Hic et Ubique
by Kettering
Summary: When Amelia finally gives up on Zelgadis, she attracts the attentions of another man - one who has anything but good intentions towards the princess- and Zel finds himself caught between the feelings he's always denied and saving the life of an old friend
1. Prologue Everything We Never Were

Nearing the fourth anniversary of its completetion, I'm finally posting this in a conspicuous place. It's still probably my greatest work, and if any of you were on the TRAD mailing list waaay back when.. My name was Kamui, and this was my story.

I'm a little nervous about casting it out into the unfiltered realm of Slayers fics on , but here we go.

Set post-TRY, canon couples. Any and all Amelia bashers, if they're still out there, need read no further.

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Prologue: Everything We Never Were

"_Boys on my left side  
Boys on my right side  
Boys in the middle  
And you're not here..."  
-"Caught a Lite Sneeze", Tori Amos_

-------

"Princess, you have to make a choice."

"Princess, time is growing short. We cannot wait forever. You have to decide."

"Amelia, sweetheart...please, you have to do this. I know it's hard, but..."

Amelia slammed the door to her room, shutting out all the voices that cluttered the halls, cluttered her head. She headed straight for her bed and threw herself on it, burying her face in her pillow. When had it come to this?

The storm of letters had come up so quickly she barely knew what hit her. It was as if she woke up one morning, and found her life taken out of her hands. Not much more than four months after the defeat of Dark Star, she had begun to feel the pressure she'd dreaded since she was a little girl. She was getting close to being eighteen. She needed to pick a suitor.

Raising her head, she looked down at the damp spots where her tears had fallen. She hated crying like this, but the whole imperial council had all been shouting at her at once. She tried to rebuff them, tried to find reasons to disagree, but she was drowned out by too many insistent lords and ladies. Even the council members she had known since she was a child had turned against her.

"You've read so many letters. Surely one of them caught your fancy."

"There are a hundred young men who would have you. Why can't you just settle for one of them? What is the matter with you?"

Amelia sniffled and hugged the pillow tightly. She knew all too well what the matter was, and why she couldn't make a choice. None of them were that certain man. That one person whose face she saw when she closed her eyes at night. She knew none of them spoke with that same, smooth voice, the one that rang in her ears when she was alone.

Sighing deeply and wiping at her eyes, she walked over to her vanity, pulling off her tiara as she sat down in front of the mirror. She looked at herself, her red eyes, flushed cheeks...and then down on the piles of letters just below the mirror frame. They were all fine young men from across the countryside, each of them trying to outdo the other to impress her. But none of them...none of them were... from him.

She picked up the top one, smiling a little as she read it and remembered it was a recent letter from Lina. She and Gourry were still traveling, wandering where the wind took them, but they intended to stop by Seyruun soon and say hello. They hadn't seen Zelgadis recently. Had she?

Her thoat closed and her eyes blurred as she read his name.

"No Lina-san."she said quietly to the paper. "No, I haven't seen him. He's not here now, when I need him the most."

Hearing herself say the words, she dropped the paper as if it had bitten her, and once again looked back at her reflection. She'd finally verbalized it. Something she'd that had been inside her so long, but had never dared to be put into words. She studied herself and feeling her insides start to burn with pain and anger long kept restrained, she forced herself to speak once more.

"He's not here when I have to make this choice and he's the only one I'd choose. He's not here...because he doesn't care."

Her voice broke on the last syllable, and she began to cry again, the agony of the truth spreading throughout her body and forcing the tears down her cheeks.

She had never meant as much to him as he had to her. For every loving look she sent his way, his response was the same cold stare he always gave. She had never been any desire of his, his whole mind devoted to his quest to regain his humanity.

Well, then, she decided coldly to herself as she tried to quiet her sobs. What had he never been to her? He had never been someone she could turn to with her problems. He had never treated her as anything more than a companion he didn't always need. He had never loved her.

She took some deep breaths, and clenched her hands at her knees, but when she raised her face to the mirror once more, her eyes were dry. It was time to let go.

Determination swelled inside her, battling against the longing, the pain that could never truly be soothed. It was time to let go of him, to move on, to find someone else who might look her way, hold her hand, wrap his arms around her in the cold night.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and stood. She was not going to moon uselessly over Zelgadis Graywords any longer. Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun was not going to tolerate waiting for an inconstant friend anymore. She would-

A knock at the door interrupted her reverie, and, checking her face for any sign of tears once more, she hurried over to the door. Her chambermaid bowed and handed her a letter and a small package wrapped in brown paper.

"This just came for you, Princess."

"Thank you, Enara-san."she said softly, and shut the door, leaning against it as she opened the letter.

She was not surprised in the least to find it was another letter from another prince. But the penmanship was nicer than many of the ones she'd received, and it was clear the gentleman had taken a lot of time to write it all out himself. Reading it, Amelia slowly walked back to her bed and sat down on the edge. His tone was very pleasant, and she was surprised to note how many things they seemed to have in common.

"Arret Vahn Tiolas."she tried out his name. It wasn't a bad name... "Amelia Wil Tesla de Tiolas." that didn't sound nearly as good, but then again, none of the others had either.

Finished with the letter, she turned to the parcel, carefully unwrapping it. It was a little velvet box, and the princess's heart sped up; she knew all too well what would be inside it.

And, opening it, she proved herself right. On a cushion of dark blue silk sat a diamond ring. Her eyes widened as she took in its size. She picked it up and tilted it to this side and that, watching the light dance off it. As she turned it to the left, she happened to glance at her bedside table, and on the crumpled piece of paper that sat on it- her one and only letter from a stone chimera. Too many times, she had crunched it into a ball and hurled it across the room, only to walk over to it later, unfold it, and hold it to her heart.

Her resolve started to break as she looked at it, but, making up her mind, she held out her right hand, and slid the diamond onto her finger.

She stood and looked down at the letter once more, a changed woman. A woman fed up with her circumstances, sick of rejection, and just wanting things to be done with. An _engaged_ woman. Although her eyes were rapidly flooding, she held her head high and spoke clearly.

"Goodbye, Zelgadis-san."


	2. 1 Kage no Ou King of Shadows

Part I- Kage no Ou _(King of Shadows)_

"_Your secret heart belongs to the world  
of the things that cry in the dark..."  
- Mononoke Hime _

-------

Grau polished the circle of glass with the edge of her robes before pushing her long black bangs from her eyes and sliding her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. Placing her hands on the balcony railing, she stared out at the frozen wastes and shivered a little; sometimes the wind was too bitter, even for a Mazoku.

But there were more important things to worry about now. Like where that damned partner of hers had gotten to. Grou always played things very close. He knew all too well that their master had requested an audience with them, yet the blasted idiot was nowhere to be found.

"GROU!"she called, her words immediately swallowed by the rising storm.

Turning with a curse, she stalked back inside the castle. He could face the wrath of their master alone; _she _was going to be a loyal priest and show some respect to their lord. It wasn't that she wanted him to suffer as she knew he would. No, he was as much to her as one creature could be to another. It was as if, she once considered, they had been created as two parts of one whole. Seeing him in agony would cause her no pleasure. But she wasn't about to let their master begin to think that she didn't take an order seriously. Since the death of his general, he'd placed a great deal of responsibility on her shoulders, and she would never disappoint him. Not only because she would consider herself a failure, but because it might mean her life.

Bending the world's fabric to her will, she stepped between planes, and transported herself to the castle's great hall. As she came out of her shift, she was immediately aware that the air around her grew colder. Although she'd spent more than a thousand years in his service, it continued to startle her. Without even looking into the swirling shadows against one wall of the room, she dropped to one knee.

"Master."

Slowly shifting into his human form, Dynast Grausherra didn't look up, merely continued concentrating on the white sphere floating a few inches above his left hand.

"Grau."he made a small gesture with his other hand, and she stood. "Where is your partner?"

"I wish I could say, Master, but I haven't seen him today."

"When you do see him, tell him I'd like a word or two."

Grau nodded and repressed a shudder. Grou was certainly going to be in pain upon his return.

"I will. What is it you want us to do?"

"It's been a long time since Sherra's failure, hasn't it?"

"It has."

"And a while since Gaav and Hellmaster's deaths."

"Almost two years."

"Two years."he repeated thoughtfully, then smirked. "I thought it had been longer." He sighed, and stood up from his throne. "I guess I was mistaken."

"But I'm sure your majesty didn't call me to discuss lengths of time."

Dynast finally looked at her, his cold gray eyes bright beneath his dark bangs.

"No, I didn't. I called you because I have something for you to do."

"Ask, and it's as good as done."

He began to descend the stairs to her, the white sphere still glowing and emitting a soft hum.

"Sherra's failure is behind us now. And the Mazoku race lessens in ranks by the day. We need a new general, and I've had my eye on someone for a good while now."

"Grou and I will get him, Master."she dropped her head respectfully.

"Not him. _Her._"he grinned. "She's a little sorceress, very skilled, with more battles behind her than one would consider just from looking at her."he held the sphere out to her and she took it. "She's the one. I want you to go and give her Dolgofar, then bring her here."

As she watched the images flash across the convex surface, Grau couldn't conceal a surprised expression.

"Her?! Wouldn't the swordsman be more appropriate? As far as I know, she has no skill with any weapon. You would put Dolgofar into her hands?"

She inhaled quickly as she realized her misstep. Dynast's eyes flashed as he reached out and lifted her chin with one hand.

"Are you questioning me, Grau?"his voice had dropped in volume, taking on a much more menacing tone.

"No. Never."she flushed with shame and embarrassment, her heart loud in her ears.

"I should hope not."

"But I don't understand..."

"Understand this."he tossed her head to the side sharply. "I've been watching her for a long time. I've studied her, and she has more potential to be a great servant of darkness than anyone might have imagined. So she's not a swordswoman, so what? You will train her."

"Won't her companions come after her?"Grau peered into the sphere.

"Of course they will."he brushed past her, heading for one of the long, dark halls that connected to the room. "Do you think I haven't considered that?"

"I'm sure you have."she scrambled after him. "I was just interested in how you plan to deal with them. Perhaps Grou and I should eliminate them at the start?"

Dynast laughed coldly, turing to her with a malicious smile.

"Certainly..if you can get them alone. But as a group, knowing what they've done to Gaav and Hellmaster? Really Grau, do you honestly think you'd escape with your life?"

"I..."the priestess couldn't respond.

"Precisely. Haven't you been listening? I said I know these people. I can predict their course of action down to the last spell they'll cast. They'll come after her, and they'll fight for her. But fighting is always much easier when it's on your own ground."the Dark Lord paused, looking up and around the shadowy pillars of his palace. "If they come here, we shouldn't have as much trouble." He started walking again. "I'm not saying that going against them is going to be easy, but when you know the attack, and you have the advantage of knowing the field, the cards are in your favor."

Grau blinked as another image appeared before her eyes.

"What about him?"

Glancing over, he smiled smugly and smoothed his hair back.

"He's nothing."

"Well, she loves him, doesn't she?"

"So what if she does?"

"From what I've heard about these people...Master, they'll go up against L-sama Herself to save someone they love."

"Do you have a point to this, Grau?"

"I just...He'll be quite a threat, won't he?"

"Grau,"he reached over and closed his fist around the sphere; it dissolved into nothing. "Whether she loves him, or if," he chuckled darkly, "He loves her, isn't the question. I've made up my mind, and I've planned this longer and farther out than you know. The question is this." He turned to face her. "Will you get her for me or not?"

"I will, Master. As will, Grou. I promise you.." Dropping again to one knee, she lay her right arm across her chest.

"Go get Dolgofar, and then be on your way." Dynast moved off down the hall. "I'm leaving this in your hands, Grau. Don't fail me."

"I swear we won't, master."she called, but he had rounded another corner and disappeared into the depths of his castle.

Grau stood, trying to slow her heartbeat. This was the greatest thing he had ever asked of her, and to do it right meant to prove herself and her partner to him. She had been waiting for this for centuries upon centuries. Shifting through space once more, she entered a room low in the castle, pitch black except for a dim light in the distance. As it had in Dynast's presence, the temperature seemed to get lower as she approached the light source, and Grau felt the hair on the back of her neck begin to prickle. Raising her hand, she whispered a few words and broke through the first of a series of barriers designed to prevent any of her master's lesser minions from getting too close to Dolgofar.

The second seal required more concentration, and the chant was longer, but still it was an easy task for her. The third proved to be the most difficult, as it was by far the most important. A few feet beyond the invisible barrier, a black sword rested on a slab of marble, barely indistinguishable from its surroundings in the poor light. Raising her hands such that her index fingers and thumbs formed a diamond shape, Grau recited the final set of words- words known only to Dynast and his priests- and the last invisible partition parted for her.

With growing excitement, she stepped into the magic circle drawn around the marble slab, feeling the power of the symbols flow through her body. Her breath caught in her throat as she reached the stand and gazed down at the sword that had once belonged to the Supreme King's general. The blade was as black as the ice walls of the palace, but after careful inspection, one could see shadows dancing across the surface, moving at a maddeningly slow pace. The hilt was just as dark- made, she knew from Vjada, a metal long since forgotten by the mortal world. Reaching out to it, Grau ran her fingers along the blade, over the deep blue stone set at the point where the cold blackness gave way to the huge double guard. The matching stone set in her silver armband seemed to warm suddenly, and the rush of power became even stronger. This was a sword that could break souls, and soon it would be put to use once more.

Grau lifted its scabbard from where it rested nearby, then carefully picked up the sword, sliding the two together. The hilt met the edge with a sharp click, and the light from the circle suddenly went out, leaving her in darkness. That was no matter, as in a moment she was back in the main network of hallways, sword in hand, heading for the balcony where she'd waited for her partner.

The clicking of another pair of boots was suddenly present behind her, but she didn't turn.

"Where have you been?"she made her tone as annoyed as possible as her fellow priest increased his pace to walk up beside her.

"Here and there. You know."he grinned at her.

"You smell like cheap wine."she glanced over and raised an eyebrow. "Master is not going to be pleased. He wants to see you."

"I know. I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I?"he didn't sound the least bit contrite. "I would have stayed away longer, but I felt someone break the barriers around Dolgofar." his eyes fell upon the weapon in her hands. "And it was obviously you who did it. Dare I ask why?"

"We have an appointment with someone this evening. We're leaving after Master blasts the shit out of you."her smile was cruel, but familiar; to him, she could say anything she wanted, without fear, without remorse.

Trying to scowl, he brushed his short hair back and stopped walking, beginning to fade out.

"Where are we going?"

"Seyruun."Grau said as she continued down the corridor. "Dress nicely, because we're going to meet with a princess."

Grou watched her go, and felt the corner of his mouth curl up in a smile. Then, he too was gone.


	3. 2 Broken Dances

Thanks to the people who are reviewing, I really appreciate it. A note, though: please don't review parts of the story that haven't happened yet, because not everyone has read it or knows what happens. Thanks. :) I'll try to respond to people here as much as I can.

Klutz82 - Hi honey! WILL HE? I dunno. It's a mystery. ;)p

Cookie - Thank you! Considering it took, like, four chapters for my last story to attract anyone, that really means a lot. I hope you'll stay for the ride...

Xoni Newcomer - Greatly appreciated. Um...maybe he'll smack her with a bat? He's a sneaky one...

Kiadi - If you did, kudos to you for finding it. Even I couldn't find it, and I wrote the goddamn thing. However, if you want my own reasoning about the rest of the story and what happens to Zel, please feel free to e-mail me. I'm glad that you're willing to read it again in lieu of your annoyance, and certainly, it makes me glad to know you think so highly of my writing. I don't actually do Slayers fics anymore; this took almost a year and took everything out of me, so it was the last one. The little short ones I did before are posted at The Den, run by Pairaka (and it won't let me post the address here...) if you're interested. :)

Reader - I adore Amelia. I'm glad you like it! And..uh...oops? Technical difficulties with the naming... also you were supposed to think it was Lina. And I wrote this four years ago, so it's a little... yeah. Hope you continue to enjoy!

And yeah. It's long, so bring a pillow. Here we go.

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Part II- Broken Dances

"_Too much is how I love you, but too well is how I know you..."_  
-_"Hour Follows Hour," Ani DiFranco_

-------

To say Zelgadis Graywords was not fond of parties would have been an understatement. No, the chimeric shamanist and swordsman downright hated parties, and made a point of having as little fun as possible. He was doing a very good job of that at the moment, slumping in a chair off to the side of Seyruun's brightly lit ballroom.

Sure, the sight before him was festive and cheery, and the music was quite lovely, but he wasn't going to allow anything to change his mood. He didn't want to be here, and that was that.

He glanced over as Gourry, sitting to his left, raised his glass and emptied it in one swallow, then returned to staring forlornly out at the floor. Zelgadis had noticed a different air about his friend tonight; the swordsman seemed tense, as if in expectation of something. Of course, that was probably just because Lina was somewhere out there, while her guardian was sitting alone. The two had stepped out on the floor together, but Gourry had returned moments later without the small sorceress. Since then, he'd done nothing but watch the dancers, waiting for her to pass.

And on his right...well, he certainly doubted that a certain purple-haired Mazoku had been on the guest list. But there he was, Xellos Metallium, staring at him in all his bastardly glory, leaning so far back in his chair it was difficult for Zel to resist just standing up and pushing him down.

In an attempt to control his murderous impulses, he slumped down a little further, cursing his poor timing. He'd met up with Lina and Gourry while pursuing another possible lead to his cure, and had let them talk him into visiting Seyruun with them for a few days.

"Come on, Amelia will be so happy to see you!"Lina had said brightly, grinning at the chimera with something that hinted at a deeper meaning. He'd shrugged it off as he'd shrugged off everything like that. Yes, he was more than aware of the princess's little crush on him, and her bracelet hanging over the mouthpiece of his water bottle was probably very obvious. But he was going to be damned before he let anyone, even Lina Inverse, try to talk him into courting Amelia. Royalty was a bitch to get involved with. Aside from having to deal with complicated affairs of state on a daily basis, being a consort of the princess also meant that he would be up for judging by everyone who had the ability to speak. And he was positive that someone like him would never survive the inspection of the imperial council. Not that he was interested in becoming a paramour of the princess anyway. He wasn't. Nope. Not at all. Still, he'd begrudgingly let himself be dragged toward the White Magic Capital.

They'd detected changes as soon as they'd entered the city. Of course, it was the same gorgeous haven it had always been, complete with the marvelous ice cream, but there seemed to be rumors in the street of the princess and an important decision she was making. Lina hadn't cared enough to stop and inquire (assuming that Amelia herself could tell them about whatever it was), so they'd left it alone. The thing that had changed the most, however, was the way in which Amelia had greeted them. She'd practically strangled Lina and Gourry with excited embraces, but as she noticed Zel, all her enthusiasm had disappeared. Her smile was suddenly forced and instead of...well...doing anything that was typical of the princess, she'd extended a hand to him, shaken it loosely, then immediately darted off to tend to some official business, calling orders to the servants to give them all rooms.

He'd made a point of ignoring the puzzled looks from Lina and Gourry, and followed the servingman to his room.

The next few days he had kept to himself for the most part, scanning the palace library for any leads to his cure, and he didn't see the princess very much. Admittedly, he was a little surprised she hadn't "wandered" in, or even stopped by to say hello. In fact, her voice seemed strained when they spoke, although there was no difference in the way she acted towards his other two companions. But it didn't bother him in the least. It was a relief that she wasn't going to be so intrusive into his work. Yes.

Three days into their stay, they'd found themselves being forced into fancy clothes, preparation for some grand celebration. None of them had any idea what it was for, but the dress was certainly formal. Zel had been presented with a handsome jet-colored overcoat, beige waistcoat, and black cravat, and although he acted very unhappy about the whole get-up, he actually took a moment to admire himself once the servant who'd helped him was gone. Of course, it wasn't getting much show right now. He hadn't moved from his chair since the dinner had finished and the dancers begun.

An arm made its way across his field of vision, and he recognized it as belonging to Xellos- the Mazoku was reaching for the wine bottle. Zel eyed him with extreme distaste, his mere presence a blasphemy in the good city.

"Is that anyway to treat an old friend?"Xellos pursued his lips in a mock pout. "Really Zelgadis-san, one might think that you don't appreciate my stopping by."

"I still don't know what the hell you're doing here."he said, his voice tinged with rapidly growing inpatience - and he wanted to make that very obvious.

"Would you believe Amelia-san invited me, Zelgadis-san?"Xellos flashed his infuriating smile and held up his wine glass in a little toast.

"She's got more sense than that..."Zel growled, finding it very hard to keep from lashing out at the annoyance.

"Yes, she's a very smart little girl. Smart enough to know you wouldn't dance with her." The Mazoku's eyebrows lowered, giving his grin a darker edge. "I mean, she's practically ignored you all evening, hasn't she?"

Zel felt his heart clench for an instant, and he was momentarily taken aback by the comment, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let it show. Instead, he fixed Xellos with a glare that might have killed a lesser man.

"Now, now Zelgadis-san."the priest waved a finger at him. "Calm down or you'll ruin the party."

"Stay out of my business, fruitcake."

"Ne, Zel,"Gourry inquired suddenly; the chimera hadn't been aware he was listening. "Why haven't you asked her to dance?"

Although it was his friend talking, and not the Mazoku, Zel didn't change his harsh tone.

"I don't dance, okay?"

Gourry looked a bit surprised, and held up a hand with a gesture of apology as Xellos sipped his wine delicately.

"Not that it matters. She's having a lovely time without him. Why just look how close she is to the gentleman she's dancing with..."

"I'm not looking."Zel said, folding his arms across his chest and closed his eyes. Xellos wasn't going to win this.

"And, oh my, it looks like he's got his hands on her b-"

The stone shamanist didn't let him finish. His eyes flew open and he stared straight ahead at the princess, smiling at some young man who had his hands squarely on her behind as they passed by.

"What the?! Why that..."

Something surged within him and he stood up quickly, stalking out onto the floor, his whole mind focused on the pair. Behind him, he heard Xellos begin to strike up a conversation with Gourry, but that wasn't important. What mattered to him now, more than getting rid of the pesky little fruitcake, was getting an insolent pair of hands off a princess.

---

Amelia laughed as Prince Revion, a handsome honey-blonde youth and friend from her childhood, swung her around in a perfect circle. This party had done wonders for her mood; there was nothing like a pretty dress and lively music to lighten a girl's spirit. Glancing bright red hair out of the corner of her eye, she had to smile. It was so nice to see Lina enjoying herself, although the princess was a little puzzled as to what her friend was doing dancing with someone other than Gourry.

Oh well, she said to herself, and let the thought slip away.

"You've become an excellent dancer, Princess."Revion smiled at her and pulled her a bit closer.

Amelia blushed, and her eyes widened as she felt his hand slide from her waist to rest on her behind.

"Revion-san..." She quickly made sure no one was looking.

"Yes, Princess?"he asked, winking at her.

"I've never seen this side of you!"she giggled as they turned again. "What should I tell your mother?"

"Tell her the wine was a little too strong if you want. Or tell her that I was captivated by your beauty. Either one will do."

The princess gave a full blown laugh that was cut off abruptly by the sudden appearance of a familiar blue face over Revion's shoulder.

"Excuse me...But do you really think you should be handling the princess like that?"

The words were a hiss, and Revion nearly jumped out of his skin before turning to see a very angry Zelgadis standing behind him.

"Huh?"he sputtered.

"Your hands."Zel gestured to them. "Remove them."

Revion looked to his hands and so did Amelia, whose blushed deepened, before they both stared at the chimera.

"Zelgadis-san..."

"I said let go!"

Revion did quickly, and took a small step away from Amelia. He shot her a confused glance, obviously wondering what Zel was so angry about. The princess herself could only shrug; she had no idea. Revion look back at the chimera, and decided to start acting like the royalty he was. He straightened, and held his head a bit higher.

"There. I let go. Are you happy?"

"No. What audacity do you have to even put your hands on her in the first place?"

"Zelgadis-san, please..."Amelia looked around worriedly to see if anyone had noticed them. No, people were still dancing around them as if nothing was going on. She sighed with relief, then stiffened as Revion took on a very courtly tone.

"And what rights do you have to her, commoner? What are you even doing here?"

"I don't need to answer you."Zel snarled. "Just stay away from her."

"Oh, you don't need to answer me?"Reivon folded his arms across his chest. "May I remind you which one of us is less likely to be forcefully removed from here for causing a disturbance?"

"I don't care. I said stay away from her and I meant it."

"I didn't see you dancing with her."

"Revion-san, Zelgadis san, this is silly. Zelgadis-san is just a friend, he-"

"No, Princess, I don't think you should interfere. Come on. If you care so much about who has his hands on her, why aren't you the one holding her?"

"I..."Zel was taken aback. "I'm just looking out for her, alright? I'm not a dancer."

"I'll say..."Amelia sighed, shaking her head.

"What?"the two men chorused.

"Eheh! Nothing!"she flushed, then turned away as they began to bicker more loudly. What on earth was Zelgadis doing? Arguing with Revion over her? She had to be dreaming. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then opened them once more. The two of them were still there, and they were starting to get into one another's faces. Amelia cringed; of course something like this would have to happen to ruin her lovely evening.

Letting her eyes casually drift across Zel's form, she felt her heart speed up, not only with attraction, but also due to a feeling that was growing increasingly common when she thought of him-anger. What right _did _he have to barge in on her dance like this when he had no say over who touched her? It wasn't like he'd asked her to dance or anything of the sort. No, he'd sat in his chair all evening, sulking. And she herself had known better than to ask him to dance.

So what on earth was this? They'd barely spoken since his arrival, and now he would just step into her dance, start a quarrel with her friend? She was going to put a stop to this.

"Amelia-san! Let's dance!"

In an instant, Amelia found herself being swept across the dance floor. It took her a moment to get steadily on her feet once more, and then she looked at her new dancing partner.

"Xellos-san! What are you- "

"It's a party, isn't it?"he smiled at her. "And people dance at parties. So I thought I'd dance with you."

The sorceress tried to find words to protest, but to her surprise, none came. It was definitely strange to not resist him, especially knowing how badly he'd treated them before the battle with Dark Star. But she was in his arms, and every step carried them further from Revion and Zel's argument, which was getting increasingly louder. She scowled, then gave her the Mazoku her most sickeningly sweet grin.

"Isn't dancing like this bad for your health, Xellos-san?"

"Admittedly, it's not the most pleasant feeling in the world, but you looked so gorgeous tonight, I couldn't resist."

She knew it was just flattery, but she let her smile become more genuine, and felt her cheeks warm. Sure, she'd gotten a "You look great!" from Lina, and a kind "Very pretty, Amelia." from Gourry, but somehow having someone besides her friends notice her -even on a superficial level- was a very nice feeling. She had good reason, too. Her dress had been made especially for this occasion. It was white silk, and she loved the way it flowed in graceful waves from her hips, making her look taller than she really was. Circles of silk fell around her upper arms, leaving her shoulders bare, and in a rare moment of daring, she'd pulled up her hair into a bun. Her tiara was perched perfectly on her dark hair, and she wore a matching set of diamond earrings and necklace.

"Do you really think so?" she asked tentatively.

"Of course I do!"he laughed. "And your ensemble is all the prettier with this lovely ring!"

"What?"she blinked, momentarily thrown.

"This ring of yours."Xellos gestured to the hand he held. "It's quite a large stone. Is it from one of your suitors, Princess?"

"...Yes..."she said quietly, the delight she'd felt a moment before gone.

"Ah! So the heir is finally going to get married then! How wonderful!"he spun her around and they ended up with his arms wrapped around her and her back against his chest. When he spoke again, his voice was very close to her ear."What does Zelgadis-san have to say about it?"

"Nothing."Amelia felt her chest tighten. "He doesn't know."

The Mazoku swung her out again and they resumed normal position.

"Well, you're going to tell him, aren't you?"

"I don't think he even cares."

Xellos opened his eyes a little at the edge in her voice. He'd sensed a great deal of dark feelings in the little princess this evening, and they tasted delightful.

"He's quite dense sometimes, isn't he?"Xellos grinned a little. "He even let you go off and dance with that young man who was fondling you."

Amelia blushed.

"You saw that?"

"I came to rescue you from that. Your purple-haired knight in shining armor."he winked at her. "Now no more talking, Amelia-san. Let's just enjoy our dance."

This was getting very strange. Here she was, the crown princess, dancing with a Mazoku while Zelgadis Graywords himself argued over the rights to her behind with one of her oldest friends. What was going on in the world? Shaking her head, she tried to blot out everything except her knowledge of the dance steps.

---

"Look, it was just a dance alright! "Revion was really starting to get frazzled. This man simply would _not _give up. "I didn't mean a thing by it! Amelia is a good friend! It was a joke! Besides, even if I was interested, she's already wearing that ring. She's taken!"

Zel paused. "Ring? What ring?"

"The huge diamond on her right hand! The engagement ring!"the prince slowed when he saw Zel's surprise. "You mean you didn't know about it? She's engaged now. I thought maybe from the way you were fighting that you were the one who gave it to her."

"She's wearing an engagement ring?"Zel knew he was being redundant, and felt stupid for it, but the words just didn't seem to want to process. "You're kidding."

"Go look for yourself."Revion smoothed his hair. "She's over there."

The chimera turned in the direction the prince pointed and thought his eyes would fall from his head. Amelia was dancing with Xellos! Why that Mazoku bastard! What right did he have to touch her?! First he intruded on a royal gathering and now he was putting his filthy paws all over Amelia! Suppressing a growl, Zel stormed over to them, and stuck his arm between them.

"May I cut in." It was a demand, not a question.

"Are you done arguing with that young gentleman, Zelgadis-san?"Xellos said innocently. "And are you going to take another dancing partner away from our dear princess?"

"I said-"

Xellos was suddenly profoundly aware of a presence in the room that hadn't been in there a second before. He held up his hand to stop him Zel, his now-open lavender eyes scanning his surroundings and the party goers. His eyes halted in one spot, and for a second, they seemed to get wider. Then, turning, he kissed Amelia's hand and smiled at her once more.

"Well, it seems I suddenly have some very important business to attend to. Thank you for the lovely dance, Princess."

With that, he faded out. Zelgadis glared at the spot where he'd been, then looked to Amelia. She looked back. Neither of them could speak.

Oh, it wasn't that there weren't words in Amelia's head. It was just that they were words so mean she'd never wanted to say anything like them to anyone. And that they were directed at him- a good friend, someone she'd faced hell with...The person who'd abandoned her here to fate. She loved him, of course she did. She always would. But she knew him a little too well.

As for Zel, there were too many questions in his head that all demanded attention at the same time. She was engaged? How could she be engaged and not tell them! Was that why she'd been so cold to him? Why was she looking at him like that? And should he ask her to dance?

Finally, she dropped her eyes to the floor, shifted her feet a little, then flashed him a quick, false smile, and started to walk away. Zel recalled bitterly what Xellos had said before; Amelia knew he wouldn't dance with her, so she wasn't going to bother asking. The chimera decided firmly that he was going to change that.

"Would you like to dance, Amelia?"

She froze and turned slowly.

"What?"

Swallowing back his nerves, he held out his hand.

"Would you like to dance?"

For a moment, Amelia nearly leapt into his arms. She'd been waiting for this for so long. But as she reached out her hand to him, the diamond glimmered in the light, reminding her. She closed her eyes and bit back a wave of new pain as she felt his arm encircle her waist.

Zel felt his mouth drop open a little as her took her hand. It was true. She honestly was engaged. And she hadn't even told them! Now there were even more questions. He sorted them out as they began to dance, and finally decided on one.

"How long were you going to wait before you told us about your engagement?"he inquired, trying to keep annoyance out of his voice. That she wouldn't even tell her close friends...it wasn't like her.

Amelia opened her large blue eyes slowly. All the cheer that was normally inside them was gone. All the laughter, the joy...everything that had defined the eyes he knew so well wasn't there. They were angry now. Angry as he'd never seen them.

"I don't know. I kind of thought you would have noticed sooner."

"We've barely spoken since I arrived. How could I know?"

"I thought Lina-san or Gourry-san might have seen it and that they would tell you."she shrugged a little as they turned.

"You expected Lina and Gourry to notice something like that?"he smirked.

She glared at him, and he was greatly taken aback. Amelia had never looked at any of her friends so coldly. He tried to shake away a strange feeling of discomfort.

"What's his name?"he had to move his eyes; for some reason, it was too hard to see her as she answered.

"Arret Vahn Tiolas."her voice trembled a little.

"Is he nice?"

"I don't know. I've never met him."

Zel's eyes got a little larger.

"You've never met him...but you're going to marry him?"

"That's what it's like being a princess and heir apparent."she made the "t" sound very sharp, punctuating it with a small movement of her head. "I've been having suitors shoved down my throat for months. I've hardly met any of them, but I had to pick one."

"Oh." He'd meant to say more, but somehow there weren't any words left in his mouth.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say? Oh?" Now she was really angry. It rose in her like a black flood, and although she wanted to push it back down, it wouldn't obey. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to do this? To come to my room every night and have to sort through letter after letter after letter from people who didn't know me and whom I didn't want to know? And do you know how hard it was for me to read these letters and love someone who was so far away from me, someone I wanted to come and hold me, and comfort me, and tell me I didn't have to choose?!" Anger and indignation made their way up to her eyes, forcing them to fill and then spill hot streams of water down her cheeks. "It was the most painful thing I've ever had to go through. More than being wounded by Saygram, more than being crushed by Dark Star, more than dying! Can you possibly understand that?" She brought them to a halt mid-turn. "It's no secret that I've had feelings for you since we fought Zanaffar. I know Lina-san knows, and Gourry-san, and of course you know. I think I made it awfully obvious. And maybe I set myself up to be disappointed. Because everyone knows Zelgadis-san has his curse to worry about." She stepped away and out of his arms, wiping at her eyes fiercely, but it did no good- the tears came even faster. "Nobody even cares about that curse except for you! And you never see that!" she swallowed hard. "You never see me."

A few of the couples had stopped around them, worried that their princess was crying. She looked at them all, then faked a smile, and motioned for everyone to keep going. They resumed, but did so only after casting a few more glances in her direction. She ignored them and lowered her voice as she turned back to Zel.

"I guess I always thought maybe one day...you'd...feel the same way. I gave you my bracelet so you would think about me when you traveled, but I guess it was only enough to make you write me one letter. And I never knew when I'd see you again, or when I'd get a chance to talk to you... And all this whole time, the imperial council and my _own father_ are throwing boys at me and none of them are you!"she closed her eyes and hugged herself, tilting her head and brushing her wet cheeks on her shoulder. "Because you don't want me. I hoped and I hoped and I prayed and I wished on every star every night. And you don't love me." The tears abruptly slowed, and she let her arms drop. Amelia took a deep breath and look straight at him forcing her words directly into his mind. "So I decided to let go of you. You're free to jump for joy if you like. You always brushed off my affection like it was the most irritating thing in the world, but you don't have to deal with it anymore! Every god knows that I love you, and I can't ever really let you go, but I am engaged. This is my ring, and I am marrying Arret Vahn Tiolas whether I want to or not, or if he wants to or not, or what. So there you are, Zelgadis-san."

Her monologue finished, Zel could only stand there, mouth slightly open once more, staring at her. Speechless couldn't describe what was happening to him right now. It was a complete and utter inability to form any coherent word or thought, topped with an inexplicable incapacity for his vocal cords to work.

Once again, they looked at each other, an angry, angry princess, and a silent chimera. Indeed, they might have stood there forever, had it not been for another voice that broke in at that moment.

"Princess Amelia?"

Amelia jumped a little at the sound, then looked over at the two people who had come up beside them. It was the woman who'd spoken. Dressed in a strapless black gown, she smiled brightly at them, dark eyes glinting behind her glasses. She bowed, and for an instant the ebony bangs that framed her face obscured it from view. A light flashed on the silver clip that held her hair up against the back of her head in a neat twist, then on the silver band around her arm and the blue stone set within.

The gentleman next to her waited until she had straightened before leaning down to kiss Amelia's hand. He too was dressed entirely in black save for his cravat, which was a pale blue. The pin on it was of the same stone set in his companion's arm band.

"Forgive us for intruding, your highness."he said once they were both standing tall again. "Allow me to introduce myself. Lord Grou, of the North, and my..."he hesitated as he searched for the right word and the black-haired woman glared at him. "..Partner, Lady Grau."

"How nice to meet you!" Amelia gave her best princess grin, the tears and pain suddenly gone from her face. She curtsied prettily. "Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun, at your service, and this is Zelgadis Graywords."

Grau and Grou both turned to him. Still reeling and in complete shock at what Amelia had said, he could only murmur something like "Charmed" as they shook hands.

"I don't remember seeing your names on the guest list." Amelia commented once they'd finished with Zel.

"A mistake on our part."Grou smiled embarrassedly, rubbing the back of his head. "We were late in responding."

"You must forgive us, we're a little unorganized these days."Grau blushed slightly. "We've had so many things come upon us at such short notice."

"Well you're very welcome here in Seyruun." the little princess stood proudly. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Actually,"Grau said as she exchanged a look with her partner. "There is something we'd like to discuss with you. It's an important matter of state, but I can't say much more about it right here."

"Oh, if that's the case, I think you might want to consult with my father. He-"

"We spoke with him earlier."Grou cut in. "But he suggested that since you'll soon be taking over many of these kinds of affairs, perhaps we should talk with you."

It was Amelia's turn to blush as she smiled.

"Really, I don't know if I'd be very helpful."

"I'm sure you can help us."Grau smiled, and for a second, Zel felt very cold. "Could we go somewhere more private to talk?"

"Certainly! Follow me!"Amelia, head held high, started to walk away.

The pair fell in behind her, and in a moment, Zel came out of his near-trance and realized she was leaving him alone. Alone, after everything she'd just said.

"AMELIA! WAIT!"

He tried to run after, but was hindered by too many dancers, several of whom gave him very dirty looks for referring to the princess so informally. By the time he made it off the floor, she was nowhere to be seen.

Confounded, somewhat angered, and with a heavy feeling in his chest, Zel sank down at an abandoned table and poured himself a good stiff drink.

---

Through the bright halls and down a flight of stairs found Amelia and the two northern visitors on one of the verandas that overlooked the garden. Lights from the surrounding city shone through the foliage and tried to outdo the spectacular spread of stars above them. The sounds of the party were still barely audible as the princess leaned against the railing.

"Is this spot good enough?"

"It's perfect."Grau smiled. "I couldn't have picked a better location myself."

"So, what is this important matter?" Amelia tried not to sound overly excited; she was very pleased that her father had sent them to her. It was a rather strange thing for him to do, but then he had been placing may important tasks on her shoulders of late.

"It concerns the lord we work under."Grou joined her. "And you. Recently, he's become very interested in you."

"Er.."Amelia bit her bottom lip slightly but tried to keep smiling. "I'm sorry, but I'm engaged. I apologize."

The other two looked at her a moment, then Grau laughed, a cold, clear sound. Amelia became acutely aware of a chill in the air that hadn't been there before. It sent a shudder down her spine, and a sense of unease began to pervade her being.

"No, it's not like that, Princess. He's become very interested in your skill as a sorceress."

"Oh, really...It's really more..priestess..y..It's nothing."she reddened again and waved her hand in a dismissive manner. Goodness, they were really complimenting her tonight. A little too much, perhaps. "If he wants a good sorceress, you should talk to Lina-san. Lina Inverse, I mean. She's here, I can go get her for you, if you'd like..."she started to leave.

Grau grabbed her arm as she passed and pulled her back.

"He wants _you_, Princess. And what he wants is what he gets."

Grou held out his hand, palm upwards, and it was suddenly surrounded by swirling shadows. When they dissipated a moment later, they'd left behind a long object.

"We have something he asked us to give you that may sway your decision either way."he held it out to her. "Take it."

Amelia looked at the object -a black scabbard enclosing large sword. The air got even cooler, and she shivered a bit more.

"Ah...that's a sword."she felt her pulse quicken, and glanced nervously at where Grau's hand was still closed around her wrist. "I'm very appreciative, really, but I'm not the least bit skilled when it comes to weapons."

"That doesn't matter. You will be."he pushed it into her hands. "It's yours now."

Grau let go as she took it. It was fairly heavy, but she was able to hold onto it, finding it icy to the touch. Swallowing slowly, she closed her hand around the hilt and slid the sword about an inch out of its sheath. Her next breath caught inside as cold terror took hold of her. The blade was as dark as the shadows it had come from, and something about the way it felt in her hands, the way the moonlight cast writhing light upon it, made it seem as though she was holding a living creature.

"Really..."her voice was quiet and strained to be released from her throat. "I can't take this..." Another breath. "Where in the north did you say you were from?"

"Just the north, that's all." Grau smiled broadly. "Very, very far up where it's permanently winter. Why do you ask?"

"And who is this lord of yours? Who are you, anyway?"her voice got louder and more scared as her body told her to run.

Unexpectedly, Grau's grip returned, tightening to the point of causing pain. Amelia dropped the sword and whirled around, trying to pull away, but the black haired woman hung on firmly. Hands came down on the princess's shoulders, holding her in place. She struggled a moment, then thought of something.

"RAY-"

The spell was cut off almost immediately as Grou's hand moved with lightning speed from her shoulder to cover her mouth.

"You'll meet our master soon enough."

Amelia battled against the hold more, biting at his hand. He grimaced, but didn't let go.

"And please, you'll make this much more unpleasant if you struggle."he sighed.

Still, the princess fought her mouth free.

"Let go of me! Somebody! HELP ME! RAY WI-"

The last thing she saw was Grau's free hand reaching up and touching her forehead. A brilliant bolt of pain cracked through her skull. The world was impossibly bright. And then everything was dark.


	4. 3 Laissez Moi Tomber Not That it Matter...

Secret Monday morning update! I like to do every three days - the story's already written, why make people wait? For the record, many of the things that occur between Lina and Gourry (you'll see what I mean) were supposed to be covered in a story called "Immortal Beloved." I never actually wrote it, but I think you can assume what happened. Please e-mail me if you have any questions.

Pairaka- I will deal with you and the nutsy things you say later.  
HoushiLover- I will also deal with you later. ;)p  
Cookie - Thank you very much! And yes, there's not a lot of Xellos, but he'll be around... :)  
Hoshi-chan1 - I hope to continue to entrance you with my beguiling ways.  
Klutz82 - I dunno if she would have listened to him even if he did. Ah well, it works out...better? this way...  
Raven Summersong - Thank you! I'm glad you like it. Here is more for you!

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Part III- Laissez Moi Tomber (_Let Me Fall_)/ Not That it Matters

"...Is this being in love? _he suddenly wondered.  
It was nothing like the ballads he had heard sung.  
It was more irritating than uplifting..._"  
-_The Dragonbone Chair,_ Tad Williams

-------

How long had he been sitting there? Zel took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to answer his own question. Well, most of the guests were gone and the servants were beginning to clear things away. The bottle of liquor next to him now held half of its previous volume of alcohol, and everything in the room had a fuzzy look around the edges. So, he decided, he'd been there a pretty good while.

And he'd been alone that whole time too. Gourry was gone from the table when he'd returned, and he had no idea where Lina might have gone. Well, screw them. He didn't need them. As for Amelia...eh, she'd probably talked with those nobles for a while, then gone to bed or something.

Zel leaned forward, supporting his arms on his knees as he looked into his glass.

"Amelia..."

He'd never seen her so upset, he mused, running over her speech in his head for the five hundredth time. In fact, he hadn't ever really considered her capable of that kind of anger; even in the gravest danger, she was cheerful and perky beyond compare. But she'd changed a lot since he'd last seen her. And the princess was engaged now. Engaged to...Arr..Arr-what? Shit, he couldn't remember. Not that it mattered.

The chimera had come to the conclusion that her getting worked up was really her own fault. For L-sama's sake, he'd never asked her to fall in love with him. He doubted it had ever been love - it was pretty likely that her feelings were just a simple crush. She'd get over it. She'd have to get over it now, at least. Besides, hadn't she always known he wasn't interested? Yes, she knew. She knew and she persisted, and she... Well, she did what Amelia did. She tried, alternately being subtle and then not so, to get into his heart.

But that hadn't worked! Zel shook his head quickly and sat up, then clutched at the edge of the table as the room slanted violently in one direction. It was probably time for him to get to his suite, he decided. Standing slowly, he focused on the stairs, willing himself to walk up them.

As he walked, his thoughts shifted back to her. Sure, they were a good team. They'd worked together many times in their adventures. There was the time she'd fallen on him in the tunnels below Rezo's lab. Oh, and when they'd fought the possessed villagers in Sairaag, and she'd gotten hit in the head. Zel reached out and trailed his hand along the wall as he walked, trying to recall every instance.

They'd used the Madoki to combat the out-of control light weapons in Alto and Baritone, and captured Jiras the red fox in Valgaav's base. His pace slowed as other things came into mind. She'd dressed him up like a girl, then gotten jealous when he fell for Miwan. She'd saved his life in the fight against Copy Rezo, jumping in front of him and blasting off the Ra-Tilt like it was nothing. And there was...there was the time she died in his arms.

Zel stopped completely as he remembered that; her eyes wide and her voice forced, her hands gripping his arms tightly, not willing to let death take her. She fought against it as she'd fought everything else, but lost that time. Not that it mattered, really. Lina had saved them all and given them second chances. He remembered the relief as he picked himself off the floor and saw Amelia doing the same. It was a feeling identical to when she'd been revived from Saygram's attack. She was alright. She'd always be alright. But in neither of those cases had she cried as she'd done tonight.

Lingering too long on that thought, Zel started moving again. It was her bad luck to fall for someone like him. She had to know he wasn't one of those men who would just melt for any girl. No, he wasn't. He was a man of stone, by nature and by body, and nobody could penetrate that. Not even her.

Finally reaching his room, he stumbled in, turning up the lamp a little too far then recoiling at the brightness. He adjusted it to a low flame again, then slammed the door behind him. He pulled off his coat and tossed it over a chair as he made for the large windows. Reaching them, he sank down on the cushions in front of them and undid his vest, then pulled off the cravat and loosened his collar. After a moment of difficulty, he managed to work the lock on the window and pushed it open, feeling the cool night air cut through his haze.

Slouching against the wall, he stretched his legs out in front and gazed outside. The stars really were incredible tonight; they shone like...the diamond in Amelia's ring. Realizing he was thinking about her again, Zel groaned and bonked the back of his head against the wall. He needed to get his mind to other subjects.

But the ring was still there. And he couldn't explain the way his heart had seemed to suddenly drop into his stomach as he saw it, not to mention the thousands of feelings that suddenly flooded his thoughts. Denial of something, pain, shock...they were all present. There was even another word, an emotion, that lurked behind these- one he would never say. He didn't believe it was possible for him to feel it. He didn't _want_ to feel it.

She was just a girl. Just a girl, with a crush on him, and...alright, she was a princess too, but that was another strike against his having any feelings for her. He wasn't going to just give up everything and be the heir's consort. Like he'd said before, it wasn't something he wanted to do.

Heaving himself up off the window seat, he stumbled to his bed, sitting down on the edge and pulling off his boots before flopping down into the pillows.

"She's just a girl..."he mumbled to himself once more before sleep conquered him.

-------

_Knock knock knock._

Blinking and dizzy, Zelgadis raised his head and found himself staring at his pillow. Ugh, his head was pounding and it sounded like someone was driving nails into his brain. No, wait, that was someone knocking on the door.

_Knock knock knock._

"What?"he groaned, lying down again back to the door.

A servant meekly opened it a crack and peered in.

"Graywords-san, breakfast is being served for the guests in the main hall if you're-AAAAHH!"he ducked a fireball. Shaking, he stood up again. "I'll take that as a no? WAAH!"

The door slowly closed of it's own accord as the servant ran to find a basin of water in which to put out his now- flaming tunic. Zel rolled onto his back and glanced at a bit of fresh charring on the wall. Alright, so maybe those fireballs weren't the best idea, but what else was there to do? He felt like shit, and when that happened, he had a very short temper.

"Unhh..."he vocalized, finding it to be the only sound that fully conveyed how nasty he felt. Not to mention he was still in last night's clothes.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he sat up a little too quickly, and was hit by a wave of nausea as things began to spin. He shut his eyes and clenched his teeth until it had passed, then headed for his private bath, peeling off sweat-soaked party clothes as he went.

Zel spent a good while in the bath- almost an hour by his count. The steam had chased away some of his headache, and his vision had cleared. He was feeling almost human by the time he got out and dried off, and as he pulled on his clothes, things were looking a little better for his hungover state. He was fastening his cape when the door was rapped upon once more.

"What?"he asked again, not turning away from the mirror.

In the reflection, he watched the door open, and a red-headed sorceress leaned in, grinning broadly.

"Good morning Zelgadis!"she chirped cutely.

Zel raised a stone eyebrow and scowled.

"To what to I owe the pleasure, Lina?"

"You weren't at breakfast, so I thought I'd bring you some coffee!" Bouncing over, she held out a little tray with a blue porcelain cup and a little pot of his favorite poison.

Zel stared at her.

"Uh...what is this?"

"Nothing!"the grin, if possible, got even larger, and she ran her left hand through her fiery bangs. "I'm just doing something for my friend! Is that so wrong?"

He took the tray and set it down on a nearby table, then stood eyeing her.

"What do you want from me?"

"Who says I want anything from you?" Lina put on her best innocent face, placing her left index finger against her cheek.

"This is ridiculous. Either cut the act, or show me what you've done with the real Lina Inverse."

"It is me, silly!"the grin started to twitch a little.

"Right." Turning, he picked up the mug of coffee and drank some. Oh, it was good to have something inside him besides the liquor. He gave a little contented sigh, then was punched in the face, sending his beverage flying onto the floor. "What the hell?!"he whirled on Lina angrily.

Hands on hips and foot tapping on the floor, Lina gave him her best angry glare.

"You are really thick sometimes, you know that?"

"What is the matter with you?!"

Instead of answering, she shoved her left hand into his face. He pulled back a bit to focus on what it was she was so upset about and caught a flash of gold. Surprised, he took her hand, bringing it down lower to where he could clearly see the gold band around her finger.

"Lina, what is this?" he looked at her again.

She began to blush, and smiled: an honest, happy, beautiful smile.

"Gourry asked me to marry him last night."her voice was soft.

"And let me guess, you called him 'jellyfish' and slapped him." Zel immediately ducked another punch and swiftly stood again. Impulsively, he felt the urge to smile, and for once, didn't resist. "No. I see you've made Gourry Gabriev a very happy man."

Lina admired her ring again.

"I should think so. He's pretty damn lucky to have landed someone as gorgeous as myself."the words, although typical, were said with a great deal of love behind them. Her eyes sparkled in a way he'd never seen before.

"It took you two long enough."he tousled her hair teasingly, a rare display of affection for one of his very best friends.

"Well...we...were just waiting for the right time." Lina pushed his hand away and headed for the door; he followed. "Now I have to find Amelia and have her go crazy over me." Although she tried, she didn't sound all that unhappy at the prospect of seeing the little princess.

At the mention of her name, Zel was suddenly reminded of the previous evening. Words and emotions fought their way into his conscious mind again as he remembered angry eyes, a blur of white silk, a large diamond.

"That's right. And she can show you her ring."he murmured half to himself.

"What?" Lina froze, causing him to crash into her. Once righted, she turned. "What ring?"

"Amelia's engaged as well."Zel's voice had grown dark, and he continued walking past her. "She was waiting for you and Gourry to notice her ring before she said something, but I saw it last night."

Lina ran to catch up with him, then jumped in front of him to cut him off.

"You're not serious."

"Why wouldn't I be serious?"he gave her a cold look. "Why would I lie about something like that?"

"But...how could she be engaged?!"

"She's a princess. These things happen." Again, he started moving, leaving her behind.

"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!"she raised her foot and brought it down on the edge of his cloak, choking him, and making his stagger backwards. "What's his name?"

"Arr-something. I can't remember."he yanked his cloak from under her foot.

"How long has it been?"

"She didn't say."

"And when's the wedding?!"

"She didn't say that either."

"This is crazy!"Lina flustered a moment, then looked at him. "How do you feel about it?"

"What do you mean, 'how do I feel about it?'"he fought back a sudden feeling that lashed out from the back of his mind.

Lina rolled her eyes.

"I meant exactly what I said."

"I don't really care."he shrugged. "So she's getting married, so what?"

"Dammit Zel!"

He caught her next blow before it landed and their eyes locked.

"Lina, I know what you want me to feel, but I don't. Do you understand? I don't feel that way about her! She's just a friend..." it was hard to push the words out; they felt wrong, their meaning hollow. He shoved a strange feeling back again. "Alright? Leave me alone about it!"

"What's going on?"

Lina and Zel both jumped as Gourry rounded the nearby corner and looked at them. The chimera let go of his friend's wrist and offered the swordsman another smile, this one not as big as the last.

"Congratulations, Gourry."he held out his arm to shake hands with the other man. "Lina told me the good news."

Gourry stared for a moment, seemingly trying to remember, then grinned hugely and enthusiastically pumped Zel's arm up and down.

"Thanks Zel!"

"Er...right...Glad to see you're so happy."

Sparing her friend from having his arm ripped off by her excited fiancee, Lina stepped between them.

"Gourry, have you seen Amelia?"

"No."he brushed his bangs back a little and focused both his lovely blue eyes on her. "Actually I was coming to ask you guys the same thing. Nobody can find her this morning, and her dad is starting to get worried."

"She's probably out for a walk or something."Zel said coolly, expertly hiding the sudden fear that had surfaced within him.

"Maybe. But her maid says her clothes are still there."

"So she's wearing something else." the chimera resumed his quick pace. "She's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"Yeah. She's a big engaged girl now."

Zel halted, and Gourry looked even more puzzled than usual.

"Zel? Did you propose last night too?"

"No. I didn't."

"But then..."the blond man struggled for comprehension. "Who is she marrying if it isn't you?"

"A prince."Lina's voice had a sharp edge.

"Doesn't she love Zel?"

"It's a crush."his subject answered for him. "It's a crush, and it doesn't matter. She's getting over it. Besides, it's not like there was ever any reciprocation. She knew that." Now it was even harder to speak. Things sounded more and more unreal...painful, every time he repeated them.

Gourry and Lina slowly walked up to him.

"Zel, it wasn't a crush." his only male friend tentatively put his hand on the shorter man's shoulder. "She-"

"I don't care!"he pulled away violently, and headed down the hall with longer strides than before. "It's not important, and I have better things to worry about."

Finding himself at the library, he darted inside, and slammed the door after him. Lina and Gourry looked at each other, and Lina shrugged.

"I don't think he's quite figured things out yet."Gourry said thoughtfully, then, after a moment, grabbed his lover's hand. "But come on, help me look for Amelia."

He flashed her a quick smile before dragging her down the hall.

"GOURRY! Slow down!"

-------

Well, if Amelia was on a walk, it was sure a damn long one.

The day had passed relatively uneventfully and night had fallen on Seyruun once more, leaving Zelgadis to lie on his bed, arms folded behind his head, thinking.

The princess hadn't returned from wherever she was yet, and with every passing minute, the servants and especially Prince Phil had grown more and more agitated. She'd never done this before. She would never leave like this when there were important arrangements that needed to be planned. Where was she? Lina had reassured everyone that the little princess was fine, but Zel could see the sorceress growing worried as the hours went by and she didn't appear. Gourry was quite obviously nervous, and was currently out with some palace guards looking for her.

As for Zel, he'd spent the whole day in the library, supposedly researching his curse once more. Instead though, he'd really spent all his time sitting and staring at a table, running over their conversation again and again. He discovered a new feeling every time he did so. Fist there was an indignant twinge that she'd kept something so big from them. Then there was disbelief- how could little Amelia be so angry? And then...then there was hurt.

It had been quite a revelation for him to admit that her words had hit him hard. Words had never been able to touch him like that before. Everything could be shrugged off. But not this. He suspected it had something to do with that secret emotion that had snuck in behind everything, creeping around in back of every barrier he'd ever erected against it. The one thing he'd vowed to always keep secret. The one thing he'd sworn never to admit to himself. An emotion he'd never wanted or tried to get near. Somehow though...it had slipped in and stuck. Maybe, he thought, it would have been easier if he'd just let himself fall into it. Received it and taken it like everyone else.

Except that didn't matter now. It was out of his hands, and really, he couldn't care less. Amelia was going to be married off to a gent of her status in another place. Zel would never have to worry about hurting her now, or having to deal with stuffy royalty at every turn. He'd be free to be by himself, and he'd never have to think about her stupid crush or consider her well-being.

Yeah, right. Then what was he doing now? To be perfectly honest, he couldn't sleep because his mind was on the Princess again. Where the hell was she? Had she run away? No, Amelia had way too strong a sense of justice to up and leave her kingdom and her father like that. Then where had she gone?

Much to his chagrin, Zel found himself getting more and more concerned. Damn, but this feeling was annoying. It had crept up stealthily, and now it just wouldn't go away. He didn't need to worry, or even think about her. She was just a girl, and she could take care of herself.

Just a girl.

Still, Zel fell asleep facing the door, ready to jump out of bed the moment someone found her. Not that it really mattered or anything.


	5. 4 A Place Out of Joint

Man, when DeviantArt gets ugly, it gets ugly. I should really stick to fanfiction. Sorry for breaking my own three-day rule. College gets in the way.

Something I should mention. Due to...uh...a joke that's gotten way out of hand, my name on my e-mail shows up as "Miroku McHoushi." So, uh, if it looks like Miroku is e-mailing you, don't worry, that's just me.

-Xoni Newcomer - Don't worry, Xellos isn't just sitting idly by. He has his own plans. ;) I'm glad you're enjoying it. Did you get my e-mail? I hope it helped!  
-Gerao-A- Are there three of you or am I losing my mind? To any or all of you, I'm glad you like it, and here is fancy update!  
-Klutz82 - I love Lina and Gourry too. And yeah, Zel needs to learn to admit things to himself. Also, steals "o"'s, so don't worry about it. :)  
-Cookie - Hell yeah he does. Don't worry, they'll start.... soon....  
-Lost Complex - Ack, I'm sorry, I don't know the fic you're talking about, but I've been out of the Slayers fanfiction world for a while now. I'm glad you like this story too!  
-HoushiLover - Ma cherie. Some of Dynast's plans will become clear here.  
-Hoshi-chan1 - Then all is going according to plan!

-------

Part IV- A Place Out of Joint

"_Confusion swirls inside my head, contradictions of my life scream from the emptiness within, echoing over and over. Soft, delicate tears slowly roll down my cheeks... But what are these? Such poor representatives for what I feel inside."_  
-_Unknown_

-------

Cold.

That was the first word she remembered.

Cold. And then came "hard."

Cold and hard, she thought. Ice. The ground.

"Dark" followed soon after. It was very, very dark wherever she was, but as a moan came from a seemingly impossible distance away, the blackness began to lessen. Her eyes were opening, she realized, and the moaning sound came from her own throat.

Blinking slowly as her eyes re-adjusted, Amelia made the sound cease, watching as her body appeared before her. More precisely, her hand was revealed. Her left hand was right in front of her face, and when she concentrated hard enough, she found she could move her fingers. They felt heavy and slightly numb, but they still worked.

The hand moved, palm down against the frozen ground. On her other side, another hand did the same thing, and she managed to push herself up. As soon as she did, her skull screamed out at her, a sickening bolt of agony ripping through it again. The princess immediately dropped down again, gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut until the horrible feeling passed. Once gone, she tried to sit up again, succeeding in pushing herself up so that her weight rested on her right thigh. This done, she made a self-assessment.

Amelia was in her white party dress. Her tiara was slipping down and much of her hair had fallen out of its bun, tickling the back of her neck. And it was freezing. After rubbing her arms a moment to generate heat, she reached up and pulled her crown off, wincing as she grazed a fresh bump on her temple. Setting the piece on the floor in front of her, she took a moment to steady herself again, then decided to understand her surroundings. She raised her head, and her mouth promptly fell open.

She was in the middle of one of the largest, darkest rooms she'd ever seen. Although she could make out a wall and steps leading up to a chair in front of her, to both sides enormous pillars of black ice stretched to a ceiling that was unimaginably high. On each pillar was a small torch, all burning with gas-blue flames. They offered barely enough illumination for her to see herself and what seemed to be her shadow, but it was hard to tell due to the floor being so very black.

What seemed to be the most frightening revelation was the fact that she could sense no astral form here. This place, this unreal room, was on earth. But where in the world could something like this exist?

"...drop her like that?"

A voice. A female voice. It cut through the silence like a sharp knife, and the princess jumped a little, then turned to see two forms a few feet behind her.

"I couldn't help it." A male voice, smile audible, replied to his companion. "I've been carrying her so long; my arms must've given out. And it wasn't really dropping her. I just set her down with less dignity and comfort than I could have."

"If you damaged her in any way, Master will-she's awake."

Amelia swallowed hard as the two forms stepped closer. Grau and Grou, now in their gray robes of the dark priesthood looked down at her unfeelingly. Then Grau smiled.

"Good day, princess. Did you have a nice nap?"

Danger and fear surged within Amelia as she spoke, and her mind supplied the memory of the strange woman's hand on her wrist, squeezing it, as her partner held her shoulders.

"Where am I?"she inquired, her voice barely a squeak.

"Home."Grou supplied, cocking his head to one side. She noticed he was holding that dreadful sword again, and shuddered.

"Right."Amelia shut her eyes and nodded slowly. "The north."

Carefully, she tried to stand up, but the surface beneath her was so slippery that her legs gave out right away. Grau surveyed without offering to help, and Grou snickered a little.

"You'll get used to that. You'll have to."

Now Amelia felt something new take hold of her. They were laughing at her. These people had lied to her, hurt her, and now they were laughing at her. A hero of justice was not going to stand for something like this.

"I don't know what you're talking about."Amelia brought out her best court tone. "I demand that you take me back to Seyruun at once or-"

"Or what?"

The voice that suddenly filled the room sent violent shivers down her spine. Only barely noticing that the two priests had each dropped to a knee, Amelia looked around again, feeling the blood drain from her face. A shadow had risen against the wall where the throne was placed, darker than everything else around it. But it wasn't an ordinary shadow; no, it was the most impossible shadow she'd ever seen. It shifted and moved the way the hideous sword had, and as she watched it seemed to reach towards her, blurring, twisting, dancing evilly... until it condensed into the form of a young man.

He didn't look much older than Zelgadis, but there were many years and a great deal of maliciousness in the gray eyes that flashed beneath his dark bangs. Moving effortlessly across the ice, he carried himself with an air of great superiority, and Amelia shrank back as he came closer, both from that aura and the sudden drop in temperature that came with him. As he stood before her he smirked, but there was no good humor behind the action.

"Princess Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun."Dynast dropped a short, mocking bow. "It's an honor to finally meet you."

Dumbly, she stared at him. He was very handsome, but there was something so...impossibly wrong about him. He raised an eyebrow, then offered his hand. She stared at that too, completely baffled as to what to make of this man.

"Take it. Stand up."

Still uncertain, but faced with no other course of action, Amelia took his blue-gloved hand and pulled herself to her feet. She slipped a little, but hands were suddenly on her, making sure she didn't fall in the master's presence. The menacing gray eyes slicked over her as he let go.

"I thought you'd be a little taller."Dynast folded his arms across his chest. "But you'll do." When she didn't respond even to that, he sighed, exasperated. "And I was prepared for a big justice speech. My, you're disappointing."

"What?" it spilled out accidentally; she'd really meant to say something more intelligent.

"So you can speak. Good."the gray seemed to burn with an inner fire. "You had me worried. I was afraid you'd gone mute since I last checked on you."

"Who...?" Through the lingering pain, she cursed her brain for supplying her with only these stupid one-word sentences.

"Oh, right. Where are my manners?" reaching forward, he placed his fingertips on her jawbone, and turned her face this way and that, studying her further. "I am Dynast Grausherra, Supreme King of the North, and companion to-"

Dynast...Supreme King...Those three words were enough to get Amelia's mind back on track and running through information at a high speed. Dynast...Dynast Bras...Supreme King with the frozen soul..._Mazoku_. One of the trusted minions of-

"Shabranigdo."she whispered, saying the name for him.

"You remember then." the Dark Lord gave her a lopsided grin. "That makes things a lot easier."

Everything that was Amelia, Defender of Justice, suddenly kicked into action. Biting back the pain inside her, she wrenched her head away and skidded back a step. Grau and Grou made motions to grab her, but Dynast, not fazed at all, merely said "Don't bother." He moved close again. "It's good to see you're back to yourself. I was starting to think that I had the wrong girl."

"What are you talking about?!" she asked as she moved back another step, fighting for her footing.

"If you'd give me a moment, I'd explain."

"Villains have no right to explain!"she struck a triumphant pose and pointed at him; the action comforted her a great deal, and she was finally beginning to feel like herself. "I know what you are, Grausherra-san. And I demand that you either make your point quickly and take me home or face the wrath of Lina Inverse and..."

Dynast looked at her a moment, then started to laugh.

"You have no idea how far from Seyruun you are, do you?"

"Uh..."Amelia's hand wavered a moment, but soon it was right back up where it had been before. "That doesn't matter! You'll get me home, or-"

"And Lina Inverse?"the grin was now vicious and dark. "She has no idea where you are! What makes you think she'd come for you before I-"

"Lina-san is a true Hero of Justice, and if you think that she would abandon-"

"-Before I do something like this!" his grin vanishing, Dynast snapped his fingers.

She was on the ground in an instant, lightning strikes of pure agony shooting through her. She cried out and curled into a ball, wishing for anything in the world to stop this...this... Before she could come up with a suitable description, it was gone, leaving her gasping.

"I was really hoping I wouldn't have to do that, but knowing you, I should had been expecting it."

Amelia raised her head and glared at him through the tears that had welled up.

"What...are you...talking about?"

"Are you willing to let me talk now? Wonderful." Dynast's smug grin returned. "Admittedly Princess, you've probably never even considered me except when someone uses one of my spells. And that's fine. I prefer to be left alone. But I know you. I've been watching you since you met up with Lina Inverse, and I must say, your...abilities attracted me immediately."

"I..."

"Let me finish. Yes, Lina Inverse is much more powerful than you are, but you have to understand that she just won't do for what I have in mind. It's not really even your magic that I want you for, but more because of the potential you haven't yet exercised. You see, I'm without my general right now. My previous one was killed, and as a price for her failure, I chose not to resurrect her. I've been looking for someone to fill her place, and I came to the conclusion that you were going to be it."

"I'll never be a Mazoku."she declared firmly, despite her general feeling of weakness.

"Wait," he held up a hand and locked his eyes with hers. "Hear me out. I figured you would feel this way. And even though I know how much you dislike weapons, I sent Grau and Grou in hopes that perhaps seeing Dolgofar would change your mind. I know you like power, even if it is dark. After all, you spent so much energy trying to learn the Dragon Slave..." he knelt down in front of her. "You have a lot of energy, Princess, and recently, much of it has been channeled into dark feelings. You're relatively unaware of this, of course, but I've been observing you through your whole ordeal. I know that man you love hurt you. I know you feel betrayed not only by him, but by the lords of your kingdom, and your own father. You've been keeping everything inside for a long while now, and whether you like it or not, you have a dark side that's been continually growing." His face was very close to hers. "I know that if you harnessed that power, you could be a great help to the Mazoku race. Now, what do you say?"

"Life. Is. Wonderful."

Dynast recoiled sharply, then with a glare, snapped his fingers again. Once more she was over come by torture, and it lasted longer this time before it ceased, leaving her a sobbing pile on the floor.

"You have no idea what I'm offering you." taking the sword from Grou, he unsheathed it and pointed it at her face, mere inches from her nose. "This sword is greater than any spell you've ever learned, and yet you'll throw it away."

"I won't be a Mazoku!"she cried again, scooting away from it. She grit her teeth, expecting the pain to return and destroy her, but to her surprise, Dynast merely shrugged and slid the sword back into its scabbard.

"I knew this would be difficult, but I didn't know you'd be so irritating."he tossed his head a little, then scowled. "It seems you also don't know the things I'm capable of doing to you to get what I want. But," he paused to smooth his tunic. "I'm a fair man. I'll give you a bit of a break."

Amelia found herself being hoisted to her feet, Grau and Grou on either arm once more.

"Let go of me!"she struggled against them to no avail. "LET GO! RAY-WING!"

The sound of her voice bounced through the hall but nothing happened. Her eyes widened as she repeated the spell again and again, each time yielding no success.

"What you have to understand, Princess,"Dynast gave her a look that might have been handsome if not for the obvious spitefulness contained within it. "Is that when I said I know you, I meant it. I know you, the way you'll try to escape. Don't even try; you'll fail miserably."

"No, I-"

"Enough." he waved his hand and spun around, starting to walk away. "Take her to the room." He took a moment to turn and walk backwards, eyes piercing points of light as he began to sink into the darkness. "I'll give you a while to think it over. Give me the right answer, or I'll take what I want on my terms."

Without further ado, Amelia was dragged down a corridor, kicking and shrieking the whole way. Dynast watched with a smirk. She had so much energy and life. Breaking her was going to be fun.

-------

Thrust into a room suddenly, Amelia stumbled and fell, sliding a little short ways on the slick floor. She looked over her shoulder to see the door closing, and standing up quickly, lunged for it. But she was too late, and it closed with a heavy sound as she landed against the black wood. Not willing to give up, she pushed at it and pounded on it.

"Let me out of here!"

Stepping back, she aimed her palms at it.

"DAMU BRAS!"

The spell crashed into the door, but it didn't budge. As she examined it, she found it wasn't even vaguely scratched. It was shut and she was trapped.

Dropping to her knees, she clenched her fists in her skirts and tried to hold back the sobs that were rising again in her chest. Crying wasn't going to help now. She needed to calm down and think.

Lina. What would Lina do in a time like this? She wouldn't cry about it, that was for sure. No, she'd try a spell. The Dragon Slave, probably, and if that didn't work, she'd Ragna Blade her way out. And she'd do it without getting over-emotional.

Except, Amelia considered bitterly, Lina had never taught her the Dragon Slave, and there was no way she could pull off a dark spell like the Ragna Blade without losing control of it. That option was out, as was the possibility of using her own spells; it had already been proven that her magic had no affect here.

So what else was left?

"Find a door, or another exit," Lina would say. _Right, _she told herself. Rising slowly so as not to skid again, she took a look around.

The room was as dark as the other had been, lit only by the same blue torches she'd seen before. There was little furnishing at all save for a large bed in the center of the room. The sheets looked to be a kind of dark satin, and to go and lay her sore body on it was a very tempting thought. But if she did, she might fall asleep, and then she'd lose her chance.

Turning a little more, her heart jumped suddenly as she realized that some of the peculiar-shaped shadows along the farthest wall were caused by thick drapes. Drapes meant a window, and a window meant a way out! Hiking up her skirts, she made her way over as swiftly as she dared, and tore open the thick curtains excitedly. That emotion turned to horror in a flash as she saw what was outside the room.

White. Miles and miles and miles of white ground, white snow whirling through the air, white mountains of jagged ice tearing at the stormy sky. Reaching a hand toward the glass pane, she brushed it with her fingertips and drew back- it was so cold it burned her. As she stared out, she could hear the wind pick up until it became a roar, slapping hard chunks of frozen water at the window as if trying to break in.

Amelia felt herself draw a shaking breath as she recalled something else. Dynast was the one called on for the Dynast Bras spell. Another spell called on the Supreme King with the frozen soul- the Dynast Breath. They both came from the same person, and he, in turn, came from...

"The frozen north. Of course."she couldn't even hear the words as she spoke them, but their meaning went straight to her heart.

So that's where she was. That's what he'd meant by her being farther than she imagined from Seyruun. It was several months' journey from her home to the edge of the continent, not to mention the vast amount of water that had to be crossed. Moving numbly back to the bed, she sat down, eyes still focused out the window.

Her hand fell on something next to her, and she pulled it back quickly, finally tearing her eyes from the storm to see what it was. It was the awful sword they kept forcing on her...What was it doing here?! With a small cry she struck it off the bed, and it clattered loudly to the floor. Amelia gripped the sheets where it had lain tightly for a moment before everything inside her collapsed and she began to sob again.

What the hell was she doing here? She had nowhere near the magical abilities of Lina! And that...that thing! That thing that didn't deserve to exist! That black object that taunted her even now on the ground. She never touched swords. She _never_ touched swords! She hated them! How did Dynast expect her to wield one when she'd sworn never to hold one in combat? How could he make her that offer, to turn a heart so dedicated to justice into pure evil? How could he have been so stupid as to have picked her?

But as she curled up on the sheets, she had to stop and amend her last thought. No, he wasn't stupid. He was brilliant. He was completely right about her having been in a dark mood-it had been the blackest she'd ever felt. He'd perfectly planned out what spells she might use - as well as which ones she didn't know- and blocked her from casting them. And he'd brought her here to this place, this god-forsaken place, from which there was no real escape. She knew a solo Ray-Wing would never carry her through the storm; she'd die out there in the snow, where no one would ever find her. Not that anyone would ever find her anyway. Hundreds, maybe thousands of miles from home? Nobody would think to look here in a million years. She was as good as dead.

Amelia cried until there were no tears left in her body, no way on earth she could have managed to sob one more time, and then she crawled under the sheets, pulling them tightly around her. She was exhausted, and now it didn't really matter whether she slept or not.

Completely alone, she tried to comfort herself with thoughts of how she and her friends had overcome worse situations than this before. There was always some way. There had to be something she could do. She couldn't lose hope yet.

For a moment, her mind drifted to Zelgadis, and she imagined waking up from this nightmare enclosed in his arms. Then, feeling the familiar pain clench within, she shoved his image aside and let the void of sleep embrace her instead.


	6. 5 Tutti Che Valga All She Was Worth

Whoa, watch the hell out, this one is huge. What was I thinking? I hope no one falls asleep and drools into their keyboard, because that shorts stuff out, and they you have to hold it upside down for a while... One day more.

Klutz82 - They're getting there...they're getting there...

Genrao-A - Okay. That makes more sense. But...then...do you all sit around and read it together or...you know, never mind. It'll be a mystery. :) Five in one works for me! Here is more for you.

Hoshi-chan1 - You're too kind. blushblush

Xoni Newcomer - You really like him? I'm glad - Dynast is really important to me, so I tried very hard to get him right. He's very elegant and classy - I love your piano wire/machine gun comparison. Amelia is my favorite too, so there's nothing weird about that. I may e-mail you to talk more about Dynast, and...uh...yes I do have...fanart on DA. Not specifically for this, but there is Dynast involved... Whether it's good or not is kind of subjective...

-------

Part V- Tutti Che Valga (_All She Was Worth_)

"_I'm imagining your shape,  
every angle, every plane...  
I'm imagining the way you smell  
and the way you say my name..."  
-"Every Angle", Ani DiFranco_

-------

"I don't care if you searched the north-east corner four times!" Crown Prince Philionel El de Seyruun slammed his fist on the table, causing Captain Timathi Quenith of the Royal Guard to jump. "Search it every hour if you have to! I want my daughter found!"

The young man swallowed hard and looked as if he wanted to crawl under the table and hide forever.

"My lord, I assure you, we've combed every inch of-"

"I DON'T CARE! LOOK AGAIN!"

"Yes my lord!"Captain Quenith squeaked, then practically dashed out the door. For a moment he could be heard calling orders down the halls .

"Now..."Phil turned to the other side of the table and other man seated there. "Have you assembled your forces?"

"We have sir." Seth Beryl, Commander of Seyruun's cavalry, dropped his head, not only to show respect for the Prince, but also to shelter the fact the he was scared out of his mind. Prince Phil may have been a pacifist, but there was no telling what he might do when he was this angry. "I'll have riders going out from every corner of the city as soon as I give word. If she, or in the case of a kidnaping, her captors, are on horseback, my men will be able to catch up to them, no matter how many days head start they have."

"Good. Go to it."Phil waved him out.

Once he was gone too, the Prince turned to the random assortment of other guards and servants.

"I want every one of you to go to the gates and find information on any suspicious looking traders, merchants, civilians, or whatever that have come into the city in the past two days."

Each of them bowed before dashing out the door. After watching them all disappear, Phil sank down in his chair and held his head in his hands.

"This is my fault."he said quietly. "She's run away, and it's my fault."

"Your highness, do you honestly think Amelia would run away?"

Phil looked up at the incredulous voice. Lina was seated at the opposite end of the table, arms folded across her chest. Gourry was next to her, and Zel leaned against the far wall.

"Do you have another idea, Lina Inverse?"

"Only one you've already thought of. At this point, I really think we can rule out anything except kidnaping. You should know your daughter's justice sense is way too powerful for her to get up and leave her post like that, no matter how much pressure she was under."

"Gracia did that."

"Gracia and Amelia were obviously very different people."

"You don't understand." Phil shook his head. "She's completely changed recently. Since she got back from the last trip she took with you..."

"She's been under pressure to pick a suitor." Lina nodded. "I know."

"It's been awfully hard for her. The council has been very adamant..._I've_ been very adamant. I think I've been the worst of all."

"That isn't important now. What's important is finding her. You can blame whatever you want when we get her back, but keep doing your job until then."

"What if she's dead?" he asked quietly.

"She isn't dead." Lina's voice was firm. "She'd never die so easily."

"But Lina, if she was kidnaped..." Gourry gently broke in.

"Then she would have fought them off."she said to her lover through clenched teeth. "She's a strong little girl."

"What if they surprised her and she couldn't fight back?"

The red-headed sorceress gave him a look that shut him up immediately before turning back to Phil.

"I will give you my word that Amelia isn't dead, and that we will find her and bring her back."

"What if a Mazoku took her?"

All eyes moved to the rear of the room from whence Zel's voice had come.

"Mazoku?" Phil's voice trembled slightly. "You don't think..."

He shrugged.

"It's a possibility. I thought I'd throw it out there."

"What would a Mazoku want with Amelia?" Gourry looked at him strangely.

"I don't know. Maybe one of them wants to marry her too."

The statement hung in the air for a moment, then Lina stood up.

"Excuse us, your majesty. Zel and I need to have a few words."

She stomped back to Zel, grabbed him by the arm, and bodily dragged him out of the room, Gourry close on their heels.

-------

"What do you know?!"

Zel stumbled forward a few steps towards the veranda's railing as Lina pushed him. She was up in his face within a moment, her bright eyes burning.

"You're keeping something from us, Zel, and you have been these past few days. You know something about what happened to Amelia. Spit it out."

"I don't know anything about it." He shoved her away and turned his back to her.

"Like hell you don't! What was that Mazoku crack back there?!"

"It was just a suggestion. Xellos was taking a lot of interest in her. I can't explain it."

"Xellos?!"

"Yes. They were dancing."

Lina stewed for a minute, then let out another yell that echoed across the gardens below.

"HOW COULD YOU LET XELLOS DANCE WITH HER?!"

"I have no control over what she does. She'll dance with who she wants to dance with."

"Then why were you so set on going after her when she was dancing with that prince?" Gourry asked.

Zel froze, and felt his cheeks flush.

"I...it wasn't right for him to be touching her like that in public. I didn't want her embarrassed."

Lina looked back and forth between the two, puzzled and increasingly irritated. She sighed raggedly, and placed her hand on her forehead. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

"Zel...start from the beginning. Just tell me what happened that night. That's all I ask."

"Nothing happened. I went out there, got his hands off her, found out she was dancing with Xellos, broke them up and...then these two people came up and asked to see her alone and they went."

"Two people? Who were they?"

"Some nobles from the north with a matter of state they wanted to discuss. The woman..." his brow furrowed as he remembered, "Come to think of it, she was kind of strange. She had a huge sense of power around her. So did her companion. And it actually got a little colder when they were around." Zel thought for a moment. "Probably just my imagination."

"And you let her go off with these people? What were you thinking?"

"My going with her would not have been appropriate at that time, Lina." he sneered. "Amelia was not very happy with me at that moment. She and I...had a fight."

"What?" his friends chorused.

He moved uncomfortably under their gaze.

"Well, it wasn't so much that we had a fight as she got very angry at me."

"Why?"

"For not loving her."

Lina's mouth dropped open.

"Buh?"

"She went through this whole long speech about how awful it was picking a suitor, and how I wasn't there for her. Something like that." Zel didn't feel like saying anymore about it. Of course, he knew every word she'd said by heart, but repeating them would be too painful.

"Well. It's good to know she finally got it right."

The chimera glared at her.

"Excuse me, Lina Inverse?"

"I said she got it right. You've never been there for her. I keep telling you this. You already know it too. She was in love with you, and you ignored that."

"Oh I did not." Zel said, even as he knew he was lying. "I wasn't interested in her and you know it. I've told you before, and I'll tell you as many times as it takes to get it through your thick skull! I don't...I don't love..." his tongue stumbled over the words, and it took him by surprise. Turning from them again, he simply said. "I didn't feel the same way."

"You lie."

"I am not lying!"

"Face up and accept it!" Lina grabbed his cape and pulled on it. He turned and yanked it back quickly, but not soon enough to prevent her from grabbing his collar and pulling their faces close together. "Maybe you don't love her, but I know you care about her. You can deny it to high heaven or hell, but I know. And you should figure it out for yourself so you can apologize to her for how you hurt her when she comes home."

"Let go before I hurt _you_."he growled.

"You. Wouldn't. Dare."

"You two..."Gourry touched each of their shoulders and tried to pull them apart. Simultaneously they pushed him away.

"Stay out of this, Gourry!"Zel stared into Lina's eyes trying to make her back down.

"I can't believe you."she practically spat at him. "What will it take to make you see for yourself how stupid you're being? Will she have to die before you figure out you like her?"

"Let GO!"

"FINE!"she loosened her hold they stepped apart, Lina's breath coming quickly and her eyes trained on Zel. Gourry, worried that she might cast a spell at him, stepped behind her, ready to hold her back. "Fine, be an asshole about it. Let her marry someone she doesn't love! Just keep hurting her if that's all she was worth to you! And I can't believe that you would let her go off with some strangers like that! Did you even know where they were from?!"

"The north. That's all they said."

"North. Good. Tomorrow morning, that's the direction we'll be heading. And you're going to be in the lead."

"I refuse."

"Don't you DARE try to refuse me, Zelgadis Graywords! This is your fault! You're going to get her back!"

"If she's alive she'll come back on her own!"he snapped at her. "And if she's dead then what's the use?"

"She isn't dead!" Taking yet another deep breath to try and calm herself, she stood tall and pressed down the folds in her tunic. "She isn't dead, and we are going to bring her home."

"You can. I'm not interested."

"You can and you will."

"You have no say over my actions, Lina. I say I'm not going and that means I am not going." Saying only that, Zel spun on his heel and strode away.

"Come back here you stubborn ass!"

"Lina, Lina, calm down..."

The fireball that came next crashed harmlessly against Zel's already-prepared shield, resulting in only a few smalls fires starting in the topiary. The chimera kept walking.

-------

It was already close to dawn before Captain Quenith's troops returned with no further luck. The inquiries at the gates had been fairly unhelpful as well, and with each moment, Phil was reaching towards an almost completely frantic state. The whole castle was still in an uproar, and Gourry would have sworn that not a single inhabitant was asleep despite the early hour. How could anyone sleep with all the noise? Well, besides Lina, that was. She had been so riled up after her argument with Zel that he had forced her to lie down. She finally agreed after a little bit , and was still snoring peacefully on the swordsman's side of the bed when he'd gotten fed up with the commotion and given up on rest. That left him with little to do before breakfast but to go and check on their friend. Gourry had some hope in the back of his mind that Zel might listen to him, seeing as he wasn't as loud or as overbearing as the sorceress. As he reached the room, he gently tapped on the door even though it was open, watching as Zel dug through his belongings furiously. The room was in an awful state of disarray, and Zel himself looked fairly out of sorts.

"Hey Zel. What are you looking for?"

Zel didn't answer, but sifted through his pack angrily, finally turning it upside down and dumping everything out on the bed. He scanned each object, then declared "Shit!"

"Er, is this a bad time?"

"Yes, Gourry, it's a spectacularly bad time."Zel scowled and dropped to his knees to look under the bed for whatever it was he'd lost. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see if you were alright."Gourry walked over and squatted down beside his friend, peering under the bed. "Do you want some help? What did you lose?"

Jumping to his feet, the chimera kicked the bed then walked over and started patting down his cloak.

"The bracelet Amelia gave me after the battle with Dark Star. I had it hanging on my water bottle and now it's gone."

"Well is it really gone, or just misplaced?"

"I don't know! It's just not here, alright?"he stalked over to a chair and slumped down into it, folding his arms across his chest. "Is Lina still mad at me?"

"Very."Gourry pulled up a chair in front of his friend and sat on it backwards. "I'd stay out of her way if I were you. And I have to say I'm not too happy with you either. Zel,"his blue eyes were very serious, and the chimera knew that meant business. "How can you just leave Amelia alone out there?"

"How many times do I have to say this? She'll make it back if she's alive, and if she's dead, then there's no point."

"She's isn't dead, Zel. And even if she was, don't you think she deserves to be brought home and buried here?"

"Her father can do it."

"Don't you think you owe it to her as her friend? If Lina Inverse, Lina Inverse the Dragon Spooker, the Bandit Killer, Enemy of All Who Live, will go out and search for a little lost princess...why can't you? Why won't you?"

"Lina and I are two very different people. She can look for Amelia. I'll bet she'll find her too. No need for me to come."

"Zel...why do you have to fight it every step of the way?"

"Fight what?"

"You know what I mean."

"Oh, do tell Gourry."Zel scowled. "I don't think you should be trying to counsel me on feelings when it took you almost four years to finally admit to Lina how you felt."

Gourry was taken aback. Sure, Zel had been rude to him in the past, but never like this. He stood up and locked his eyes on the chimera, trying to control the level of anger in his voice as he moved closer.

"I can't believe that this is all there is to you. I never thought you could be so stubborn that you won't even listen to yourself and the people who care about you. Dammit, Amelia was in love with you. It wasn't some childish crush or idolization, she loved you. And stupid me,"he accentuated "stupid" to make the word harder. "I thought you cared the slightest bit about her. Well."he stood tall, making an imposing figure. "I thought you were something more that this. But maybe you are just made of stone."

Zel didn't answer, just took his words with a cold stare and without batting an eye. When the swordsman was finished, he stood too, and saying "Maybe I am," turned and walked from the room. Behind him, Gourry let out a breath and sank down into the abandoned chair. Following Zel would just lead to another fight. Maybe he'd be saved some trouble and Zel would figure things out on his own.

-------

There were so many hallways that looked the same, Zel mused as he walked through the palace. How could anyone find their way around this place without getting lost? Of course, Amelia had grown up here, so she-

He froze at the thought. Amelia. Shaking his head, he set his jaw and continued walking.

Screw Lina. Screw Gourry. They didn't need to understand his motives. It was better if they didn't. They could go off and look for her. Slowing for a moment, he wondered just what it was inside that had made him so defensive when talking with Lina. He shouted in her face that he wasn't going to look for a girl who was one of his few friends. Why had he done that? Was it really just because he wanted to hold up the image of being untouchable? Or was it something else? A sense of...guilt, perhaps? Lina had shouted at him that it was his fault. Could it be that he just didn't want to face Amelia? To look into those eyes again and feel that pain, that...

"Shit!"he said loudly, clenching his hand tightly around the edge of his cape to keep from striking at the wall.

She wasn't his responsibility anymore. She had a fiancee. She'd picked him herself. She had someone who would... Well...like Lina said, marry her, if not love her. Zel felt his heart begin to hurt when he thought of that. The idea of Amelia trapped in a loveless marriage of state was almost too much to bear.

"So then why," Lina's voice echoed in his head. "Didn't you do anything about it?"

"Because I..."he started to say, then found himself at a junction in the hallways. Straight ahead and to his left, the castle continued on. To his right, however, he found a door with a small, carefully engraved sign: "Princess Amelia."

He stared at it, wondering how in the world he'd ended up right here, in front of this door. His hand moved as if with a life of its own and slowly turned the knob.

_What am I doing?! _His mind screamed. _I have no right to go in here!_

But the door was already swinging open, and, taking a look around to make sure no one was watching, he stepped inside.

Pale blue walls greeted him, as he moved his eyes around, taking in the large armoire, the desk and mirror with an ornate frame, the bookcase with every shelf filled. A large canopy bed dominated the center of the room, and on its left side was a small table. Sitting on that was a bouquet of white roses.

Feeling a little bit like a trespasser, Zel pushed the door closed behind him. Once it was out of the way, he noticed a coat tree, and hanging on it, her white and purple cape. He walked over to it, and again, as if his hands didn't want to obey him, they gathered it up, feeling the texture of it. He raised it to it's face and found it still carried her smell with it- something sharp and clear, yet sweet. Mint, perhaps. For a moment, he let himself bury his face in it, closing his eyes, losing himself to the essence of Ame-

No. He dropped it suddenly and moved away, shocked at the way his senses were running away with him. This wasn't a time to get sentimental. He shouldn't even be in here! And yet he wandered over to her desk and vanity, pulled out the chair, and sat down, looking over piles of letters. Interspersed in the mess were various jewelry affects, bottles of expensive perfume and lotion. He smiled a little as he picked one up.

"Passion rose,"he smirked as he read the scent.

Setting it down, he began to look through the letters. One on the very top was from Lina, detailing where she and Gourry had been. Already knowing that story, Zel shuffled through the rest of them, and felt his body grow cold when he realized what they were.

Most of them were from princes. From princes, from kingdoms, from duchies...Appeals to her for her hand in marriage. It was time, wasn't it? She needed to make a choice. There was even one from the court masters of Seyruun, reminding her in overly fancy language that she needed to pick a suitor, or one would be chosen for her.

He scanned the letters with growing irritation. Some of them seemed decent, but others were full of self importance. And not a single one was right for her. Fishing? Not at all, that wasn't her. Horsemanship?

"Che. What crap,"he rolled his eyes. That would never suit Amelia.

He gaped a little at one of them; the idiot was opposed to sorcery! How could he expect to win the hand of a princess who was a powerful spell-caster? A young woman who could pull off...

"The Rah-Tilt."

And just saying the words reminded him of the first time they'd ever cast it together- an accident, really, during the fight with Copy Rezo and Zanaffar. He remembered the look they shared, and how he felt his heart jump startlingly as he tried to accept that the small girl beside him could hold so much power.

Except...that power was gone now. Removed suddenly and out of his grasp as quickly as he'd come to realize that part of that power was the allure she had over him. He ran his mind back over the instant when she'd said...when she'd said that horrible thing. The words she should have said, the words he knew he deserved...the words that hurt like nothing in the world. The words that wouldn't leave him alone.

He stood slowly, and one of stacks of precariously balanced papers slid off the desk. He bent down with a small curse to pick them up, and as he did so, noticed a bracelet on the floor as well- the companion to the one she'd given him. Zel reached out and picked it up, feeling its familiar weight as he returned the papers to her desk, then resumed his full height.

It was pink, just like the other, with a cobalt sphere that always sat on the top of her wrist. The chimera walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, turning the bracelet in his hands. It was such a simple thing... What she wore had never betrayed her true identity as a princess. When she was out with her friends, she was just a person. Just a girl.

_Is that all she was worth to you? _a voice inside him asked, repeating Lina's words. He'd been telling himself that Amelia was "just a girl" quite a lot recently. Was that really what he felt?

Before he could analyze that thought more deeply, something on the bedside table caught his eye. He carefully picked it up; it was a little portrait of Amelia and her father, probably done quite recently. She was wearing her pink dress, the one she'd worn when they met again before traveling into the lands outside the barrier, and her smile sparkled as it ever had. Lightly, he ran his fingers over her image, looking into those deep blue eyes... He felt his heart squeeze uncomfortably for a moment. The last time they'd spoken, those eyes were angry and full of tears. And the voice, the sweet voice that always sounded so happy as she called to him...that voice had choked on "Zelgadis-san" and made it into a curse.

Gently setting the portrait down again, he picked up two more papers, and with growing unease began to read the top one. It extolled the virtues of Arret, Prince of Tiolas. He liked to read, and was a good swordsman. He didn't know magic, but he was trying to learn- he wanted to be a shamanist. There was even a little sketch of the young man himself, very well done, in the lower right hand corner. He was certainly good-looking.

It took a moment before the name stuck, but within an instant Zel realized that this was him. This was her fiancee.

Unable to look at the words anymore, he put that paper aside on the bed, and stared down at the other one, recognizing the handwriting all too well.

The paper was crumpled and torn, as if it had been balled up and then unfolded many times. In some places, the words were smeared; it looked like tears had tried to erase them .

It was his own letter. The only letter he'd written her, shortly after they'd parted ways with Filia. Swallowing through a throat that suddenly felt very tight, he scanned it and saw it wasn't even half a page long.

As if that couldn't be enough, one more thing had to make itself known. Glancing away, he noticed one more thing on the bedside table: a little black velvet box.

With a hand that shook almost imperceptibly, he picked it up. This was the box to her engagement ring. This was the box that sealed her fate. He opened it slowly, praying, praying to everything that maybe the ring was...

It was empty.

"So."he said to himself, forcing the words out. "Wherever she is...she's still wearing the ring."

It was too much.

He snapped the box shut and hurled it at the wall, watching it bounce to the floor unharmed. His fist tightened around the bracelet and several things that had been waiting in the back of his mind finally stepped forward.

He had lost the mate to this piece of jewelry. He had lost the only thing he'd ever willingly accepted from her, a gift that was very important to the princess. But he hadn't cared enough about it. He'd lost it, and pushed her away with shallow letters of no substance.

And he hadn't expected to lose her; he'd taken for granted that she would always be there, waiting for him. But he'd lost her to this man, this Arret, this person she didn't even know. She was wearing his ring. His ring and not the bracelet that she'd shared with Zel. How could she? How could she just give up on him like that?! How could she just disappear right after she'd said all those awful things and...

Why hadn't he tried to stop her? Yes, he'd gone after her...for a moment. Then he'd given up and just let her walk away with those people, probably the people who had taken her. He'd given up. And it wasn't fair of him to berate her for doing the same thing. He deserved to be left like that, but she didn't.

Except...except what if she was dead? Sighing heavily, Zel scooted back on the bed and lay down, folding his arms across his chest. If she was dead then they'd find her sooner or later, right? And if her body was recovered...he didn't really want to be the one doing it. Oh, sure, she was strong and could defend herself, but Gourry had raised a good point: What if she'd been surprised and had no time?

What if she was dead and they never got a chance to speak again?

The chimera felt his breath catch in his throat. What if? Then the last words they'd ever spoken would have been at the party. If that was true, and there hadn't even been a goodbye between them... There would never be a chance for them to fix things, to talk, to figure out...

_Is that all she was worth to you?_

Zel forcibly tore his thoughts away from that place. His eyes felt very heavy -well, he _had_ been up all night looking for that damned bracelet- and he decided to shut them for a moment. The bed was comfortable against his back, and as his tiredness overcame him, the last thing he wondered was if this was the side of the bed Amelia slept on.


	7. 6 Divinity of Hell

I go to school in Ohio. The guilt is like a ton of bricks. No more on that. Things should start picking up now, thanks for all the reviews!

Klutz82 - Lina's not gonna let him get away so easily. ;) And yeah, little by little...  
Gerao-A - Poor Air-Jay. Carry on.  
Cookie - I'm glad you liked it! A lot of my chapters end up being really long, so I hope you feel that way about all of them. A favorite, for me? Thank yooooou!  
Iris - More angst than you can possibly believe. I'm so glad you like it so much! :)

-------

Part VI - Divinity of Hell

"_Oh, I'd be perfectly happy to ruin you. In fact I was just about to ask."  
-Effigy_

-------

The door was open.

Amelia squeezed her eyes shut again as she raised her head, then opened them to find it was true- the door to her room was open.

Sitting up, things slowly filtered back to her. She glanced down at the sharp contrast between the black sheets and her white dress, and then she looked over at the window. She could see nothing now; it was pitch black outside, and the wind had died down. How long had she been asleep?

_Never mind that, _she told herself. The door was open. She had her exit.

Swinging her legs off the bed, she stood up and took a few steps toward it. A tapping sound went with her and she paused, looking down at her shoes. They were loud, and would certainly give her away. Slipping them off, she touched her feet to the floor and tried in vain to contain a gasp. She'd forgotten the floor was ice, and her toes were numb almost instantly. Biting back the discomfort, she started again for the door. If she could get out, then the cold was worth it.

The princess leaned out into the dark hall and looked both directions to make sure no one was around. She was alone, but now which way to go? She remembered once hearing something about the way one would make it out of a labyrinth or maze.

"Keep your hand on the right wall, and eventually you'll get out." she said as she did so, immediately thankful for the minor protection her thin gloves gave her against the chill.

She moved slowly down the corridor, keeping an eye out for any strange movement about her. Several times she started at shadows cast by the blue torches, but they seemed to be merely tricks of light, and not servants of the shadow king himself. As she walked, she tried to formulate what she would do when she left.

While it was true that a on-person Ray-Wing wouldn't carry her through a storm, if the wind had diminished, she had a pretty good chance if she moved fast. And sure, she could even try to go through a blizzard. Perhaps it would work. She couldn't let herself give up so easily. Any tiny bit of luck could help her, get her home, but losing hope would take her nowhere. It was a matter of staying the right frame of mind. She was going to be strong.

Lina would be so proud when she returned. Gourry would be duly impressed and Zelgadis...He would...

"And where might we be going, Princess?"

Amelia yelped as her footing gave way and she dropped down. Turning around in horror, she realized her wanderings and thoughts had carried her back into the huge hall. Indeed, she'd been so wrapped up that she hadn't even noticed the man standing a few feet off to her side.

"Dynast..."

"Are we on a first name basis then? All right."he gave her another cruel smile, then looked over his shoulder. "Grou? The sword?"

Emerging from the shadows, his partner close behind, Grou handed the blade to their master, before falling into place behind him as he walked over to Amelia.

"I'm glad you happened to walk in. I was just about to send for you."

"Stay back.."she growled, pressing herself against the wall.

"What are you going to do? Throw a shoe at me?" He gestured to left hand where she held her shoes and laughed a little. "I've got nothing to worry about. You might, however. Have you come to a decision yet?"

"I told you before. I will NEVER be a Mazoku!" To punctuate her shout, she did throw one of her shoes. Dynast ducked it effortlessly, but it hit Grau in the face. She slipped and fell backward before Grou caught her.

"You little bitch..."Grau hissed at she righted herself.

Dynast gave her a look over his shoulder, and she shut up immediately. He took another step closer to Amelia.

"I'm disappointed to hear that. I was so hoping you'd change your mind. I figured once you learned where you were and how hopeless your situation was, you'd just give up. I suppose I should have known better."

"I'll never give up! You can try whatever spells, dirty tricks, mind games you want, but I know I'll get out of here. My friends will come and-"

"Tell me."he cocked his head to one side. "What is it exactly that you want to return to so badly? To the fiancee you've never met? To the friends that leave you? To the man who doesn't love you?"

Amelia tried not to flinch.

"It's still where I belong."

"You belong with that kind of pain?"he sounded so very sympathetic, but she knew it was a ploy, a sick game. "Why then you're almost one of us already, don't you think? Surrounding yourself in your unhappiness. That's really what you want?"

Amelia swallowed hard. This was no time to lose herself. Sure, it hurt to be at home sometimes, but it was where she belonged. Her friends did care about her and they would come to visit her. Her father loved her. And Zelgadis...

"Yes, that's what I want."

"Nothing I can say will change your mind? Too bad."

His shoulders relaxed a moment, and he smiled. But an instant later, his hand snaked out, grabbed her wrist and yanked her from the wall. He flung her off to the side and she landed hard, sliding several feet. She struggled to rise, or scoot back, or something, but he was bearing down on her again quickly.

"I guess I'll just have to change your mind for you."his grin got even bigger as his foot came down on her hand. She screamed and struck at his shin, but his face never changed. "You're a strong little girl, Princess. Most people would have given me what I wanted by now. Most people know better."

Amelia held onto her wrist and tried to tug it out from under his boot. Tears were already running down her face, but she wouldn't let him win this.

"I won't be a Mazoku! I love my life and you can't-"

"Your life belongs to me."he said, and suddenly she was drowning in shadow, suffocating as it reached inside her. She choked and coughed and her eyes began to burn, but the assault didn't waver. She was dimly aware Dynast was still saying something...was it to her? As she focused her ears on it, it was clear that he was chanting a spell, one she'd never heard. It seemed that his voice grew quieter...No, it wasn't quieter, it was inside her head, like a deadly whisper, trying to drive her mad.

Then it spoke two words, and everything came crashing down.

"Soul Shatter."

Pain exploded through her. From every inch of her body, shockwaves of the most perfect agony ran through every nerve, every vein. There was a tugging at her chest, as if something was being forced out, something that didn't want to go without a fight. She wanted to shout but the possibility of speaking vanished as the thing inside her was ripped away. Incoherent letters, shapes...that was all that came to mind as she screamed soundlessly. She reached for images of friends, loved ones...but she couldn't remember what they were. Less than an instant after the hole had been left inside her, something filled it. Blindly, she reached out to it, and felt a cold blade; the black sword had gone straight through her heart.

Everything that she was seemed trying to tear itself apart in a thousand different directions. If only she could make her voice work, she could cry out to...to... Gods, it was horrible. It was the sum of every wrong, painful feeling in the whole world, taking over her body, squeezing, crushing, destroying, and it would never stop, it would never stop, it would never-

-------

Heavy eyelids slowly lifted to uncover a pair of ice-blue eyes, revealing to them in turn a low ceiling and dim light. Blinking, the owner of the eyes tried to recall his whereabouts. This didn't look at all like his room. And if he'd just woken up, shouldn't it be morning?

It took a few more moments before his brain kicked in, and then Zelgadis remembered what had happened. He'd laid down on Amelia's bed to rest for a little while, and probably fallen asleep. The low ceiling was the bed's canopy, and the dim light was from the moon shining in the window- apparently, he'd slept all day.

He sat up with a start, realizing just how long he'd been in the room. Suppose someone had come in? Oh, that would have been an interesting situation. He would have had a very hard time explaining it, and the idea of having to do so wasn't a pleasant thought. Sliding off the bed quickly, Zel made his way for the door, cracking it just slightly first to make sure he was alone in the halls. No one was around, and he slipped out, but not before taking one last look into the princess's bedchamber.

Zel started down the corridors again. The ticking of a grandfather clock was the only sound besides his footsteps, and he noted the time: slightly after midnight. He cringed. Getting his sleep patterns back to normal after this was going to be a pain.

Finding another juncture in the halls, he was about to round a turn when he heard voices. Rerouting himself down the other way, he found himself stepping out onto one of the castle's balconies. Standing at the railing were two young men. Fairly bright light from the courtyard below provided good illumination, and he could see their faces pretty well: slumped over the bar, head pillowed in his arms, was Captain Quenith, and standing next to him, Commander Beryl.

The leader of the cavalry looked over his shoulder and saw Zel, smiling at him and motioning him over.

"Graywords-san. Care to join us?"

Giving a small nod, Zel walked over and stood next to the commander. He was a dashing young man with short dark hair, his bangs brush artfully to one side.

"Commander Beryl was it?"

"Just Seth, please. And this nice sozzled man to my right is Captain Quenith, or since we're being casual, just Tim." Tim gave a little wave, but continued staring into the distance. "It's nice to see you in more informal circumstances. And it's good to know that you're alive."

"Come again?"

"Ah, your friend...Inverse-san. She was storming around the castle looking for you all day. I was afraid she might have killed you."

Zel grimaced.

"Believe me, had she found me, she would have. We're having a bit of a disagreement right now."

Seth looked around, then over the edge, before leaning back and flashing his grin again.

"I think you're safe for now."

"Seth..."Tim spoke for the first time, his voice slightly muffled by his arm. "Where's the bottle?"

"At your feet, where you put it."

"Right."

Tim pushed himself up dizzily, then bent down to grab it. He was slightly taller than Seth, but looked a little younger - almost too young to be in the position of power that he was. His blonde bangs were in danger of falling into his eyes, but he made no move to change that.

He pulled the cork out of the bottle and was contemplating it when Seth suddenly grabbed it.

"I've been rude. Can I offer you a drink, Graywords-san?"

"I'll pass."

Irritated, Tim snatched the bottle back.

"You don't wanna join us in a toast to my last night on earth?"he kept his eyes on Zel as he poured himself another glass. That didn't work so well, and more of the liquid ended up on the floor than anywhere else.

"You're overreacting."Seth sighed.

"I am not! I don't find the princess soon, I'm as good as dead!"

"I really don't think you have to worry about Phil in that sense." Zel smirked at the drunken man.

"This is his daughter we're talking about."Tim sighed turning away and dangling one hand over the edge of the balcony. "And if anything happened or happens to her -Gods forbid she should die- Phil, whom everyone knows is already about twenty-seven bricks short of a load, is bound to go completely insane. I don't care if he is a pacifist. He'll come up with something nasty, and I'm gonna be the first to suffer. Hooray for being a royal guard. Whoop-de-fucking doo."

Zel raised an eyebrow as he leaned his left arm on the railing.

"Perhaps he's drunker than I thought." Seth offered.

"Wouldn't you be if you were in my situation? Put yourself in my shoes." the blond man pushed himself up again, gracefully sloshing most of the contents of his glass down into the courtyard. "Tomorrow is my wedding day."

"Congratulations." Zel said. Someone else in this damn castle getting married. Were they doing this on purpose to slight him?

"Shove it." Tim stepped forward, swaying the slightest bit. "Yeah, tomorrow is _s'posed_ to be my wedding day, but do you think I'll be walking down the aisle with the most beautiful woman in the world? No, I won't! And you wanna know why? Because I'm gonna be looking for that stupid little girl in the same fucking gutter that I've looked in five times!" stumbling towards the chimera, he grabbed Zel's collar and would have shaken him, had the difference in weight not been so extreme. The captain merely succeed in flapping Zel's shirt. "Do you hear me? I have looked in every gutter, every hole, every crack, every alley, every fucking building in this whole damn city for that girl, and there is no sign of her! Nothing! Nothing at all! Stupid little bitch, where the hell did she go?!"

More than annoyed by the drunk and his rude attitude towards Amelia, Zel placed his hand in the middle of Tim's chest and pushed. The Captain tripped back a few steps, then regained his footing...sort of.

"Don't you dare talk about this princess like that." said Zel coldly, trying to contain the rage that had surged within him.

"Tough guy, huh?" Tim brushed his hair back. "Yeah, I know you. You're one of her weird little friends that she's always running off with. You and that crazy red-haired chick who blows everything up and her dumb boyfriend. Well let me tell you, mister..." he blinked dizzily as he tried to come up with an insult. "Thing. You care about the fucking Princess?" he paused a moment and grinned raunchily. "You care about fucking the Princess? You go out and look for her."

Now it was the Chimera's turn to grab the Captain's collar and bring them eye to dangerous eye. He spoke through clenched teeth, fighing to control the impulses that said to toss the man over the balcony. "I suggest you rethink that last statement before it becomes the last thing you'll ever say."

Sighing, Seth stuck his arm between them. "Graywords-san, let him go. Tim, give it a rest."

With a great deal of contempt, Zel released Tim, and the two back away from each other.

"I can take you, stone-boy." Tim taunted. "Bring it oooonnnn..."

Seth rolled his eyes, and placing his hands on his friend's shoulders, turned him and started to push him back inside.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed. You've got to get up early tomorrow, remember?"

"Yeah..."the other man grumbled. "To get back to my gutter check."

"No, you are getting married tomorrow at eleven in the morning sharp. Now go."

Deciding resistance was futile, Tim let his shoulders sag and with a mumbled "Thanks" staggered back inside.

Shaking his head helplessly, Seth turned back to Zel. "I'm sorry about that. He-"

"He's a jerk. How did an asshole like that become captain?"

Seth gave him a distressed look.

"Please, don't say that. I know he was out of line, but he's really a good guy. Just very, very unhappy and drunk at the moment. I mean, he's going to miss his own wedding tomorrow to go on another useless search..."

"You really think it's useless?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Seth poured himself a drink and looked up at the sky. "How many days has it been? If she was here, they would've found her by now. The only option is that she's out of the city. And since my men haven't even been able to find her..."he drew his breath in through his teeth and shook his head. "This doesn't look good."

Zel looked at the commander, then turned away. He knew there was little chance she was still in Seyruun, but confirmation of the fact just made things a bit worse. And to know they hadn't found her outside the city yet...

"Have you sent people north yet?"

"Of course. I have at least two riders on all the main roads out of here, and there's a lot of trade to the north. I don't know..."he tapped his fingers on his glass. "I don't think we're going to find her."

A stab of pain went through Zel's heart.

"You sound so sure."

"I don't want it to sound that way, but... Look, I liked the princess, and I want her to come home safely, but I don't think there's much of a chance of that anymore."

"Lina's going to look for her."

"Lina? Inverse-san? I wish her the best of luck. Maybe she'll find her. I hope so. Someone should."

They stood in silence for a while, then Seth stretched tall before leaning down to pick up the bottle and the remaining glasses.

"I'm going to turn in now. I'm going out tomorrow. Are you going to stay here?"

"Yeah, I think so." Pause. "Could you leave the bottle?"

"Sure. Good night." Seth walked into the shadows of the doorway and was gone.

Zel was left alone with his thoughts and a glass of brandy again, a situation he was finding himself in more and more frequently. So nobody could find her. Every time he went over those words, they added just another twinge inside him. Where was she that no one could find her?

North. They had one clue, one direction to go.

_North. Good. Tomorrow, that's the direction we'll be heading. And you'll be in the lead._

Well, Lina had obviously not started off today if she'd been searching for Zel. The thought of facing the wrath of the sorceress was not at all appealing, and traveling at this point would be awful. If he told her he'd changed his mind, she'd be on him the whole time, telling him it was his fault, berating him for letting her go. Shit, he should just go by himself, and...

His train of thought came to a sudden halt. He could go by himself.

_Wait, Zel, slow down..._his mind said. Why was he suddenly in such a hurry to find Amelia? He'd said it once, he'd said it a thousand times. He wasn't going to look for her. But somehow, talking with Seth had changed something. He didn't want to face her, he didn't want to give in...but if, in all honesty, no one else was going to find her, then... then he'd live in this state of mind forever, listening to their last conversation for the rest of his life, slowly going insane with guilt, regret, and unrequited...

He made up his mind. Setting down his glass, he practically ran from the balcony, navigating the hallways until he reached his room. He grabbed his things and stuffed them back into his bag, then left the room and crept down the hallways. Sneaking past the night guards proved to be fairly easy for someone as skilled as he, and within a few minutes he was outside and on the city's main road, heading for the northern gates.

The chimera walked swiftly, making good time. If he kept up the pace, he figured, he'd have a good head start on Lina and Gourry, assuming they left in the morning.

About an hour's walking found him just outside the city gates. He stopped and looked down the road ahead of him. In the distance, he could see dark clouds rolling across the sky. Shifting his bag to a more comfortable position and setting his jaw, Zel started towards them.


	8. 7 Omkeer Transformation

I do not get what is going on with this site. Third try at submitting this and getting my changes to stick. Jeez. Sorry for breaking my three-day rule again. Had a bad week. I will try to be more prompt in the near future.

**Klutz82** - What's going on with Amelia indeed...all is now revealed! Well...some, at least.   
**Hoshi-chan1** - Isn't Dynast a fun puzzle? I like him. Most days. And sorry about being so slow, I will e-mail you my DA site link. Just remember that my names comes up as "Miroku." ;)   
**Xoni Newcomer** - Is just calling you Xoni from now on too familiar? And thank you for your comments. I really appreciate your honesty.**   
Gerao-A** - I'm on it, I'm on it!   
**HoushiLover** - Take as long as you need. I'll really write you back very very soon!

Wup.

-------

Part VII- Omkeer (_Transformation_)

"_I am not what I am."   
-Othello_

_------- _

_Who am I?_

_No, it's not who..._What _am I?_

_I'm not what I was before...what have I become?_

A girl sat up in a bed, rubbing at her eyes, questions blaring from every place inside her. She shivered and looked down, then grabbed the covers with a yelp, pulling them up over her chest. Someone had taken her clothes.

Clutching the black sheets against her, she looked around the room. It was unfamiliar. While the walls and huge window were remarkably similar to a room she'd been in before, there were more blue torches here, and directly across the room from her was a dresser with a mirror placed on it.

Wrapping herself in the bedclothes, she stepped onto the floor and moved effortlessly across it, recalling that it had, at one point, been very slick. Shrugging that notion off, she sat down in front of the mirror, studying the face there.

_I am Amelia...No...I _was _Amelia..._

Amelia had blue eyes, she remembered, nothing like the silver orbs that gazed back at her. And Amelia hadn't had this feeling about her, this strangeness that couldn't really be described.

"Amedyn."

Amelia, or the body that had been Amelia, turned to see a woman with black hair standing in the doorway. She carried a pile of neatly folded garments and held them out as she stepped forward.

"Repeat that."Amelia's old voice said.

"You're Amedyn now."Grau stopped before her and handed the clothing over. "Master gave you his name. Welcome to the service of the Supreme King."

"Amedyn."she tested the name as she ran her fingers along the fabric of her new vestments. "Then I'm Mazoku."

"You are." the priestess smiled a little. "How does it feel?"

"Different." The girl turned back to the mirror, meeting the gray eyes again. "I know that I...that Amelia...would never have stood for this, but I feel alright. I...I can't explain it."

"You don't have to. Get dressed, and then I'll take you to Master. He'll be very pleased."

Nodding, the girl in front of her held up the top piece of clothing- a blue coat. Underneath it was a pair of white leggings, white fingerless gloves, and a black sword belt.

"Your boots are by the bed."

"This isn't like what you're wearing."

"That's because you're the general. These were Sherra's, but now they belong to you."

"I'm the general."she said it softly, not quite believing.

"Yes. Now that we've established that, put the clothes on and let's get going. Master hates to be kept waiting." Seeing she was still unmoved, Grau pulled her up by the arm and pushed her behind an ornamental screen. She went obediently, and once behind it, dropped the sheets and started to pull on her new clothes. The leggings seemed familiar, and she distinctly recalled some powerful connection to the color white. But it didn't feel important anymore. Indeed, the time that had occurred before she had awakened seemed clouded in fog. It was unreal. Amelia had lost all meaning,

The coat came next, and she felt the blue material enfold her being, seeming to reach past her skin and become a force reaffirming her change. As each button closed it around her, an image flashed within that was quickly eradicated.

A city called Seyruun; it was nothing.

A magic called white; it was pathetic.

A concept called Justice, companion to Honor and Kindness; only fools believed in that.

A woman named Lina; a whining bitch of a girl.

A man named Gourry; an idiot masquerading as a skilled swordsman.

A man named Zelgadis... a weakling transformed, a creature who deserved to be hated, deserved to hate himself.

Amelia and her friends were as good as dead. Amedyn finished the final button, pulled on the gloves, and fastened the sword belt around her waist, then stepped out. Grau stared at her a moment, almost as if she wasn't seeing her.

"I look that different?"

"You look...like you were always meant to be here."

Bending down, she grabbed the black boots sitting in the shadows of the bed and handed them over. Amedyn pulled them on, admiring how they completed her new caparison, and then stood tall.

"Let's go."

"One more thing..."Grau reached into the folds of her robe and pulled out a blue stone hanging from a black cord. Stepping behind the shorter girl, she tied it around her neck, then studied the placement. "There."

Amedyn paced back a few steps to see herself in the mirror. Her gray eyes didn't seem so foreign anymore, and she appreciated the way they were set off by the dark jewel that now hung between the indentation of her collar bones.

"All right." the priestess opened the door, "Now we can go."

Grou met them out in the hallway.

"Grau, you take forever."he grumbled, arms folded across his chest. "What is it with girls?"

She scowled at him and pushed Amedyn forward.

"She was moving slowly, don't blame me."

Grou's eyes widened at the site of the newly-transformed girl.

"A-amedyn."he stammered.

"Grou."she said, and bowed a little. "A pleasure to see you."

He looked from her to his partner, then broke into a grin.

"I like this much better than before."

Amedyn straightened, and began to walk down the hall.

"I thought we were late."she called back to them. "What are you standing around for?"

The other two immediately faded in beside her, each taking an arm.

"There's a faster way."Grau said, and in a moment, Amedyn felt her world spin, and the boundaries between space and time seemed to blur and stretch thin. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth to fight back a sickening feeling in her stomach, but found it gone as quickly as it had come.

Opening her eyes, she once more met the image of the great hall, but this time, there was no fear within her. Grau and Grou dropped to their knees behind her, but, spurred by an inner motive, she walked forward, stopping to kneel as well at the very foot of the stairs to the throne.

"My lord."

A wind rose, and she was dimly aware that something in front of her was changing, but that too passed with the blink of an eye, and she was being raised to her feet. Looking into her master's face without fear, she recognized where the gray eyes had come from, and saw the barest beginnings of a smile twitch at the ends of his mouth.

"Perfect."

Amedyn swallowed and nodded, then took a step back as he reached to his side. As she watched, he unhooked a very familiar scabbard and sword, and held it out to her.

"I suspect that you won't refuse this now."

"No."she replied quietly, and reached for it. The weight in her hands didn't seem so fierce and dangerous now. Indeed, now the sword seemed to call to her, and with hands that shook from the barest amount of excitement, she fastened it to her belt.

Dynast did finally smile at her now, and this time she felt nothing like the terror. Instead there was a rush of adrenaline, a pounding of pride within her that told her she would sacrifice everything for her master.

"You'll need some training with the sword."he said finally. "I couldn't give you that. Luckily, we have two people who will be perfectly willing to teach you."he raised his eyes to look past her at his priests. "Don't we?"

"Ah, Grau's much better at it than I am, so maybe-"

"Oh, come now, you and Sherra used to spar together, so-"

"BOTH of you will do it." Dynast's tone silenced the two instantly. Turning Amedyn around, he gave her a little push towards them. "And teach her to transport while you're at it."

"Yes Master."they nodded together.

"Wonderful."he started to revert to shadow form, then stopped, remembering something. "Amedyn, come back."

As she obeyed, he held something out to her- a diamond ring.

"This is yours, and I think you should keep it. You might find it useful in some battle in the future."

With a small movement of her head, she reached for the it, starting to slide it over her the second to last finger of her right hand.

"No. The other hand."

Amedyn blinked up at him, then pulled it off and placed it on her left hand where a wedding ring might have gone.

"Now go."he said, evaporating into shadow.

Rotating once more, Amedyn faced the priests -both of whom looked very sulky- and grinned.

"Teach me."

-------

_CLANG! SLAM! THUD!_

"AGAIN!"

"But I-"

"No buts! Do it AGAIN!"

_CLANG! BONK!_

"OUCH!"

"It'll heal in a second. AGAIN!"

"No!"

"Whaddaya mean, 'no?!' I said AGAIN, and that means do it AGAIN! And you'll keep doing it AGAIN until you get it right!"

"Grau, calm down."Grou lowed his sword.

"Is it so wrong of me to want her to get it right? You aren't even trying and she's missing!"

"Give her a break, it's only been a few days."

"No I will not give her a break!" The dark-haired priestess declared loudly, stomping over to her companion. "Master wants her trained as soon as possible, and we can't just take it easy on her!"

"Yeah, but if she dies, he's not going to be very pleased."he pointed behind her and she twisted to see Amedyn kneeling and breathing heavily, hands clenched in fists against the floor.

Grau sighed raggedly, then threw up her hands.

"Alright! Fine! Take a break, see if I care."

She faded out, and Amedyn raised her head and spoke between deep gasps of air.

"I'm sorry I made her upset."

"Ah, don't worry about it."the priest walked over and crouched down beside her. "She's just a perfectionist and she wants you to be killing things with one stroke already."

"And what about you?"she eyed him as she sat back against one of the room's pillars.

He shrugged. "I think you're going to be an amazing general, but it's not going to happen overnight. Sure, you aren't Sherra, but you have a lot of potential. I mean, I'll admit that neither Grau nor I thought much of Master's choice at first, but I see his reasoning now."

"I hope I can live up to your expectations. I...don't really know."

"It's alright."he folded his long legs underneath himself in a pretzel. "You're just going to have to keep working, and don't worry about Grau. She knows you can do it, she just wants to prove it."

Amedyn sighed.

"I wish I'd learned some more powerful spells. Like the Dragon Slave, or-"

"Don't worry about it. We'll teach you everything you need to know. Hell, I'll bet we can even make you forget that you ever were a princess of white..."he trailed off suddenly, realizing he was stepping into forbidden territory.

To his surprise, she laughed a little.

"I'd already forgotten. It seems like that was just a strange dream. I look back at that...and I can't... Shapes and people come back but they don't mean anything. Well...all except one. One of them means something."

"Oh?" Grou was immediately on guard. Soul Shatter should have destroyed every ounce of feeling she had for her previous life, but if it hadn't worked...

"There's a man I used to know. I want to kill him."

He let out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, we know about him."

"I'd like to train to beat him, if that's alright." She traced the intricate carvings around Dolgofar's hilt. "If Dynast-sama wouldn't mind. I'd..." Her eyes hardened as she stared at the sword. "I'd like to watch him die. I want him to see that the person he knew is gone now, and I want to get back from him the feelings she wasted. I want to taste his agony." Amedyn froze, the slowly gripped the hilt once more. "I've never wanted to hurt anyone so badly."

Grou grinned darkly.

"This is what I meant. You _are_ the right one for this job. Now,"he stood up and offered his hand. "If you'd like, we could try again."

Amedyn took his hand without a thought, and once standing, whipped her black sword up into a ready position.

"Let's do it."

They commenced practice again, and from her place in a shadowy corner of the room, Grau surveyed the fight. It was true that her partner was much more easy going than she, but she'd never seen that as a way to get things done. The practical, obvious approach - that was how she went about her work. But watching Grou talk with Amedyn made it clear that sometimes being less demanding was a better way to achieve the goal.

Pushing her glasses further up her nose, she focused on Amedyn with a growing sense of pride. The ranks of Dynast Grausherra, Supreme King, were complete again, and this girl would certainly prove to have been a worthy gamble. They would teach her everything Sherra had known and more. They would make her into the greatest of the Mazoku generals if she had anything to say about it. And if they did a good job...perhaps Dynast would reward them for it.

Back in practice, Amedyn rubbed her sweaty face against her arm quickly before countering Grou's down-strike. Dolgofar seemed to be singing to her; she could feel the power within it coursing through her, claiming her as it's owner, it's driving force.

A brief sparkle of light danced across the hands that had once belonged to Amelia. She beamed at her ring and the newly added meaning therein; she was Amedyn, married to the darkness.


	9. 8 Here andThere and Everywhere

Look at me go! I'm back on track. I generally don't like to have overly long author notes, but I don't know any other way to respond to everyone who's been kind enough to comment. I really appreciate it.

One thing - this chapter alludes to a story that it is...well, the sequel too. Only that story was never written. Basically it deals with the Lina/Gourry relationship in this story and has something to do with Xellos. If you really want all the details, e-mail me and let me know, I'll be happy to tell you. :)

Also, I screw around a little bit with what I know of the canon as it's given in the novels. So..yeah.

**Cookie** - Thank you, thank you, and thank you. You make me blush. :)   
**Klutz82** - Boom! I like to be surprising! Careful with that bit, don't hurt your teeth! ;)   
**Moments of Insanity** - Aww, but I like melodrama! Seriously, I'll keep that in mind, though the story is long-written, so I'm not sure...how much I'm willing to change. In any case, I'm glad you like the Grau/Grou/Amelia (Amedyn?) relationship. I'm very fond of it. Will she fight them? Hmmmm...   
**Gerao-A** - There there Air-Jay...I like her too.   
**Raven Summersong** - Ack! Don't be too upset! Someone will fix this! I think! Maybe! I'm thrilled that you like it though. And thank you. :)   
**Muffles** - Seriously? WOW! You're awesome and amibitious and...and...thank you! I wish I could say that in all different ways, but you have no idea what it means to me that you like/liked it that much. :)   
**Hoshi-chan1** - Dynast is so inspired. ;) The story unfolds! Also I finally e-mailed you! Woohoo!

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Part VIII- Here and There and Everywhere

"_Hic et ubique? Why then, we'll shift our ground..."   
-Hamlet_

-------

"I'm gonna murder him."

"Yes, Lina, I know."

"No, I really mean it this time."

"Yes, Lina, I know."

"I really do, jellyfish! Stop agreeing with me and listen! I really mean it! When we find him, I'm really going to kill him!"

"But why do you want to do that?"Gourry sighed. He was getting a little tired of this; Lina had been fixating on the impending death of Zelgadis for the past four days. She'd come up with at least a hundred ways to do the deed, and he'd almost begun to wish they'd run into some bandits, if only so she could let off some steam. She was getting more scary than usual.

"Because the lousy bastard left us without a word!"she stopped and ran in front of him, glaring up with her brilliant crimson eyes. "And before you say that it's not the first time he's done that, you're right. But this is different! Amelia's life is at stake, and he refused to look for her then ran off! That is just low of him."

"Well, what if he just decided to look for her himself?"

"That's not the point!

"Then what _is_ the point?"

Lina paused, then snorted and turned away.

"Okay, I don't have one. I'm just pissed off that he'd leave without us. Sure, maybe he decided to look for Amelia, but what if he didn't? How the hell are we supposed to find him on top of finding her?"

"Lina,"her guardian placed his hand on her shoulder gently. "You know he's looking for her."

"I think it's possible that maybe he could be in a sort of way."

"No, you know he is."Gourry moved his hand over a little, gently massaging the soft hair at the back of her neck. "You and I both know that Zel likes to pretend he's completely cold, but he's not just going to sit by while one of his friends is in danger. Especially if it's Amelia." his hands moved once more, this time down her arm, raising her left hand to where she could see the sunlight glinting off the gold band he'd given her. Rubbing his thumb across it, he met her eyes and refused to look away, despite her embarrassed blush. "Because even if he's never said or done anything about it, there is something between them. You know he cares about her, and that's why you also know that he came this way, and that we'll find him sooner or later."

The fiery sorceress rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the way her mouth twitched up in a smile.

"Alright. I guess I have to agree with you there."

"Thanks, Lina."

Without letting go of each other's hands, they started walking again.

"But I'm still gonna hurt him badly."

"Lina..."

-------

Sparky's Inn was a common haunt for citizens of the Ferpeg township, but recently, people had been pouring in at an almost alarming rate. It seemed that there were a lot of travelers on the trade routes these days, and Sparky herself could hardly begrudge them for keeping her in business.

An attractive young woman whose brown hair was streaked with black, Sparky was proud of her inn, and never missed an opportunity to make a conversation with a customer. But it was late in the afternoon now, and with loads of people clamoring for tables, she was getting a little fed up with the silent guy in the corner who kept ordering nothing but coffee. Wandering over to where he sat pondering a map, she put her hands on the table and leaned on them.

"Listen, sugar, either buy some food, buy a room, or get a move on. You've been here for hours."

The man didn't respond, but kept studying the paper before him. Sighing with exasperation, Sparky slapped her hand down right in the middle of his gaze and was very satisfied when he jumped.

"Feel like listening now? I said-"

"Does this map show all the villages up to the ocean?"

Sparky blinked - that hadn't been the reaction she was expecting. "Huh?"

"Does this map show all the villages up to the ocean?"he repeated patiently.

"Uh..."she moved her hand and looked down at it. "I think so. No, wait..."she pointed up at the top of the line that indicated land. "There's a small township called Merrid that has a port to gods-know where right here. It's at the end of the trade route."

"A port?"

"Yup. Now, do you mind-"

"Actually, would you mind telling me if you've seen someone recently?"

"Look, hon, I've got a lot of people who'd like to sit down and..."she trailed off as the man raised his ice blue eyes to her.

"It's very important to Prince Philionel of Seyruun." Zel said, hoping the mention of the huge city would be enough to make her stay.

"Seyruun? What does Seyruun want with me?"

"The princess is missing."he motioned her to a seat, and was pleased when she took it. "And it's thought she may have been kidnaped and taken in this direction. So I was wondering if..."

"If they passed through here. I've got no idea. What does she look like?"

Zel gave a description of both Amelia and the strange party guests, surprising himself with how much detail he used on the small girl. When he was done, Sparky pursed her lips and thought a moment.

"I can't say I've seen anyone that looked like that, or that even comes close. You're sure they're going north?"

"That's the only lead I've got."

"Well, maybe they went on through here. But Merrid's the last stop. You can't get much further north than that, unless you want to take a boat off into oblivion. Sorry I can't be more helpful than that."

"It's alright." Sure, he'd hoped she'd seen something, but he'd known it was only a slim chance. "Er...how far is it to Merrid?"

"Ah...hmmm. Depends how you go. Horseback, maybe a month. On foot it would be at least double that."

"I see. Thank you."

"So, are you going to order anything else?"

"I would, but I've got a long way to go." the Chimera fished into the pouch at his side and handed her some coins. "Thank you."

"No problem..."Sparky counted the coins idly as he left. He might not have been an exciting patron, but he sure paid well. Feeling a little bit wealthier for the new silver pieces in her pocket, she walked back to the bar, failing to notice the person sitting not far away that had watched the entire conversation between herself and Zel.

Outside, Zel stepped into the sun, pulled up his hood, and then decided that maybe it would have been better if Lina had killed him earlier.

"Oh. Shit."

"Hiya Zel!"Lina Inverse herself grinned at him, her voice dripping with deadly sweetness. "Feel like buying a girl dinner?"

Looking past her, Gourry's expression told him that he'd better do it, or risk something very, very bad. Spinning on his heel with a cringe, he started to walk back to Sparky's.

"Right this way, Lina..."

-------

"Oh, you are so lucky you decided to buy this, Zelgadis Graywords, or else I woulda-"the rest of Lina's sentence was dissolved in chewing as she tore apart yet another chicken leg.

Zel rolled his eyes and studied the huge pile of plates on the table. It might have been the pathetic way out, but at least if she had food in her mouth, she couldn't yell as loudly as usual.

"Yes, Lina, you would have done something awful to me. I know you."

"Damn straight!"she declared, slamming her mug down on the table. "But since you did buy us dinner, I suppose murdering you like I had planned would be kinda rude."

"Just a little bit."

"Well..."Gourry leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head. "We found you, Zel, and that's what's matters. So now we can look for Amelia together."

Zel blanched.

"What makes you think I'm looking for her?"

"Bullshit."Lina grinned at him. "Don't even try to fake it. You're looking for her, and you didn't want us to come because you didn't want us to know you gave in."

"Gave in to what?"

"Not so much 'gave in' as started to consider something."Gourry put it. With a meaningful glance at his friend, he added, "Take it from someone who knows that sometimes you don't need to have things said to know they're there."

Zel felt a twinge of guilt; he'd forgotten the nasty things he'd said to the swordsman before he left. But they were still wrong. What was going on inside him was nothing like the emotions that had existed unspoken between Lina and Gourry.

"But it's not like that."he said quietly. "I don't quite know what to feel. I don't know if I feel anything. What matters to me now is making sure that she's safe. And I figured I could do it on my own without bothering you."

"Yeah, maybe."Lina rested her chin in her hand. "But if you recall, you wouldn't let me go to Sairaag alone. What made you think we weren't going to come after you the minute we knew you were gone?"

"Oh, I knew you'd come. I was just hoping I would have gotten to her before you came after my head."

"Be that as it may, you haven't found her, and neither have we. But you've got an idea where to look, I'm guessing?" The sorceress pointed to the map tucked into Zel's belt.

Zel pulled the map out and unrolled it.

"All we know is that the people who took her were from the north. I've been through all these towns.."he indicated the places circled in red. "And no one has seen her or the guests from the party. Now the innkeeper here told me that there's a town not on that map that's right on the ocean. Merrid, she said. And it's the last point on the continent."

"Hmmm..."the red-head perused the map. "Then I guess that's where we're going, stopping everywhere between here and there."

"The thing is, Sparky said it was at least two months on foot. If we walk it, and stop at every town..."

"She'll be with whoever it is that much longer."Gourry finished.

"Right."Lina said gravely. "And the longer she's with them, the better the chance she'll get hurt. But I don't think we have any other option besides searching each place."

"I don't think that will do much good." A new voice broke in- that of the man who'd been listening earlier. "You could look here and everywhere, and you'll never find her."

The newcomer found Lina's chair planted in his face the next moment, and received a knock on the head from Gourry.

"How dare you even think about showing your face around us you sneaky lying little bastard of an asshole!"

"Calm down, Lina-san..."Xellos pulled the chair from his face and put on his most innocent expression. "I have no idea what you're talking about..."

"Yes you do."the swordsman glared at him. "You used both of us to play your stupid little games."

"I think you should be thanking me. After all, would you two have ever admitted anything if I hadn't given you that shove?"

The General Priest himself was shoved into a wall for that comment, leaving Zel to look back and forth between his companions.

"Care to explain?"

"Later."Lina seethed.

Never one to leave well enough alone, Xellos stumbled back to the table.

"And I really don't think that's anyway to treat the only one who knows where the princess is..."

Zel was on that in a second. Gripping the Mazoku by his cape, he dragged the purple-haired annoyance onto the table.

"What have you done with her, fruitcake?"

"I haven't done anything with her, Zelgadis-san. But I happen to know who did."

"Who? SPIT IT OUT!"

"Zel, I don't think he can talk when you're shaking him like that..."

"Fine." he released his hold and dropped Xellos to the floor. "Talk."

Climbing onto the bench, Xellos smoothed his hair back and beckoned Sparky over. After ordering a glass of water, he turned to the other three.

"Well now. I'm sure we all remember the party in Seyruun, yes?"he smiled sweetly at Lina and Gourry, who growled at him. "I see that we do. So then we might have noticed some people who didn't happen to be on the guest list. I'm sure Zelgadis-san knows exactly who I mean."

"The people from the north."

"Right."

"You noticed them first, didn't you? And that's when you left Amelia and I alone."

"Correct again." Xellos slowly opened his lavender eyes. "Of course, what you might also have picked up, is that they weren't really people."

"They were Mazoku?!" It was both a question and a statement, and it came from Lina and Zel simultaneously. They looked at each other strangely for a moment, then back at Xellos.

"We're just getting everything right tonight!"he clapped his hands. "Yes, they were Mazoku. A pair that I hadn't seen for a very long time. Not since the Kouma war, I think; as far as I know, that was the last time they did anything particularly outstanding for their master."

"So who are they?"

"Lina-san should get this one. Let's run through our Dark Lord roll call, shall we? There's BeastMaster-sama, and you know I'm her only servant. Gaav and Hellmaster are dead, and so are their minions. So that leaves two others."

"Deep Sea Dolphin and Dynast."Lina said thoughtfully. "But neither of them...wait a minute..."

"It's coming back, isn't it?"

"Shit."Lina pounded her fist on the table. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Huh? What?"Gourry looked between his lover and the Mazoku.

"I believe that before we met, you and Lina-san ran into a girl with blue hair. She attacked you, and you defeated her. What you didn't realize-"

"Is that she was Sherra, Dynast's general. Of course."

"Brilliant as always."

"So what does this mean?"Zel broke in. "This is the Dynast of 'Dynast Bras', right? As far as I know, he..." He froze, realizing exactly where his sentence was going.

"Dynast Grausherra lives in the frozen north and, because of Lina-san, has no general. Being the recluse he is, sending Sherra out several years ago was a huge move, which means he's been planning something. Her defeat and subsequent death ruined things, meaning that another measure was in order. Sending Grau and Grou out, and from the look on your face I see they did actually give you those names, was very unexpected, and it means one thing. Dynast is looking for a replacement for Sherra. And..."he took a long drink of his water before continuing, "He's finally found her."

A profound silence fell on the table, and there was no movement except for the slow clenching and unclenching of Zel's right fist. Gourry, lost in the discussion, finally decided to speak.

"So wait a minute. That blue haired girl was Mazoku, and because Lina killed her, Amelia's gone? That doesn't make any...WAH!" Insight hit like a lightning bolt and Gourry pointed at Xellos with a shout. "You're saying that Dumbass took Amelia!"

"Er...that's Dynast, Gourry-san. And yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"You can't be serious." Zel's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I am very serious."

"If there's one person that I could never imagine being taken by a Dark Lord, it's Amelia. Knowing what she did to you with her 'Life is Wonderful' song, I can't see someone higher up than you wanting to do anything but kill her."

"Admittedly, I don't entirely understand that either, but the fact remains. He did take her. I recognized Grau and Grou the moment they stepped into the ballroom. So basically, if you're going to find the princess," he reached across the map and pointed the very edge of the paper where there was nothing indicated but water, "You're going to have to go here."

"To the very far north. Lucky us."Lina rolled her eyes.

"So, what's the big deal?" Gourry asked. "We go to that town Zel mentioned, hire a boat, and go get her."

"It's not that easy, Gourry."she sighed. "Dynast is the second most powerful of the Dark Lords after Phibrizzo. Not to mention that we're going to be sailing into nearly uncharted waters to fight him on his own territory."

"And to top it off, she'll be with him at least a month before we can get to her."

"That's true too. But what I want to know now..."Lina raised her eyes to Xellos. "Is why you told us this. Knowing you, it certainly wasn't an act of goodwill."

"That's my ingenious Lina-san, there."he beamed proudly. "Of course I have my reasons for telling you. My Mistress sent me after you. That Dynast has taken Amelia-san means that there's a something in the works. Maybe it won't even take effect for another hundred years, because he'll wait as long as he needs to. But the point is, my Mistress doesn't appreciate being left in the dark about this. Especially if he's going to be making some sort of play for power."

"So essentially, she wants you to play us for fools again and go in and take him out for her."

"Ah...more or less, yes."

"Why does this always happen? Why do we always get stuck with you?"

"Fate, perhaps?"

"How or why doesn't really matter though."the swordsman broke in. "We still have to get Amelia."

"You're right. And we've got to go as soon as possible."

"First thing in the morning."Zel said.

"Right. And this time, we'll leave together." Lina smiled at him and held out her hand. "Alright?"

"Alright." Zel took her hand, and Gourry placed his on top of theirs. "We'll go together."

-------

Alone in the dark again.

Alone with the words that wouldn't go away. This was getting to be a habit.

He'd been pacing back and forth across his room for hours, until finally tiredness overcame him and he had to sit down. But Zel's mind didn't slow down; instead it persisted running in the same circles, carving deeper tracks across his thoughts.

That Amelia had been taken by a Dark Lord was just... Well, there were no words to describe it. The panic that had overwhelmed him at Xellos's words was nameless, but it was strong and unrelenting. And what made it all the more worse, was the fact that Zel knew it was his fault.

For the three hundredth time, he cursed himself. How could he not have known those two were Mazoku? He knew there was something wrong with them, but why didn't he say anything? If he'd just stopped her from walking away, if he'd gone with her, or at least followed them... If he hadn't gone back and sat down like an idiot, then this never would have happened. But he didn't. Why didn't he do it?!

_Because you're a coward, _he told himself. _Because you're a stubborn fool who won't ever give up his hard shell. Because you couldn't let her know that her words hurt, so you had to make sure she didn't see you._

And because of all this, she was gone. It was his fault, and clenching his hand firmly, he knew he would have to be the one to amend it. If it was the last thing he did, he would bring her back.

"I promise you that, Amelia."


	10. 9 Die Ahnlichkeiten des Unterschieds

I keep such awful hours and then I wonder why I'm tired all the time. This is the comedy relief section of the show!...the last for a loooong while...Anyone who gets the special hidden TV reference gets a pineapple.

I was asking myself why I went to all the trouble of putting every other title in a different language, and then I remembered it was because the title is in Latin. Or something like that.

** Xoni **- I e-mailed you again! I'm not a fan of Xellos either, but it's hard to write a huge story without him... There is some kind of overlap, it especially shows up in this chapter. And you couldn't willingly turn Amelia into a Mazoku, no way. ;) For anyone else who wondered about your same questions: yes, there is something more to Amelia's ring, but maybe not what you think, and Dolgofar was indeed Sherra's sword. You're a wonderful reviewer, by the way. :)   
**Gerao-A**- Sherra was Dynast's general and Lina and Gourry fought her in the novels. She's dead, that's really all you need to know. As for the lemon part...man, I'm still waiting for that too.   
**Raven Summersong** - I will do my best!   
**Cookie** - Aww, you did? I can't fault you, though. ;) I'm really glad you liked it so much, and especially Grau and Grou...they're like my babies. My weird babies that got dropped a lot. I'm so flattered by and grateful for your praise, I'll really miss your comments! Thank you so much.   
**Klutz82** - I am please as usual. There's more comic relief here, although it's not just Gourry this time.   
**Stephanie** - Thank you very much! I try. :) And I hope to keep you entranced!

-------

Part IX- Die Ahnlichkeiten des Unterschieds (_The Similarities of the Difference)_

"_Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."   
-Stephen Wright _

-------

Amedyn shivered and leaned back against the icy wall of the outcropping where they'd taken shelter from the storm. The wind howled around them, and she moved closer behind Grou, using his taller body to add more protection. They had been improving her teleporting skills when the tempest had come up, and decided to wait it out so they could continue. But right now, she figured it would have been easier to just head back to the castle, and come back later.

"I didn't expect the cold to still affect me."she said through chattering teeth. "I thought that went away when I changed."

"It doesn't affect you as much as it would a human, but it's still awfully cold up here."Grau rubbed her bare upper arms with her hands. "You'll get used to it to, though. Give it a few more weeks."

"That's why I wear a scarf."Grou nodded smartly, tugging on the black wool wrapped around his neck. "Warm and stylish."

Amedyn looked up and giggled a little. A scarf on her fellow Mazoku struck her as very funny, but Grau was not amused in the least.

"That's just stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Oh, fuck you. Where did you get that piece of shit?"

"Corander, the last time I was there."

"Corander, he says."

"Actually, it could have been Alorin. They're so close together..."

She rolled her eyes and pushed past him to Amedyn. "You see what I've had to deal with for the past thousand years? What kind of priest goes off into mortal cities and buys things?!"

"A classy one."Grou supplied, poking her in the back.

"Not to mention one that goes out with the human girls and comes back reeking of cheap alcohol..."

"Oh, I do not. You don't know your wines, Grau. Besides, I think you're just jealous."

"Jealous?! Are you crazy?!"

"Yeah, jealous of the girls, the drink...Deny it all you want, I know the truth."

"The truth is that you're an idiot!"

Amedyn couldn't help but laugh. As she'd spent more time with them, she'd begun to see interesting quirks in their personalities. Although they had relatively opposite identities, the two were almost always together. Grou, although completely loyal to his master, was perfectly content to go with the flow of things and handled her instruction in an easy-going manner. Grau was sharp and to the point, ready to do whatever it took to be the best servant any lord had ever asked for. But there were times she did let her guard down, allowing her language patterns to slide into more base territory, and not taking such a hard outlook on her job. Both were capable with swords, but Grau was better with instructions for proper usage of the weaponry, while Grou was happier teaching her dark spells. They were, in truth, perfect complements to each other.

Studying the two, Amedyn was reminded of another pair...two others in some distant life that had completed each other as these two did. The memory bothered her, because she couldn't come up with any names. All she knew was that she'd seen this kind of interaction before.

Shrugging it off, she leaned back to watch them quarrel, unable to help a few stray bursts of laughter as their argument took different twists and turns.

"Honestly,"she chuckled. "It's like you two are married."

Both of them immediately froze, and Amedyn thought she could detect just the slightest blush creeping across each of their noses.

"Uh...that's not quite...no." the black-haired man pointed out helpfully.

Grau cleared her throat and stepped away from their shelter, looking up at the sky.

"I think it's easing up. Let's get back to work."

Amedyn sighed, and was about to protest when Grau stomped back, grabbed both her and Grou by the hands and dragged them out into the snow.

"She who must be obeyed."Grou whispered to Amedyn as the were pulled along behind his partner.

"Oh, do shut up."Grau grumbled.

-------

"This is ridiculous!" Lina stared at the huge pile of winter clothing on the counter in front of her. "I don't believe that we need this much stuff!"

The shop-boy -one Will Masandez- a slightly stocky lad with a lot of freckles, merely shrugged.

"You said you're going north, right? It's awfully cold up there this time of year. And if you're not ready for it, it won't be very pleasant."

"I don't care! Who needs this many clothes?!"

"One more thing..."Gourry added a black wool scarf to the top of the pile.

"What is that?"his lover whirled on him. "We don't need anymore stuff!"

"I like it."

"It's ugly! It's not even the right color for you!"

"Is it really that big of a deal?"

Zel leaning against a shelf, sighed and shook his head.

"Can you imagine what it'll be like when they're married?" he asked the Mazoku next to him.

"L-sama help us..."the priest twitched.

"Look, lady," Will tried to get Lina's attention again. "You've obviously never been up by that ocean in the winter. It's as cold as anything, and it's better to just have this and be prepared."

"You just want my money."

"I want you to take some good advice!"

"Maybe I don't want to hear it!"

"Well then maybe you should just head back south and become a bean-picker!"

"Perhaps I will!"

"Well good!"

"Fine!"

"You'll pick many a bean!"

"Hope I do!"

"Would both of you shut up?" Zel offered. "Lina, just buy the damn clothes. We've been in this city long enough."

"The sister cities, you might say."Xellos pursed his lips as he looked through a little travel book he'd picked up. "It says here that Corander and Alorin are-"

"I don't care!"Zel tore the book from his hands and hit him on the head with it. "The point is we're wasting time." He turned back to the sorceress. "What's more important to you, Amelia or your money?"

"Um..."

Lina received dirty looks from both Zel and Gourry at her hesitation. Backing towards Will again, she held up her hands.

"Hey, it was a joke! Ha ha?"

"Ha ha my ass."

Turning to pay the boy, she rolled her eyes, then instructed Gourry to grab all their new belongings and carry them back to their inn. They left, followed closely by Zel. Xellos paused to pick up his guide and brushed it off.

"It must be fun traveling with them."Will said, leaning against his hand.

"You have no idea."

-------

"No, you're concentrating too hard." Grau placed her hands on Amedyn's shoulders and pushed them down. "You don't need to hold yourself so stiffly. It's a matter of MMPH!"

Assuming that wasn't exactly what she'd meant to say, Amedyn looked up in time to see a second snowball smack into the priestess's head, knocking her glasses clean off her face. The shorter girl turned to see Grou in hysterics several feet to the side.

"I am the greatest!"

Eyes burning, Grau stalked over to him, a spell glowing in her hand.

"What is the matter with you?!"

"I was bored."Grou scooted away from her swiftly. "Amedyn thought it was funny, right?" he winked at her.

"I'm not getting between you two."she laughed.

"You were bored?! What kind of priest are you?! You have the attention span of an octopus!"she flung the spell at him, missing by a wide margin due to her lack of glasses.

"An octopus with good aim, four eyes."

"ARGH! Come back her so I can murder you!"

"Octopus?"Amedyn smiled to herself as she watched the pair falling over themselves to hit the other with snow. It wasn't the first time someone close to her had been called an aquatic life form. It was similarities like these that kept creeping into her mind, and, although they were somewhat disconcerting, in a way they added to the comfort she felt around her companions. There was a sense of deep it felt pretty good.

Bending over, she picked up Grau's glasses and waved them.

"You might want these!"

"YAH!"a cry came from overhead, and she was suddenly tackled by Grou.

Grau worked quickly to shovel as much snow over them as possible. The fight got even stupider from there, and they were all half-buried in a snow drift when Dynast found them.

"I am not even going to ask."he said disgustedly. "Just get back to the castle now."

The three nodded meekly, but started giggling amongst themselves the moment his back was turned.

The Supreme King sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. Good help was so hard to find.


	11. 10 Coming Together, Coming To Get Her

Remember the comedy from last time? Yeah that's way gone now - here comes the intensity! Let's rock!

** Klutz82** - Thought you might like that! I'm glad you did. And actually, Lina does say something like "Teehee my ass" somewhere in NEXT..you say that too? Hmmm...;)p   
**Gerao-A** - Glad you liked the funny stuff. I only know about Sherra from many years and hours of research. As usual, my pity for Air-Jay.   
**Seygram 13** - Very interesting comments and questions. Amedyn will be very lethal up close, and as to whether she retains any of her humanity...well, that's something I can't really answer at this point. She certainly doesn't still have her white magic abilities, but if she has anything else...I'm not telling. And you know, I'm not sure what sword Gourry's using, it could be just a plain badass sword. Huh...I hadn't thought of that one before. Thanks! And thanks for reading. :)   
**Hoshi-chan1** - Yup, that was the idea! It gets much darker from here on out. Glad you're still enjoying it! :) (You did get my e-mail right?)

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Part X- Coming Together, Coming To Get Her

"_...That to have loved was to carry a vessel that could be lost or stolen. Or worse, spilled blood red on the ground. And that love was not immutable. It could become hate as day becomes night, as life becomes death."   
- "Milagro", The X-Files_

-------

Corander and Alorin.

Raona.

Jenathy.

Wenpair.

The names of the cities stared up at Zel from the map, each of them outlined in red, proclaiming that they'd been visited.

Hasu Vale.

Brakami.

Evauni.

There were so many of them. City after city after city after village after town after city. He'd known that the trade routes to the north were extensive and well-populated, but he'd never imagined they'd walk so far, through so many places, and still be getting nowhere.

The candle above the map flickered, casting shadows upon the top of the paper above the place where he'd carefully written the name of Merrid. Perfect symbolism, he thought darkly. It was mocking him, just as everything seemed to be.

Sighing, he once again analyzed the distance between their current spot in Ajaul back to Seyruun. It wasn't that they hadn't come a long way; no, they'd been walking for a least a month by now. The problem lay in the fact that it was still so far to go. The temperature had been slowly but steadily decreasing as they went, but the ocean was not even a glimmer in the distance yet.

Zel had never been so antsy about traveling. In his life, he couldn't remember ever feeling so restless on the road. Usually it was quite calming. Walking gave him time to think, to see places. And often, though he would never admit it to them, it gave him a chance to be in the pleasant company of his friends -Xellos not included- obnoxious and gluttonous as they may be.

But that was different now too. Somehow the group dynamic had shifted the slightest bit. Certainly, he'd journeyed with only Gourry and Lina before, except now...now it didn't feel right. There was an absence now, an empty hole next to him as he walked.

An Amelia-shaped hole.

Biting his lip and clenching his fist, he dug his nails into his palm and stared hard at the ocean above Merrid. Gods, was she really there? Somewhere out in the ocean, somewhere with ice and cold and...and that ring. Was she still wearing the ring?

"Dammit!"

He struck the map off the table, nearly upsetting the candle. She was never supposed to get to him this much. Of course, she was never supposed to be taken by a Dark Lord. Except she wouldn't have been if someone had been on the ball that night, if he hadn't had to go and throw himself a pity party. If he hadn't been so completely stupid about just admitting to himself that he-

The shamanist stopped that train of thought right there, and placing his head in his hands, told himself to calm down. Thinking himself into guilty circles for another night in a string of who knew how many...it wasn't going to help any. The best thing for him to do would be to go to bed and be ready for the continuing trip the next morning.

Simply lying down, however, proved to be a difficult task. His brain was still trying to drag his thoughts into dark places, and his body wanted to move. So, although it was late, he left the room, and quietly made his way down to the dining area of the inn. Stealing into the kitchen, he found half a pot of coffee sitting on a counter, and, grabbing a cup from a random shelf, he made his way back out and sat down at a table. He used a quick spell to heat the liquid again, then poured it. It was bitter as all sin, but it was still coffee, and coffee was good. Coffee was soothing. Coffee was black like Amelia's hair, and...

"Fuck."

"Hi to you too."

Hand at the small dagger he'd tucked into his belt, Zel whirled, finding Gourry standing at the stairs behind him.

"What are you doing down here?"

"I heard you get up." the swordsman shrugged. "And I though that if you were doing stuff this late, maybe you needed someone to talk to."

"Thanks, but I think I'll be alright alone."

"Whatever."Gourry acted as if it were no big deal. "Then I'll just get something to eat and sit with you."

A little irritated that his solitude had been interrupted, Zel tapped his fingers on his cup until his friend returned with a loaf of bread. Gourry sat down across from him and held it out.

"Want any?"

"No thanks."

"Suit yourself." he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on the table. "Just do me a favor and don't tell Lina I had this without her. She'd do something unpleasant."

"Where is Herself?"

"She's asleep."Zel could detect a blush across Gourry's nose. "We...she was tired."

"I see."

"Yeah."

They ate and drank in silence for a few minutes, then two chair legs settled on the ground, and, brushing crumbs off his lap, Gourry leaned forward and said "I know you're thinking about Amelia, so why don't you just come out and say it."

"Hmph."Zel snorted, trying not to show his surprise at this little confrontation. "I seem to recall us having a conversation that started like this before."

"But this time, I'm not going to let you walk away."

Turning with a nasty retort ready on his tongue, the two pairs of eyes met, and Zel found his words lost in the hardness of his friend's gaze. Yes, it was the same look he'd given him back when they'd quarreled in Seyruun, but this time retreat wouldn't come.

Zel flipped his eyes away.

"What if I was? What's it to you?"

"Nothing, really."he shrugged again. "I just think it would be nice if you wouldn't be so afraid to admit it."

"Admit what?" Ice was in his tone. There was no way in hell Gourry was going to drag out the thoughts he'd been having upstairs.

Gourry seemed to catch on to that, and stretched, folding his arms behind his head.

"I know what you're thinking."

"Do you."

"Look, Zel, I know that I don't get half of what you and Lina and Xellos say about Dark Lords and magic and all that stuff. But I like to think that I'm observant when it comes to other kinds of things. Like the way Amelia felt about you. The way you feel about her."

"I don't-"

"I'm not saying that you're in love with her. I'm not saying that you even like her that way. All I'm trying to do is remind you that you care about her a lot, even if you can't admit it to yourself."Gourry's tone was calm and collected, as if what he was saying was the most boring thing in the world.

"It's not that easy." the words seemed to come unbidden, and Zel was surprised to hear himself say them.

"You're telling me."the blond man laughed a little. "I was terrified to admit to myself what I felt about Lina, because I knew that once I did I'd have to tell her. And you try to say to me that telling Amelia you care about her is more scary than asking the Enemy of All Who Live to marry you."

The chimera couldn't help but smile at that.

"Zel, don't try to hide that you care, because the more you do, the more you make yourself suffer. And your suffering over what you do or don't feel about Amelia isn't going to help her. You have to either accept that you're doing this because you care about her, or you may as well just go home and let Dimwit have her."

Quietly: "Dynast."

"You know what I mean. I'm not going to say you have to love her, but if you do feel something for her, you have to accept it and go on. Because you know, and I know, and Lina knows, that if you don't figure this out, and you're useless when this all comes together, she'll never forgive you, I'll never forgive you, you'll never forgive you, and Amelia will never forgive you." He stood with another stretch and pushed in his chair. "I don't know or care what she said to you at the party, but I know that if you don't get things straight, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. So when will it be? Now, when you have the chance to save her, or later, when it's too late to do anything?"

"What if we get her and she still decides to marry that prince?"

"Then you'd better figure it out damn fast and tell her." With that he started for the stairs, turning around as he placed his hand on the bannister. "But Zel, you have to know that no matter what she might have said or done or felt...she does love you. A diamond from some other guy that she doesn't know or want doesn't change that." He gave a little wave, "Good night", and then was gone.

His coffee had gone cold again, but that didn't seem to matter anymore as Zel settled into his chair. As much as he hadn't wanted to hear them, the swordsman's words had slowed down his racing thoughts, and contemplating them didn't seem like such a danger now. It was just a matter of looking through everything and putting it all into it's place.

Once that was done, he would be able to relax.

Once that was done, things would come together, and...

And what?

He knew too well what. If what he knew was there was willing to step into the light, it would never be pushed back again, and sooner or later it would have to come out. Sooner or later. But not necessarily tonight.

Well, he decided, that was enough for now. It was enough that he knew what he would have to do, and when the time came, he would be ready for it.

_And as for the rest of it, _he promised his missing companion as he climbed the stairs to his room,_ we'll take care of it after I get you back._

_ -------_

"DYNAST FREEZE!"

"FLARE ARROW!"

Amedyn quickly threw up a magical shield to block the first spell before whirling around and slicing her sword through the second, splitting the fiery attack around her. She was only there a moment before instinct told her to move and she back-flipped out of the way of a sword swipe from Grau.

The priestess swung again and the smaller girl countered it as she landed, feeling the internal hum of Dolgofar rise to a fever pitch inside her- the sword demanded blood, and she was more than happy to comply. As the days had turned into weeks, she'd learned more and more about the black sword, coming to understand and control the dark song it produced. When she held it, she could feel it wanting to be part of her, to guide her hands and drive them to the destruction of the adversary, no matter who or what it was. It's power was intoxicating, and she wondered what she had ever been before she was the owner of this weapon, before she'd felt it within her alongside her own pulse.

She was snapped back into reality as the sword came into contact with something soft. Grau cried out and dropped to the floor, holding her shoulder tightly. Grou was at her side in a moment, moving her hand to cover the black wound with his own, but she pushed him away.

"It's nothing big."she gasped. "I've got it." Swallowing hard, she looked up at Amedyn. "Good move. I didn't see it coming."

Amedyn nodded, and took a few steps back to give the other woman space. Although it was true that it was only a minor flesh wound for a Mazoku, she'd learned first hand that being struck by Dolgofar _hurt._ Certainly, it wouldn't turn one of the monster race into a lesser demon, but it seemed to produce a pain equivalent to that. Still, healing or caring about Grau's injury wasn't her problem. If she didn't strike at them, they would kill her. It was that simple.

"I said I've got it! Stop that!"

"You're doing a really lousy healing job. Let me do it."

The clapping of hands quieted both of them, and the three raised their eyes to Dynast himself, who stood in the doorway. As he met each of their gazes, he stopped his applause and folded his arms across his chest.

"I agree with Grau."he said, his enigmatic smile firmly in place. "It was good move. I'm very impressed that you managed to hit her."

"Oh, it was nothing."Amedyn flushed with pride and dropped to a knee.

"Don't get cocky." Dynast walked over to them. "It shows that you've improved a lot, but it's not nearly good enough." He looked down at where Grou was taking over healing his companion's shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Let her do it herself. She was careless, it's hers to deal with."

Reluctantly, it seemed, Grou let go of her and scooted himself back.

"Now, Amedyn. I know this won't be fair at all, and I expect you to lose. But I want you to know how fast I need you to be." the Dark Lord held out his hand, into which Grau placed the sword she'd been using. "I want you to fight me."

Her mouth dropped open, and her hand tightened around the hilt of her sword.

"Wh-what?"

"They're coming for you." He spoke as he stepped back and raised the sword in a salute. "I thought we'd have more time, but they're moving faster than I anticipated."

"Er, who, master?"

"No one important, really. Just a few minor annoyances that I want to be sure you can take care of. Now attack me, and show me what you can do."

Amedyn hesitated. Sure, she felt confident with her skills against the priests, but...but Dynast was her master. And not only that, she knew he would show her no mercy; any slip could mean the searing pain she'd seen him deliver to his lower minions.

"Come on." he said, and Amedyn started forward.

Before she could blink, she felt his presence behind her and raised Dolgofar just in time to prevent her head from being severed. She'd barely recovered from that impact before he was striking at her again, and as before, it was only a fraction of a second that saved her.

It continued from there. For every attack she attempted, he was a second faster. For every moment she needed to defend herself, she was almost an instant too late. Finally, when a clash sent her sliding across the floor, Dynast lowered his sword.

"This is pathetic."he sneered. "I know I expected you to lose, but not like this! I can't imagine that you were able to hit Grau with technique like that. Either they've gone easy on you, or my priestess has gotten very slow."

"We had to teach her from the beginning, Master! She couldn't-"

"Shut up!"he roared, snapping his fingers as Amedyn remembered seeing him do in a murky past, and Grau, only newly healed, screamed and clawed at the floor. Grou grabbed her and held her against him, ignoring the way she thrashed.

"What should I do with you now?"he turned his gray eyes from his agonizing servant and focused on Amedyn. "I could set Lina Inverse right in front of you, and what would you do? You would fail me like Sherra! Like all the rest of them! I chose you because I thought you could-"

"Lina Inverse?" Amedyn's gaze snapped up to his. The name triggered something inside her...a reflex...a knowledge... a hatred.

Through his seething anger, Dynast was immediately aware of this change.

"That's what I said."

"You would let me fight her?"

"Not in this sorry state!"

"But if I proved to you that I could do it,"she stood slowly. "You would let me."

"If I thought you could, I would have you kill her."

The blood began to pound more quickly through her head.

"She's coming here, isn't she?"

"She is."

"Tell me, Master...is...is Zelgadis Graywords with her?"

"What's he to you?" As Grou had been, he was immediately on guard, and was a little surprised when Amedyn dropped to one knee once more.

"Master, if it's the only thing you let me do for you, let me kill him."

"Let you...what?" Looking into her eyes, he saw a fire burning that hadn't been there a moment before. His name had done something to her, ignited an inner flame that he hadn't seen in her previously. He began to smile a little. "Why do you want to kill him so badly?"

"I can't say, my lord. All I know is that he doesn't deserve to live. If he comes here with Lina Inverse, let me kill him. Please!"

Taking a few steps back, Dynast raised his hand, calling forth wisps of shadow. They came together, forming a young man with blue skin. Pebbles decorated the surface of his face and curled around his blue eyes.

Her reaction to the vision was instantaneous. It being his own sword, Dynast could sense any change in the power of Dolgofar, and the wave that hit him as Amedyn looked on Zelgadis was enormous. So much intense anger and hatred, so much dark energy, had not been put into the sword in years. And the change in its wielder was incredible as well. In an instant she had become focused, dropped into a ready stance, and was prepared to move at a single word.

"Grau..."Grou shook his companion. "You have to see this..."

Still under the effects of Dynast's spell, and a sobbing, nearly comatose heap in his arms, she managed to turn her head, unable to contain a gasp as she watched her protege.

The shadow Zelgadis moved, reaching for its sword, and every ounce of Amedyn's being seemed concentrated on that one action. As soon as the hand touched the hilt, she was moving, fading in and out so quickly that to blink was to completely miss where she was. Shadow Zel had no more than three seconds to deflect the attack, and it barely managed to get it's sword up again before she was at him from a different angle.

The two priests, despite one's extreme pain watched open mouthed as Amedyn fought the apparition as she'd never fought them. For the first time, she seemed truly committed to the confrontation.

As for the general herself, complete and utter animal bloodlust was the only way to describe what she was feeling. Yes, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it was only a puppet, but just the sight of him, the vision of Zelgadis Graywords...She had to destroy it. If Dolgofar had given off fever heat before, this was a full-blown fire. It wanted him gone as well, it wanted death, and it would have it.

The fight had lasted barely five minutes before the spell was lacking its head, and it dissolved into shadows once more. Amedyn leaned gasping on the sword, adrenaline and loathing still coursing through her veins.

"Now that was what I wanted to see." the Dark Lord raised her by the shoulders. "That was all I needed from you."

"Thank you...Master..."she spoke breathily.

He let go off her with a grin, not even noticing the way she sagged back towards the ground. "This is what the ranks of Dynast Grausherra were meant to look like. Come, Amedyn, there are many things we need to discuss."

He began to walk out, then something seemed to occur to him, and he turned to Grau.

"Let's remember not to argue with me next time, yes?" And with another snap of his fingers, he turned off the spell, and she fell limp against her partner.

"Yes master."her voice was ghost of its usual self.

Amedyn didn't even stop to think about it, and grinning like a maniac, she stumbled after her master.

"Well,"Grou said as he rose to his feet despite Grau's feeble protests. "I didn't know she had that in her. She's the general, all right. You did a good job teaching her."

"...Whatever you say..."she murmured, and passed out.


	12. 11 Himmelen Blir Brut

Sorry for the extreme lateness. I had a lot of work, I then went home for the holiday, and then proceeded to fall quite ill. I apologize for delay and hope I haven't lost any of you.

Also, if any of you have e-mailed me and not gotten a response, it's probably because I didn't get it - for whatever reason, my hotmail address is no longer receiving mail. I'll put a new address that works up in my profile if you need me. Again, I'm not a total jerk, but hotmail is.

**Seygram 13** - Glad you liked the Gourry bits. I feel the same way, that he's too often relegated the role of being a moron, when in truth he's very insightful and bright in his own ways. I'm very fond of him and there's no way I would portray him with any less respect than I think he deserves. I appreciate your comments on Amelia too, and maybe you'll see her in action...maybe...;)  
**Gerao-A** - What were they doing indeed... Glad you liked the conversation.. But will Amedyn kill Zel? Hmmm...I'm not saying anything.  
**Klutz82** - The darkness is brought on! Sorry for the wait!

-------

Part XI-Himmelen Blir Brutt- (_The Sky is Broken_)

"_I am reaching, but I fall  
And the stars seem black and cold  
As I stare into the void  
Of a world that cannot hold..."  
-Javert, "Les Miserables"_

-------

It had come in the night, stealing into his unconscious as he slept and hiding itself until the light of dawn woke him, and stirred something within.

It had come as a fear that wasn't necessarily new, but seemed to gnaw at him as it hadn't before. It came in part, he was sure, from the days that came and went and went and came back like clockwork. There were just so _many_ days...

It had come and now it wouldn't go, and although he could have thrown his arms around the sign that read "Merrid," the thing inside him told him it was all for nothing.

Because what had come in the night was a chill and a nagging that said to him the Amelia he'd known was dead.

Now normally, he would have disregarded this thought as nerves, tension. A little bit of his uptight nature drawing his daydreams into funny places. But this was irrefutable. This was a solid piece of...what? And he knew it like he knew his name, like he knew his face. It was, simply, the hard, cold truth.

And it scared him that he knew it like this. It was undeniable, and it was terrifying because it meant that whenever they got there, they were going to be late by far too much. He'd first noticed it the day after he and Gourry had spoken- that was in Ajaul. It had metastasized like a cancer over the next few days as Xellos disappeared to his own devices and they reached Lirose and Sheloryah. It had come to the point now where it was present at every moment.

With every step it got worse.

With every step it reminded him that it was all. His. Fault.

Sure, it would have helped to have someone to talk to, but Lina and Gourry had completely disregarded it. They kept telling him not to get depressed, to keep his spirits up. She wasn't dead, and they were going to find her. They just would not believe it... So he'd been left alone with it for more than a month.

If he'd been feeling god-awful before, this was worse.

"Zel, would you move your butt?!"Lina's cry pierced the air and made him shudder more. The two of them had not been getting on well of late. She was sick of his morbid attitude, and he was sick of her not giving him credit for what was to him the given truth. And the cold weather and put her in an even fouler mood than usual. Gourry was doing all in his power to keep the two from tearing each other to bits.

"It's getting dark, and we have to find an inn soon."Gourry said patiently once they were all walking together again. "And then in the morning we'll hire a boat."

"Oh, wonderful."Zel sneered. "So she'll rot another day while we just fuck around here in another inn, and-"

"Do shut up."Lina suggested, acid in her voice. "Perhaps you'd like to start on a sea voyage in the middle of the night? Well that's great for you, but we're doing this together, and two votes out of three say we're not going until morning, okay?! So would you stop digging yourself into a little 'She's dead' hole and use some sense?!"

"Now look you little unfeeling-"

"I'M unfeeling? Oho, the rock thinks he can teach me how to care about people?!"

The swordsman sighed. They were right in each other's faces again. This had happened at least once a day for the past two weeks, and he was really getting sick of it. It was awfully hard to be the oldest, sometimes.

"Listen, you two..."

"...And I'm sick of hearing you whine!"

"Excuse me for knowing the truth!"

"Please, this is getting silly. Lina..."

"You know, I am not going to argue with you anymore! I'm not even going to TALK TO YOU!"

"Well GOOD!"

"FINE!"

And simultaneously, they both turned their backs to each other with a resolute "Hmph!" Gourry shook his head and pulled his cloak tighter. Things were going from bad to worse.

-------

Finding an inn was stupidly difficult, dinner was obscenely ridiculous, and trying to hire a boat the next morning just plain sucked. Despite his desperate entreaties, Gourry could not make his friends talk to each other; they would address things to him, such as "Gourry, tell Lina that I..." or "Gourry, tell Zel..." but these usually led to more insults. They did everything possible to disagree with one another, which made the already hard task of finding a ship to take them out into the ocean the next morning nearly impossible.

Finally, Gourry sent the two off in separate directions to inquire in hiring a boat. He went with Lina, of course, to keep her from doing something unseemly, but he couldn't help glancing back at Zel every so often. Even from far away, it was possible to tell that the Chimera was growing more and more frustrated with every refusal. He began to wonder if they would ever find anyone to take them out. Or at least, anyone who would take them out without having to use the Dragon Slave as a bribe.

The short daylight was fleeing fast when the pair came to the last ship at the port. It wasn't terribly large, but it looked sturdy, and relatively new. The black paint that broadcasted the name "Sandor" seemed fresh, and the woman who perched on the deck braiding her long blond hair looked very seaworthy for her years.

"HEY!" Lina decided to get her attention in a less than tactful manner. "We want to hire your boat!"

The woman looked up with a raised eyebrow before clambering down the hull to drop in front of them. She surveyed the pair: a tall handsome man who looked cold, tired, and exasperated, and a little red haired girl who was huddled in her cloak, emitting waves of irritation.

The man stepped in front of his companion and extended his hand.

"Hello. My name is Gourry Gabriev, and my friend and I would like to hire your boat."

The woman took it.

"Dhitney Wirks at your service. Where are you going?"

"North. Just straight north."

"To the ice shelf? You're kidding, right?"

Dhitney couldn't help but notice his shoulders sag as she spoke. Ah, these were the people the other captains had mentioned -no specified destination beyond the frigid waters above them. Well, there were reasons no one had taken them aboard. Who in their right mind would want to go sailing up there for no real purpose?

"No, I'm sorry to say that I'm not kidding, but..."

"Look, I don't know why you'd want to go up there. You want snow and ice, just wait another few days and you'll have it right here."

"Does this mean you won't take us?"

"Well, I hate to say it, but-"

"THEN DON'T SAY IT!" Gourry caught Lina by the hood an instant before she leapt at the other woman.

"Lina, please!"

"No, I won't 'please!' I am sick and tired of all these self-righteous shippers who won't be hired to do what they exist for!"

"Hey, miss!" Dhitney backed up a few steps. "It's not that I wouldn't love the money, but I happen to love my personal safety too! If you had a good reason, I might consider it."

"A good reason."Lina's voice dropped low. "A good reason? HOW'S THIS FOR A GOOD REASON?! My friend is stuck up there somewhere, and she's been there for months! We need to get her, and there is no question about it that if you don't take us up there she's as good as dead!"

"Months?!"the boatswoman looked at the other girl. "There's no way anyone could survive there for months! What the hell is she doing up there anyway?"

"There isn't time to explain! Just say you'll take us up there or I'll-"

"You'll what?"

"I'll..."Lina looked up at Gourry's glare and, pursing her lips in a pout, sunk down into her collar. "I won't do anything. I'll build my own goddamn boat and go up there myself."

"We don't care about the price." Gourry ignored his lover stepping on his foot as he said this. "We need to get our friend. Because if we don't, our other friend, the one way down there,"he pointed behind himself to the far end of the pier where Zel stood. "..Will go absolutely insane. Please, you're our last chance."

Dhitney looked back and forth between this pair, and the man who stood beyond them. Finally, she shook her head and turned back her ship.

"You're going to buy all the supplies we'll need. And that means huge amounts of wood to keep us from freezing, and food that'll do alright in the cold. We'll set out tomorrow morning." Casting a backwards look over her shoulder, she added "I'll take you up to the ice shelf. And then you're on your own."

Grasping a rope that hung over the hull, she pulled herself back up onto her boat. After she was gone, Gourry turned to Lina with a broad smile.

"See? I told you we could do it without you having to hurt anyone!"

Lina grumbled something incoherent, and Gourry leaned over and kissed her nose. "I'll go get Zel, and we'll have dinner, alright?"

"Fine."

"Will you talk to him yet?"

"No."

Well, at least they'd accomplished something, even if they were still going to be stubborn about this. Shrugging, the blond man dashed away to gather up their friend.

-------

The stars were dark.

It was a passing revelation to Zel as he stood on the Sandor's deck, freezing spray blowing up into his face every now and then. The water was fairly calm right now, but it had been very violent earlier- after four days, they were beginning to encounter the occasional large chunk of ice, and the weather up here was less than pleasant. Bitter winds and sharp, stinging snow reminded him why he, like Lina, was not a fan of winter.

Lina...now there was a story. Grimacing a little, he recalled how Gourry, fed up with their silence towards each other, dragged them both to the main deck, made Dhitney stop the ship, and forced them to stare at one another until they promised to stop acting like stubborn children. Of course it was true, and they finally apologized to one another, but both were fairly embarrassed, and so hadn't spoken much since. He was pretty certain Lina was trying to make it up to Gourry right now.

But he was on the deck, feeling the ship slowly bob up and down underneath his feet as he pulled his thick cloak tighter. Since going down to the room he was forced into sharing with his friends was not really an option, and Dhitney had already retired to her own cabin (conveniently warmed by one of Lina's heat spells), he really didn't have any other choice besides standing here and looking out at the ocean.

And the stars were dark, as if the sky was broken.

It was kind of uncanny. Usually, he'd found that when you were out in the wild, away from the lights of a city, the stars were brighter. But here they seemed to attempt to match the earth by being cold and dim. Unfriendly. They were nothing close to the sparkling diamonds they'd been in Seyruun.

Sparkling diamonds.

Amelia's ring.

Amelia.

He didn't think it a coincidence that thinking on her suddenly made him shiver. It seemed that everything had fallen under some kind of shadow since his grim epiphany... even her memory, and that scared him most of all.

Each day, the Amelia he'd know seem to drift further and further away from him. He tried to hold on, but he was losing her again. She was slipping out of his hands as she'd done that night, drifting away from him into reaches beyond death. You could keep someone within you, let them live inside you, even if they were gone. But not if their memory disappeared with them.

And he couldn't afford to let her go, because he knew the moment she went, every remaining bit of his sanity would go too. Without any part of her left to him, his world was not going to hold up.

What would they find when they reached Dynast's stronghold?

It was a stretch, he knew, but gods willing, they'd find Amelia and take her home.

Or gods help him when his world came crashing down around him.

-------

Gray eyes took in the stars.

A heart began to race.

She could feel it. They were getting close. She could practically see him stepping onto her battlefield, standing before her, unaware of the danger...unaware of the painful way he would die.

And somewhere in the back of her mind, she could feel him looking at the same stars.

But she was not going to let him share them with her. No, not for much longer.

And then they would have nothing in common. Not even the same world.


	13. 12 To The Furthest Verge

Okay, I have a new e-mail address if anyone needs me, and I'll put it up in my profile - hopefully it'll show. Again, if you sent me something and never heard back, it's because Hotmail is evil, and I'm really sorry.

Yay suspense! Last chance to break before the cliff!

**Klutz82** - I don't think a lot of things would get done without Gourry. ;) And it's getting closer! Well, something's getting closer at least...  
**Gerao-A** - But of course? Where would the story be without suspense? I like building it and I'll keep doing it this time. ;) And it is getting much much closer...  
**Kristall** - Thank you for reading and I'm so glad you like it and the darkness. I won't say anything about what will happen to Amelia but I do hope you really will like it. Hope you like this chapter too!

-------

Part XII- To The Furthest Verge

"_Receive what cheer you may. The night is long that never finds the day."_

_- Macbeth_

-------

Lina didn't know what time it was. It was probably very, very late -late enough that it could be called early. But inside the small cabin that creaked and moaned in the north winds, time was non-existent.

She could tell that neither of her companions were asleep. Having traveled with Gourry for more than four years, and now sharing a bed with him, she knew the little signs that indicated his consciousness- a sigh here, a shift in his arm around her that was too calculated to have been an accident of sleep. As for Zel...well, she was pretty sure he hadn't slept in days. Due to the fact that Dhitney had to work the slow process of carefully navigating the increasingly frequent floating ice blocks, the trip had taken two weeks. The sorceress was getting scared for her friend's sanity. It was more than obvious he was beginning to fall apart.

Well, enough was enough. She sat up, Gourry's arm sliding off her.

"If none of us can sleep, let's not try to fake it."

She cast a small light spell, illuminating Gourry as he slowly sat up next to her, and revealing Zel curled up in a corner, arms folded across his chest.

"And if we're not going to sleep," the chimera asked. "What will we do instead?"

"Plan our attack?"Lina suggested. "Consider what we're dealing with, at the very least?"

"But we don't know what we're dealing with."Gourry said, then quickly added "Well, we don't know much at least. Er...that's what it seems like to me."

Lina sighed, and leaned against the cabin wall.

"No, we don't really know. Except that there are two priests we'll probably have to deal with, and then... perhaps Amelia herself."

"Amelia is-"

"I don't want to hear it." the sorceress quickly cut off her friend. "We have no proof. And I can't believe that you would just disregard what Xellos said about her becoming Dynast's general."

"Let's think about this, Lina. How many times has Xellos led us astray?"

"And then let's think about how many times he's taken us right where we wanted to go. I know you don't trust him, Zel, and I don't like to either, but we don't have much of a choice."

"What he said doesn't make sense to me. Especially not knowing what I know."

Lina sighed raggedly, and probably would have chewed out him out once more, had Gourry not taken the opportunity to inject before she spoke.

"It doesn't make sense to me either, Zel. But I can't believe that she's dead, and I can't let you believe it. Because if you do, then what's the point in even being here? You've said it yourself- if she's dead, why bother?"

Zel winced and turned away.

"That was..."

"I don't care what it was. The point is that what you think you know or don't know, whether you'd rather kick Xellos than trust him, for Amelia's sake, we have to take his word for it."

"He's right." Lina seconded her fiancee.

There was silence, and then Zel said "I know he's right. But it's hard to agree when you feel what I'm feeling right now."

"Maybe it would help if you told us how you're feeling."

"I have told you!"he looked back at them with cold eyes. "I told you I feel like she's died inside of me! And she keeps dying each day, because as every day goes by I remember something less about her." he rested his hands in his lap and looked at them. "I feel that everything that's happened is my fault and there won't be a chance to really remedy that." his right hand clenched into a fist. "I feel like there were things I should have let myself realize a long time ago, and because I didn't..." he trailed off, unwilling to finish his sentence.

Lina and Gourry shared a look, and then the red-head crawled over to the chimera, kneeling at his side.

"There's nothing you can do about that now. It's in the past, and you can't change that. But you can change the way the future turns out. Figure it out."

Zel met her eyes, then moved beyond them to Gourry, who nodded.

"I'm working on that." he spoke quietly.

"Whatever you're working on," Dhitney's voice cut through the room as the hatch opened and she stuck her head down. "Drop it and come up here now. You have to see this."

"Are we there?" Zel's voice seemed to shake a little.

"We're...just come up and see."

The three companions quickly rushed around, picking up their warm clothing and pulling it on, then joining the boatswoman on the deck in moments.

"The ice shelf." she pointed forward.

It took a moment for their eyes to focus in the darkness, but when it became clear, not a one of them could prevent a gasp.

So much ice.

It seemed to rise up out of the ocean, a monster with huge claws that strained to tear at the sky roiling with clouds. The ice was shadowed and dark and it continued on... as far as they strained to look ahead, those jagged peaks of frozen water were there, until the night finally consumed them.

"I've never seen it for myself."Dhitney hissed. "I've only heard stories. They were nothing like this..."

"It's amazing."Lina breathed.

"It's horrible. It's a land of death. I hate to see you go out on there."

"We have no choice." Gourry stated firmly. "There's someone we have to get."

"If you must, I guess." Dhitney sighed. "Can you wait until it's light?"

"We don't have that kind of time." Zel felt the words heavy in his throat. His heart was pounding- she was here, somewhere. Something had happened, she had changed and who knew what to...but still, she was here. Out on that ice... and would they find her?

"How well can you navigate the ice in the dark?" Lina inquired.

"I... If you could give me one of your light spells, I could probably do it without too much trouble..."

"Then let's get to it. We can't wait for morning, or a clearer sky. It's time."

Leaving them to work at the navigation, Zel left the deck and moved to the bow of the ship. The initial jerk of movement made him stumble a little, but he braced himself against the railing, staring straight out.

If there was ever a perfect time to figure things out, that time was now. And he was going to do it. He had to.

-------

"They're here."

"I know it, Master."

"And you know what I want you to do?"

"As surely as I know my name."

"You understand that I may have to pull a few strings here and there. You might not get to kill him yet."

An uncomfortable shifting.

"I know. I hate that, but I understand, and will obey."

Cold laughter.

"Don't worry. If everything works out, you will kill him eventually. I'll give you that. Just be patient. It won't be long."

"Thank you, Master."

Behind them, two people quickly glanced at each other, and one hand closed around another.

-------

Dhitney had given them five days.

Five days to do it and come back, or else she would leave without them.

It seemed like a cruel thing to do- abandoning them to the elements and certain death that lay in wait here- but Zel knew it was perfectly fair. Dhitney did have her own life and ship to worry about. That she had even taken them here was a great testimony to her character.

But he did wish they had more time.

And he'd always imagined hell would be warmer than this. He'd never longed for sweltering heat so much in his life.

As soon as the ship had come within a thousand feet of the ice shelf, Dhitney had let down the anchor and, carrying Gourry between them, Lina and Zel had used levitation to take themselves up the rise and set themselves down in snow that was at least three feet deep. Slogging through it was not a real option, and so they'd combined their forces into a larger Ray-wing bubble, and were speeding themselves across the snow as best they could. Gourry had fallen asleep, wrapped in his cloak, and Zel couldn't blame him. The sky was still dark, and although they'd been at it for hours, the snow seemed endless.

"How far do you think we have to go?" Lina whispered.

"I have no idea."

"Sooner or later, we'll have to stop and make camp. We need to rest and refuel ourselves after this."

"Give it another hour." Zel kept his eyes on the scenery in front of them, making sure to dodge any obstacles that came into their path. He wasn't willing to stop yet. Had he been alone, nothing would have stopped him from going all the way in one long push. Still, he knew that Lina's idea was better, and more logical; it was merely the loss of time that it required that he didn't want to deal with.

"I'm game for that." she replied. "I'd like to see if we can get closer too. It'll make things a lot easier."

And as she said that, the ground seemed to fall away beneath them. Both of them noticed and looked up, simultaneously bringing the bubble to a screeching halt.

"L...sama..."Zel breathed.

It seemed they'd been flying over some sort of plateau, and now had reached the end where it gave way to a massive plane of ice. And ahead of them, floating above the it like some gigantic, evil god-knew-what, was the black, spiked castle of the Supreme King.

If the mountains of ice had clawed at the sky, this monstrous creation speared through it, burying its shadowed spires in the dark clouds. It radiated horror and mayhem, something that seemed to disturb the sleeping swordsman, who awoke with a start and joined them in staring terrified at the fortress.

"Is that..." He didn't need to finish; he knew the answer. They all knew.

"R-retreat." Lina's voice was forced. "We're going back and making camp away from this."

Zel didn't even respond before quickly turning them back around, taking them back up onto the plateau. Glimpsing a spot where an ice mountain provided a small overhang, he pointed it out, and they guided the spell there. Once beneath it, they set up their small tent in record time and didn't speak until they were all inside and another heat spell had been cast over them.

"I never thought it would look like that."Gourry's voice was hushed.

"It's enormous." Lina seconded. "And I'll bet the inside is a complete maze."

"Wonderful." Zel sighed.

"Look, we're not going to think about that yet. The first thing we do is find a way in, and then we go from there. And I don't know about the two of you," the small sorceress looked at the two men. "But I am not going to go in there without a little bit of food and sleep. We're here, we can take a moment. It won't do us any good if we go charging in there right now."

"I agree." Gourry said. "Let's take a few hours off and just stay here."

Relunctantly, Zel nodded and pulled out his bedroll. As if he would be able to sleep when they were this close. Considering that thought, he cleared his throat.

"If we're going to sleep, we should put someone on watch. I'd be glad to." His companions took a moment to regard him. "What?"

"How do we know you aren't going to go running off in there alone?"

"Lina, I gave you my word back in Ferpeg. We'll go together. You sleep, and I'll watch."

"Fine. I'll do it second and Gourry can go third." she yawned, snuggling deep into her bedroll and closing her eyes.

Her lover followed suit almost immediately, and once they were asleep, Zel quietly opened the tent flap and looked out over the snow. The outline of the castle was dimly visible against the dark sky, and that alone was enough to send more shivers down his spine.

Alive or dead, Amelia was in there.

Letting the flap fall down again, he sighed and took hold of the hilt of his sword. He had no intention of waking up his friends, absolutely certain that sleep was an impossibility for him at this point. Not when they were this close. Not now.

Closing his eyes for an instant, he tried to call up the last vestiges of his memories of her...and very nearly choked when the blurry image his mind supplied him with was not his friend in her white traveling outfit... No, she seemed to be wearing something blue.

Blue? She had never worn anything blue. Not that he could remember, at least.

_So this is it, _he thought glumly. _I've finally lost it._

Folding his other hand around the sword hilt, he unsheathed it and stabbed it into the ground in front of himself, resting his forehead against the place where his hands came together on the double guard.

When he finally stirred from that position, it was a long time later, and only to find Lina glaring at him, her mouthing forming the word "Jerk" which came fuzzily into his ears.

"Thanks for waking us up."she scowled a little. "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty. Dark or not, it's time to go."

That one word brought consciousness crashing upon him, and he sat up straight before following the sorceress from the tent. Gourry was already outside, adjusting his cloak more closely around his body. Taking a deep breath, Zel looked up at the sky and took one step towards the Dark Lord's lair.

"Let's do it."


	14. 13 Figurelo Fuera Figure It Out

One day late. Not so bad. E-mail change is complete! Sorry again if I missed you! As always, thanks for the reviews!

**Gerao-A** - Sorry, Air Jay, didn't know you when I was writing it. ;)p Here's your fight, guys!  
**Seygram 13** - That's very clever. I hadn't actually thought of it. Although Amedyn hasn't entirely thought that far ahead. She's also following Dynast's plan. ;) Gourry eventually gets through to Lina, it just takes a while. As for Zel, you'll find out now. And is Sherra's sword a Mazoku itself? I didn't know that. I was familiar with the rhetoric that it turned humans into lesser demons, but I didn't know about that. Huh. Thanks for all the interest you've taken in my story!  
**Klutz82** - And boom! hugs You're so great, you know that?  
**Hoshi-chan1**- Hopefully this will be worth the anticipation! I hope I didn't miss you on e-mail!

-------

Part XIII - Figurelo Fuera (_Figure It Out_)

_"These precious things  
Let them bleed  
Let them wash away...  
Let them break their hold on me..."  
- "Precious Things", Tori Amos_

-------

A Ray-Wing carried them to the ground underneath the castle. From there, Gourry latched onto Lina's waist as she and Zel each cast levitation and slowly made their way up the castle, looking for an entrance.

"You know what this reminds me of?"she asked as casually as she could, never taking her eyes from the black ice before them. "When we were in Sairaag, looking for a way into Phibrizzo's temple."

"I remember that well."

"I don't. Was I there?"

"Er...sort of..." Lina reached back and tousled Gourry's hair. Now was not the time to discuss that.

Up, they went. Up and up and... dammit, there had to be some way into this thing...

"Isn't that a balcony?"

"Huh? Where?" Zel whirled towards Gourry, who, with one arm tightly squeezed around Lina's waist, pointed off to his right side with a somewhat unsteady hand.

"I think it is."Lina broke into a shaky smile. "Let's go."

They shifted paths, diagonally up and to the right, finally coming to said balcony. Dropping down on behind the railing, they stood for a moment, nodded to each other, and moved forward. And all came crashing down on top of one another.

"Ice? No fair!"

"Lina, get off my arm."

"Zel...your foot...is in a very bad place..."

"Oops, sorry..."

The next few minutes were spent untangling themselves and helping one another to regain their footing.

"Shit." Zel dug the heel of his boot into the slick flooring. "This is going to be slow going."

"Then we'd better start now." Gourry said, and made his way to the gaping doorway that led into the castle, disappearing into shadows.

His lover and friend followed after, and ran into him, knocking them all down once again.

"Wow."Lina rolled her eyes. "This sucks. Why the hell did you stop?"

"I didn't know which way to go."Gourry mumbled from under her arm. "Now would you move?"

As before, they clambered apart, and once righted, looked back and forth down the hallways.

"I say left." declared the sorceress.

Zel and Gourry exchanged a look, then started walking to the right.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" she scrambled after them. "What's the matter with you two?"

"I just felt better about this way, that's all." Zel shrugged. "If it doesn't get us anywhere, we'll go your way."

Lina scowled, but didn't protest. And thus they walked to the right.

And walked.

And walked.

"It would be nice if we knew where we were going." Gourry mused.

"Well, wherever it is, we have to get there sooner or later. This corridor can't go on forever."

About a hundred yards behind them, a shape appeared, moving silently after. A secretive smile broke free and lavender eyes flashed. Good for them for making it this far. Now he just needed to wait for the fight to begin.

-------

Amedyn crouched at the foot of the stairs that led to Dynast's throne. She was alone in the great hall; her Master had his own game plan, and Grou and Grau were in the halls just beyond, waiting for some sign from him.

She was to be the first to encounter them.

And they were _so close_.

Dolgofar's song had picked up within her the moment they'd arrived. The instant his cursed foot had touched the floor, she knew it. Every sense and reflex and nerve in her body had come alive and was waiting for him. Her heartbeat seemed to echo through the empty room, and her breathing was ragged in her ears. Adrenaline pounded through her with incredible force, and anticipation kept her twisting the diamond ring around her finger, the only way to keep her shaking hands from her sword.

Her whole body jerked as the sound of footsteps reached her ears.

_Dynast-sama, give me strength... This is it, Zelgadis Graywords. Now you die._

-------

"Does this end?" Gourry sighed. "I'm tired of looking at the same walls."

"Sooner or later, we'll have to come to some kind of door." Lina said, playing with the strings of her cloak.

"Wait..."Zel held up a hand. "Do you hear that? The sounds have changed. We're coming to a large room."

Gourry took another step, then nodded.

"He's right. It's echoing more now."

"So we're close, then." Lina said thoughtfully. "Well, close to what, we don't know. But it's bound to be something."

They started walking again, and within moment, the corridor opened into a huge hall. Both men drew their swords, and Lina readied a fireball. Moving slowly and keeping close together, they moved further into the large room.

As they reached the middle, the blue torches on each of the pillars flared up suddenly, revealing the room with their ghostly light. On guard immediately, they studied their surroundings, until all eyes fell upon the empty throne and the person below it. But as they stood up, Zel was the first to realize that it wasn't a person so much as a nightmare.

"Oh my god..." Lina and Gourry inadvertently spoke together.

But Zel was speechless. There weren't words to describe the horrific sight before him.

She had become even more of a woman during her absence, filling out perfectly the oddly familiar blue coat she wore. Her step was one of confidence, of grace -she moved as if there was no such thing as ice, no chance of ever falling. Her lips were pulled back in a smile that once was defined as beautiful- now it was just frightening. For that smile set off the eyes that should have been the color of sky, but were now a sharp, clear silver-gray.

"I've been waiting for you." she said.

And the vision of blasphemy was complete when the voice that came to him was Amelia's.

This monster, this shadow, was using her voice.

This monster, this shadow...was Amelia.

She was...and she wasn't. She was everything Amelia never could have been and yet everything he knew she could have been capable of. This was her impossible evil twin... herself, as shaped by hell.

"Amelia." the word slipped out of Gourry's mouth.

She looked at him sharply, coming to a defiant stance with one hand resting on her sword.

"Amelia? I'm sorry, but you've got it all wrong. Amelia is dead. She has been for quite some time."

A shuddering gasp burst from Zel's throat, and the eyes of both Gourry and Lina snapped to him. He couldn't have been right...

The young woman who was and wasn't their friend swept her left arm across her body and made a dramatic court bow to them.

"You may call me Amedyn, the General of Dynast Grausherra. The one who will take your lives."

Lina reached over and tightly gripped Zel's shoulder, but the chimera didn't move. He was frozen to that spot, just staring... Staring as his mind processed that what he'd known had been right all along. Oh gods, she was dead. Oh gods... she was right there... His eyes locked onto hers and for one instant, he felt he might break down sobbing. Her eyes should have been blue. _They should have been blue!_ Oh gods, look what they'd all done to her...

Amedyn's lip curled up in a smirk, and gripped Dolgofar's hilt.

Gourry noticed this, and tackled his friends with a shout, carrying them out of the path of the sword as it whistled down in the place where they'd been a second before.

"FIREBALL!" Lina cried, aiming the spell at Amedyn as they slid across the floor.

The small girl knocked the spell out of the way with her sword and her grin grew even more broad.

"I'm not concerned with you right now, Lina Inverse. I want Zelgadis Graywords."

Lina opened her mouth to retort, but it died inside her as Zel stood unsteadily, pulling off his thick cloak and dropping it to the side.

"What do you want with me?"

She laughed - formerly a sweet sound that now seemed torture to his ears.

"I want your blood to stain my sword and my clothes. I want your body torn to shreds lying before me on the ground." Still grinning, she raised her left hand and, without taking her eyes off him, kissed the diamond ring she wore on her wedding finger. "I want you to see that your Amelia is gone, and that if you want to be with her, dying under my sword is the only way."

Zel's entire body focused on that one motion she made.

The ring.

She was still wearing the ring.

Oh.

Gods.

Look what that ring had done to her. This was all started because of that damn thing. Because he had never been there, never told her. He'd let her get away, and the moment she put that ring on, everything had gone to hell.

No, it wasn't the ring.

It was him.

He'd made her into this.

L-sama...what had he done to her?

"Draw your sword, Graywords. Or will you die without a fight?"

Half his mouth moved up in a smile as she spoke. The irony was just so great. Here she was, the waking image of the Justice-loving Princess of Seyruun, holding a weapon she'd sworn never to touch, demanding his blood in death instead of his heart in life.

He didn't hear Gourry's shout, but somehow managed to get his sword out and block her attack the instant before the blade met his skull. The force of the collision drove him back, and before he could blink she was on him again, slicing, feinting, moving with speed that reminded him of Gourry turned dark and female. As she slashed again, he almost felt compelled to send a prayer of thanks to Rezo for giving him his chimera speed -without it, he would surely be dead.

Lina and Gourry were on their feet now, and the sorceress again prepared a spell.

"Lina, you can't! What if you hit Zel?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"I-"

His answer was prevented by a stream of flying ice that erupted between them. They jumped apart, and landed facing two newcomers to the scene.

Grou pulled back from the stance wherein he'd cast the spell and stood tall next to his partner.

"I'm sorry," Grau's grin was broad. "But we really can't let you interfere."

"Dynast's priests." Lina half-smiled, placing her hands on her hips. "I was wondering if we'd get to meet you."

"Oh, we never miss a good party." Grou leaned his elbow on Grau's shoulder. "And since we didn't get to chat in Seyruun, we wanted to make sure to introduce ourselves here."

"Gourry Gabriev." Grau moved toward him, seeming to draw a sword from thin air. "My name is Grau. Your swordsmanship is of great note, and I haven't had a good fight in centuries." She held her weapon up in a salute. "Shall we?"

Gourry watched her, not quite sure what to make of this development, but after a moment, returned the salute. And then he was fighting for his life as she, like Amedyn, launched herself at him.

Lina watched them take to fighting, then rounded on Grou.

"And I assume that it'll be you and I then."

"Good call. I'm Grou, and it's a pleasure."

"The pleasure's all mine." she responded. "Now tell me, should I kill you outright, or would you like to play around for a while?"

"Don't be so cocky!" Grou pretended to scold her, then began a spell. "We'll see how this turns out. DYNAST BRAS!"

"FLARE ARROW!"

-------

"_Wah! He's so creepy-looking!_"

"_Life is wonderful!"_

Her feet barely seemed to touch the ground. She was practically flying around him, fading in and out to either side, striking at him as if she'd held a sword from the moment she was born. Silver and blue and black and the glimmer of diamond were the colors that streaked by him as he used every ounce of strength within him to hold back her vicious assault.

"_In the name of Justice..."_

"_He can't be a villain! He's wearing white! Villains always wear black!_"

She dropped back a moment, breathing hard, but aside from that, completely unscathed. Zelgadis felt blood dripping down his cheek and knew that wasn't the only mark she'd made on him. A wound on his upper arm screamed at him, and adrenaline didn't ease the pain. The sword hadn't gone into his skin deeply, but it was enough of a hurt to make his shoulder sizzle with agony as he moved. Goddamn black sword... Goddamn bastard that had given it to her.

"_I'm okay...I'm...okay..."_

"_Zelgadis-san, when this is all over, will you come to Seyruun with me?"_

This creature in front of him had her face, and her voice, but it was not her.

It could never be her.

Because Amelia would never do this to him. Amelia would never raise arms against anyone.

Amelia would never try to take apart and vanquish the few clear memories that he had left of her.

And still...still it was her. It was her in a form that made him want to cry, for what he'd done to her, for what he'd done to himself. He was fighting against his friend, his companion, the girl, no, the woman he lo-

Could he allow himself to think these things? This thing that was and wasn't her had confused him so deeply, had his mind working away and turning on itself... she would kill him if he didn't figure out what was going on.

Figure it out.

Figure it out, Zelgadis, said Gourry Gabriev.

Figure it out, Zelgadis, said Lina Inverse.

_Figure it out or you and she will both hate you forever._

"Amelia."

Amedyn raised her head and snarled at him.

"Don't use that name on me. Amelia was weak, and now she's dead." A smile that screamed of hate.

Her words dug deeply into his chest, driving stinging water into his eyes, but he held it all back by swallowing hard and focusing on standing tall despite the pain in his arm.

"If she's dead, why are you wearing something that belonged to her? Why are you wearing her ring?"

Amedyn's face became angry again.

"What are you talking about? It's _my_ ring!"

"Yes, it's your ring. Because you..." he took a deep breath. "Are Amelia."

"HOW DARE YOU!?"

"I don't care what you say."he grit his teeth and willed himself to look straight into her eyes. "You couldn't be Amedyn unless you had first been Amelia. And you are Amelia. You're a hateful nightmare of Amelia, but you're still her. I came here to get her, and I'm not leaving without her."

"You aren't leaving period!" she screamed at him, although her sword dropped a little. "I won't let you go until I've killed you for her!"

"Why?" he asked quietly.

"Why? Because she wasted so much on you! Because she used so much of that stuff that makes human pitiful and weak waiting for you. Because she is the reason I exist and you killed her."

Zel was almost afraid his teeth were going to shatter with the effort it took to hold back the wave of anguish that came over him.

"Don't you understand, Amelia?"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT NAME!"

"I never meant for this to happen... I should have said something earlier, but I didn't know, and I was afraid, and..."

"STOP TALKING AND FIGHT ME!"

"Life is wonderful."

Her large gray eyes momentarily got even wider, and then she fell to her knees, hands clamped over her ears.

"STOP! STOP STOP STOP! STOP TALKING AND FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME!"

"Amelia..."

"I'M NOT AMELIA!"

Before he could say another word, someone was standing in front of her- a handsome young man with dark hair and malicious eyes. He raised his hand, snapped his fingers, and from the corner of his eye, Zel could see the other two battles cease immediately.

Dynast looked around.

"Well, well, well. What a fine assortment of powerful people. I have to say, I'm very proud of you for making it this far. I was almost certain you'd give up back on the mainland. But that wouldn't have been very in-character of you, now would it?"

"No, it wouldn't." Lina's sassy retort came out before she even had time to think. "And I'm sure you would have been awfully disappointed if we hadn't come to visit you, huh Dynast-sama?"

"Oh, we would have crossed paths sooner or later, and I would have been willing to wait. However, for the sake of my general, I was hoping you would come sooner rather than later." He glanced down at where she knelt on the floor, hands still tight against her head. "Get up."

Slowly, her eyes opened and she raised them up to him as her hands fell away. His presence seemed to provide her with more confidence, and she stood up.

"I believe you're all familiar with one another." Dynast laid his hand on her shoulder, and Zel, watching, had to fight from running over and slapping it off. "And I thought I should inform you of a little desire you old friend has acquired. It seems she wants to kill you-"

"And I wonder who made her think that?"

In a moment, Lina was acquainted with the pain Amelia and Grau had experienced before her. She dropped to the floor with a scream, and Gourry was at her side in seconds, pulling her into his arms.

"Lina! Lina, what's wrong?"

"Please don't talk when I'm speaking to you." The Dark Lord's calm tone hadn't wavered, but he gave Lina a meaningful look before he snapped the spell off again and resumed talking. "As I was saying, Amedyn has expressed an overwhelming urge to see all of you dead. Especially our friend the chimera.

"Now before you try to interrupt me, Graywords-san, yes, I know you have no intention of being killed by her today. And I am also very aware that dealing with people such as yourselves, there is a possibility you could throw a crimp into my plans. Amedyn has proved a very useful addition to my forces, and I don't want to lose her just yet. So I am willing to make a bargain with you.

"Leave now, or stay and die."

"Not on your life." Zel found the words come without any hesitation. "I came here for Amelia, and I'm not leaving without her."

"Now, you see, I really can't let you do that. In fact it's fairly impossible. Perhaps I should say this another way." he paused, and took the silence to walk close to the shamanist. They were nearly a perfect match in height, and their eyes were directly on level with one another. "Leave, and I'll give you the thing you want most in the world."

"The...?"

"I'll give you the cure you want so badly."

The whole world outside those nine words seemed to fall away.

"My cure?"

"Don't trust him, Zel!"

"Your cure."

"ZEL!"

"If I leave...you'll give it to me?"he could hardly believe he was willing to take this bargain, but here, when the thing he'd desired for so long was suddenly so tantalizingly close...

"Leave, and it's yours. Stay for Amelia...and you'll have to kill her."

The lingering echo of his voice bounced around the room while each of the Slayers processed this information. Lina's fingers clenched tightly around Gourry's arm as both of them fixed their eyes on the chimera.

"Zel, you can't trust him!"Gourry felt his throat tighten as he spoke. "Would you leave Amelia here with him? Would you abandon her for something that might not even exist?"

Zel remained unmoved, locked eye to eye with Dynast Grausherra.

"I have the power to tell you where to find your cure. I have the knowledge and the means. All it takes is a simple word. And then it's yours."


	15. 14 Beloved Infidel

This is it, my wonderful readers. The culmination and end of the fight. It was really hard for me to write -if my memory serves me, because it was so long ago..eheh...-but I'm kind of proud of it. Be assured, however, that we are still far from the end. Hope you enjoy!

**Klutz82 **- laughs I love your eyes! I should have put a "To Be Continued..." or something, but I sort of thought it would ruin the moment. This should alleviate some of the tension...sort of...;)p  
**Gerao-A** - Evil Amelia is kinda hot, isn't she? In an effort not to torture you too much, here is Zel's decision!  
**E-chan16** - throws you a rope Stop hanging from that cliff, missy, it's dangerous! Hope you like this!  
**Seygram 13** - Wow. You're really awesome. That's some fine research you did, and it's interesting to hear that about the Gorun Nova - I'd never heard that theory before. But of course Dynast has all the advantage, and he's counting on that. As for the reversal? Who said anything about Amelia ever getting put back to the way she was? ;) Xellos' agenda should start to become fairly clear, though. Thanks as always for your close reading and interest!  
**Hoshi-chan1** - Wah, you'll make me blush...Thank you! I hope this suits your fancy as well!

-------

Part XIV- Beloved Infidel

_"Love alone,  
is the true seed of every merit in you  
and of all acts for which you must atone."  
- "Purgatorio," Dante_

-------

There shouldn't have been any reason to think about it.

There should have been one answer, and one answer alone.

Humanity or Amelia.

It should have been obvious.

And yet... yet it wasn't, and Zel's mind flew over every permutation, every subtlety of the decision he was asked to make. Idly, his mind flashed on the fact that this was one of those questions no man should have to answer. No one should have to decide between the two things he wanted most in the world.

To have skin instead of stone, hair instead of wire.

Or to have Amelia.

He was aware that Lina and Gourry were shouting at him, that the sorceress was berating him for even thinking about making this deal with the enemy. For even considering for one moment that he would leave Amelia here.

Didn't she understand?

He'd waited for this. Waited for this from the moment his grandfather had cursed him with this hideous body. It was always in the back of his mind, no matter where he was or what he was doing. The option of being human again was so great a thought... A normal man again, there were so many things he could do.

He could travel without the fearful looks he so often received.

He could look at his friends and not wonder if behind their eyes they harbored thoughts of disgust.

He could offer himself to another, unafraid of rejection because of his form.

He could finally look at Amelia and...

Wait a minute.

His train of thought came to a screeching halt.

Did he want to be human for Amelia?

_Figure it out, Zelgadis Graywords._

Was that why he'd come?

_Figure it out now._

No, he hadn't known there was that possibility. He'd come for Amelia herself, and if he left with his cure instead of her...then what was the point?

_She's just a girl._

No. No, there wasn't any point. There wasn't any reason to think anymore. He'd come for Amelia, and having his cure when she wasn't there was not worth the entire world.

She was just a girl.

But he wanted her to be _his_ just a girl.

Just a girl who belonged to him, because he loved her.

There it was.

He'd figured it out.

"I'm not leaving."

His statement hung in the air for a moment as Dynast's eyes flashed with surprise, then narrowed the slightest bit, and Gourry and Lina let out the breaths they'd been holding for what seemed like forever.

"Well then..." the Dark Lord said icily as he stepped aside, leaving Zel to look straight at Amedyn. "Kill her."

"No!" he cried as he parried a sudden thrust from the girl.

"You don't have any other option." Dynast stepped back further from the fight. "You made your choice. Enjoy the consequences."

And with the new revelation of his feelings ringing throughout his head, Zelgadis Graywords was forced to raise his sword and charge at the monster that was the woman he loved.

-------

As soon fight between Amedyn and Zel restarted, Gourry wasted to no time jumping to his feet and pulling Lina up with him. Back to back, they stood, each glaring at their Mazoku opponent as they glared back, waiting for someone to make the first move.

But none of them swayed an inch.

Until Gourry realized that the mumbling sound behind him wasn't from his imagination. No it was Lina, and Lina was mid-way through a long spell.

"...I pledge myself to darkness. Those who oppose us shall..."

Grau suddenly understood what she was doing and, well aware that Grou was still uninformed, made a lunge for her.

"You little bitch, you're not going to finish that spell!"

But Gourry's sword appearing in her path right out of nowhere prevented her from getting past him.

"I thought you wanted to fight me."he smiled, and then drove her back and away from Lina with quick strikes.

"..The power that you and I POSSESS! DRAGON SLAVE!"

The explosion of power from her hands caught the priest entirely by surprise, and carried him back, back, back through at the least three of the hall's huge pillars and finally smashing him into the far wall.

"GROU!" his partner shrieked, her eyes huge and her sword faltering.

The blond swordsman stared at her, then made another strike which she blocked only a hair's width away from her head. She'd seemed to forget all about him, her eyes darting back and forth between their fight and the one behind him.

Lina took a few steps towards the first pillar as it came crashing down in front of her. Had that killed him? Well, it was a possibility, but thinking back to when they'd fought Saygram in the Temple of Sand, she wasn't too sure.

Her instincts proved her right as Grou, looking more than a little worse for wear, faded in before her. With the back of his hand, he wiped away a large trickle of black blood that was oozing from the corner of his mouth.

"Not good enough, short stuff." he sneered. "FREEZE ARROW!"

"BALUS WALL!" She easily deflected the blow. "ELEMEKIA LANCE!"

Due to his weaked state, that spell hit home as well, and Grau's sword slipped a little, earning her a wound in the side which she quickly healed. But she didn't take care of it before something occurred to Gourry. Without a word, he spun away from her and swung at Grou just as he readied another attack.

"You Jellyfish! What are you doing?!"

"They react to each other's getting hurt. Get that big spell sword thing ready, and I'll take care of her."

Trusting him completely on just those simple words, Lina began chanting the Ragna Blade as Gourry deflected another swing from Grau that could have easily severed his lover's neck.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" The priestesses eyes began to glow red, and long claws extended from her free hand. "I'll kill you before you get the chance to hurt him again!"

Her anger, however, proved to throw her off-balance in more ways than one, and a well placed kick to her mid-section sent her sprawling across the floor.

Grou, crouching on the floor, worked up his last reserves of strength as the short red-head in front of him neared the end of her spell. But just before he could speak, he saw his partner fall, and the sound died in his throat.

"RAGNA BLADE!"

He barely heard the nightmare blade cut the air apart before it entered his body and make a diagonal incision from his shoulder to his hip. His eyes went wide and he coughed, more blood running down his chin as his breath came in heaving gasps.

Lina backed away, waiting for the spell to take its full effect, and was nearly bowled over by something that moved past her at tremendous speed. When she next blinked, she found Grau holding her companion's head against her chest. Confused, she looked to Gourry who merely shrugged.

"Guess I was... a little bit... careless, huh?" Grou tried to laugh, but it was a hollow, vile sound.

"Shut up and let me heal you."Grau swallowed hard. "Move your hand."

"I can do it for myself...really..."

"I know..."she whispered, and linked her fingers through his. "I know." Squeezing her eyes shut, she made an almost imperceptible movement with her head, and began to say a spell.

"Wh-what the hell....do you think you're doing?"Grou's eyes were wide. "You can't possibly control that by...by..."

"I don't intend to do it myself. You're going to help me. Come on."

Grou gripped her hand tightly, and nodded. A black aura suddenly flared up around them, growing larger as every word they spoke together became louder. It danced around them like burning shadows, and their tendrils reached towards the sorceress and swordsman.

"Oh, shit, Gourry MOVE!"

"..and by your power, we take our enemies with us. SHADOW IMMOLATION!"

Lina dove at Gourry, taking out his legs and sending them skidding across the icy ground as a huge wall of black flame exploded in the place where they'd been standing. A roaring sound rose as Lina pressed tightly against her guardian for what seems like an eternity, but could only have been a few seconds.

When it ceased, she sat up slowly. There was no sign of either of the priests, save for Grau's abandoned sword laying on the floor. Gourry stirred next to her, and after a moment his hand closed around hers.

She opened her mouth to speak, and he shook his head.

"You don't need to say anything."

"What in gods name is this?"

They both jumped at the sharp voice behind them, finding Dynast standing above Grau's sword, seething with anger.

"What did those two do?"

The fire behind his eyes told them he wasn't going to wait for an answer.

And he didn't.

-------

If there were worse things than having to fight and kill the person that you loved in order to save them, Zelgadis wanted to know what they were.

The wound in his arm hissed with deadly fury at him, and the air seemed to gasp as Amedyn's sword sliced through it, each stroke intended to take away his life.

For a moment, he almost wished he'd taken Dynast's deal. At least then he wouldn't have had to do this to her. But a voice within chided him. Could he really have left her here like this?

Left her alive in this form that was utter sacrilege to what his friend had been?

No, he couldn't. No. So he stayed, and blocked and parried, and wanted to die because he wanted her to die.

_I wish there had been a better way to figure out I loved her._

It came and went so quickly, he barely knew it had been there, and yet the words left a fiery trail across his mind. It had taken this to make him see. He had been driven to the brink of insanity all to come to accept those three little words.

It had taken Amelia's life to make him see.

And now he had no choice but to take it back by taking it from her.

Using all his weight, he blocked her next strike and shoved her back, causing her to lose her footing and stumble away. Zel gasped from the effort and bowed his head.

"Are you finally going be serious about this?" she asked, voice full of spite. "It's been far too easy."

"Did this all really have to happen?"

The question caught her off guard and it took her an instant to realize that he wasn't so much asking her as he was asking himself.

"What are you doing?"she cocked her head to one side and watched him.

"I really have to kill you, don't I?" he raised his head to see her. Amelia's body with a black soul. His Amelia...

She was immediately defensive.

"I don't plan on letting you kill me!"

"I wish I could have told you sooner. I wish I could have known sooner."

"Why do you persist in talking during a fight?! You can't throw me off-guard with your pathetic self-pity!"

Except, Zel knew, he had. She had made the smallest shift in her stance; the blade had lower a mere fraction of a fraction of a millimeter. Talking like this would give him the opening he needed. It would give him his only chance.

"I wish it hadn't come to this. I wish I could have loved you before all this happened."

Amedyn sucked in a quick breath, everything her body was screaming at that one syllable of "love."

"I'm so sorry, Amelia." he whispered.

The Mazkou general heard rather than saw the chimera take three incredibly fast steps, and then something was thrust through her body, a hand came down over her heart, and two words made the world break apart.

"RAH-TILT!"

Zel concentrated the entire energy of the spell into the hand that rested over her breast. He felt her body give just the slightest bit, as it had when he'd stuck his sword through her.

_Did it work? Did I win?_

He had to know, and despite the extreme terror he felt in doing so, he gazed into her wrongfully silver eyes for a brief moment...

And then a black cone broke through her sternum. Zel drew in a horrified gasp, and raised his head to see the purple orbs of Xellos Metallium staring directly back at him.

"You."Zel snarled as the Beastmaster's priest stepped back, the cone disappearing, leaving a gaping hole behind.

"I can explain." Xellos said.

But before he made another sound, Amedyn... Amelia slid backwards off Zel's sword and slumped to the floor without a sound.

-------

_You killed her._

_You killed her again._

_Amelia is dead, and you're the one who killed her. _

_Not once, but twice._

_Not for now, but for all time._

His hands shook. His breathing was sharp and quick. His arm stung and the sword was heavy in his nerveless fingers. On the floor in front of him lay the dead body of his enemy and friend, blood pooling behind her. Blood that wasn't black like it should have been, but pure, horrible red.

"I can explain." Xellos repeated.

"I don't want to hear it."

"You wouldn't have been able to kill her by yourself. It wouldn't-"

"SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

His shout echoed violently, and Zel realized the other action in the room had stopped. He turned slightly, finding Lina and Gourry staring straight at him. Their eyes moved from him to the corpse on the floor, and Lina went pale.

It was then that he also noticed that Dynast had Gourry by the throat, and that the Dark Lord was looking at him too. He let go off the swordsman, and Gourry sagged to the floor.

"Xellos Metallium." Dynast's very words seemed daggers. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"Consider me an ambassador from my mistress." Xellos bowed, giving the same mocking smile he'd shown Gaav so long ago. "Who is very upset that you decided not to tell her what you planned to do with the princess."

"And so you took it upon yourself to come and interrupt my plans." his smile was sour. "I'll bet you even told them how to get here, didn't you? Well, well. I have to admit, this was the one thing I hadn't counted on. I should have known better. I should have known your FUCKING WHORE OF A MISTRESS WOULD SEND YOU HERE!"

A huge burst of power crashed into the wall behind Xellos, and then it was Dynast himself behind him, blurry with shadow, digging newly grown claws into the other Mazoku's neck.

"Give her this to show her I send my regards." With a back-handed slap, he sent Xellos smashing into yet another pillar.

Breathing hard, Dynast let his form condense again, trying to maintain the illusion of dignity. He looked down at the body at his feet.

"This was something else I didn't expect. I didn't expect my two priests would be stupid enough to do that spell and die together. I didn't expect Amedyn.."he punctuated the word with a sharp kick to the girl's head. "To die so easily! I should have known she would fail me like the rest. I should have known I would have to kill you all myself."

Grabbing her by the collar, Dynast picked up his general and threw her aside, eliciting enraged sounds from the chimera and the two people who had come to stand behind him.

"How dare you..."Zel ran forward, sword high and glowing red with the enchantment Astral Vine. "HOW DARE YOU, YOU GODDAMN-"

"TRY IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, MORTAL!"

The chimera was struck in the chest by a powerful blast, and crashed backwards into his friends.

"Dammit, Zel!"Lina snapped. "You can't do that! We have to think this through!"

"I don't care about thinking!"he bit back at her. "I want him to die!"

Space shifted, and Xellos faded in beside their heap, kneeling down.

"Lina-san, I think that if you're planning on killing him, it's going to take a lot of powerful spells from the Astral plane and the Ragna Blade."

"Are you listening to that, Zel?!" Lina beat at his back as he struggled to get up.

"Yes, and I don't care! LET ME KILL HIM!"

"NO!" Gourry grabbed his friend's ankle and bodily dragged him back. "Zel, if you want to avenge Amelia, then stop being stupid and listen to Lina!"

"Let go of me before I hurt you, Gourry!"

"Listen to Lina before we all die."his voice was grave, and Zel lay still.

"What?"

"How many Rah-Tilts do you think you can pull off in a row?"she asked.

"I don't know,"he spat bitterly. " I've never bothered to find out."

"Well you damn well better cast as many as you can or-"

She was cut off as Gourry threw himself on top of her to protect her from chunks of falling pillar that were dislodged by another spell from Dynast.

"You stupid meddling humans. This was perfect. From the day Lina Inverse killed Sherra, I planned this out. And you had to come and go completely against what I had prepared for you.

"As a reward for that, I'm going to change my plans to better suit you. I'm going to do what Gaav and Hellmaster were never able to do, and eliminate all of you with a single blow." Dynast began to blur again, shifting partly into shadow as he started a new spell. "Swirling darkness at the ends of the universe, unending mass of impossible light..."

"L-sama..."Xellos said quietly. "Lina-san, Zelgadis-san, get ready with your most powerful shields. He's using one of Her spells."

"WHAT?!"the two chorused.

"Huh?" Gourry asked.

"Never mind, just do it!" Xellos stepped in front of them, holding his staff parallel to the floor with both hands as Lina and Zel joined him. Gourry moved securely behind them.

"In thy great name, I pledge myself to your eternal power. Let the fools that stand in front of me be annihilated by the power that you and I possess." A dark sphere, crackling with midnight-colored lightning grew larger and larger as he spoke. And then, with eyes glowing brilliant crimson, he unleashed it at them. "FINAL STAR!"

Had they been one second later in throwing up their shields, they would have certainly been killed. The impact alone pushed them back and sent bolts of pain through their protective walls and up their arms. Xellos braced himself on the ground, Lina bit her lip to keep from crying out, Gourry knelt behind them, and Zel stared straight forward into the Nightmare magic. And miraculously, against all odds... the shield held.

A thousand years passed in those few moments as the world should have collapsed around them.

But there was silence.

"HOW YOU POSSIBLY DEFLECT THAT?!"

That scream was more than enough for the Slayers to know that Dynast was beyond anger.

"GO ZEL! DO IT!"

"RAH -TILT!"

The enraged Dark Lord batted the spell away and whirled to slash at Xellos who was descending, staff raised, behind him. The priest faded away, and Gourry jumped at Dynast with a yell, swinging his sword down. Dynast grabbed it by the blade and flung him aside.

"Do it again, Zel!"

Already breathing hard from the first attack, Zel drew himself up and fired off the most powerful Astral Plane attack once more.

"This is for AMELIA! RAH-TILT!"

Dynast held up his hand and the spell harmlessly passed around it. When it had dissipated, he took a step back and started the large spell again.

"Stupid, interfering humans...Let's see if your shield holds together this time..."

Swallowing back the blood he could taste rising in his throat, Zel looked at Lina, who nodded and began the Ragna Blade chant once more. Feeling unsteady on his feet, he threw out the spell again.

"This is for what you did to her! RA-TILT!"

"What I did to her?"the voice was much deeper, and the shadows that surrounded and were his body grew darker as the spell collided with them. "You did it to her yourself." His eyes were trained on Zelgadis, boring into him. "Don't you see that? Everything that's happened here...it's all because of you. Your friends will die because of you. You'll die because of your own pathetic mistakes. Don't you see? In the end, this is all you are."

Zel wanted to listen to Gourry screaming at him to ignore the Mazoku, but just couldn't. Those were his own words, spoken to Lina such a long time ago, now thrown back in his face.

Gods, it was so true...He dropped to his knees.

And was forcefully yanked back up by the back of his cape by Gourry.

"Godsdammit Zel, STOP LISTENING TO HIM!" his friend shook him. "Stop it and do this for Amelia. Figure it out and do it for her before her death becomes a complete waste!" Gourry shoved him forward. "DO THE SPELL AGAIN!"

Nodding dumbly, Zel raised his hands once more, well aware that within the next few seconds either Lina would finish the Ragna Blade or Dynast would kill them here and now.

"And this...THIS IS FOR ME! RAH-TILT!"

He'd barely let the spell go before he collapsed, and a red object streaked forward, sword held high.

"RAGNA BLADE!"

As it had on Gaav, and as it had on Grou not too long before, the sword of that could shatter the souls of the gods slashed across Dynast's body. His spelled winked out instantly, and he let out an ear-piercing sound that turned into hysterical, desperate laughter.

"Don't think that that's enough, Lina Inverse! Don't think I don't know you can't pull that off again! Your lives are mine!" His human-like body abandoned, the Supreme King became nothing but a huge shadowy mass, surrounding them in a dark mist.

"Not yet..."Lina gasped. "I have one more chance..."

"Wait, Lina!" Gourry grabbed one of her shoulder guards. "You can't!"

"What do you mean I can't?!"

"What do you mean she can't?!" Xellos said simultaneously. "Gourry-san, she has to do this now!"

"No, the last hit should be-"

But Lina didn't hear him, racing through the Dragon Slave as if her life depended on it -which it did. Behind her, Gourry was dragging Zel to his feet, telling him he had to do it one last time, please, to hurry, if he wanted to avenge Amelia, he needed to-

"DRAGON SLAVE!"

Black magic's best weapon, emitted from Lina's hands in a perfect beam of light, disappeared into the shadows that encircled them, and for a moment no one dared to breathe or think.

A sound started up slowly, gaining momentum until it became a crescendo of ear-splitting screams. The shadow wall wound around them tightly, smothering them, choking them...

And then it was gone.

Lina Inverse shakily stepped forward and took a look around.

"He's...gone..."

"Banished to the astral plane, at the very least." Xellos said quietly. "And it will be a very long time before he builds up enough power to move at all."

Slowly, she broke into a grin, and spun around to stumble into Gourry's arms.

"We did it, Gourry."

He crushed her to him, but didn't say a word. When she pulled back she asked softly "Why did you try to stop me?"

Gourry took a deep breath.

"The last hit should have been Zel's."he said quietly, and pointed behind himself to the place where the chimera knelt by a small, crumpled form.


	16. 15 De Profundis Out of the Depths

This is me doing everything in my power to avoid starting my 5 page Japanese paper. Mmm...avoiding. Anyway, this is one of my personal favorite chapters, and hopefully it'll be a little more..uplifting? than the last few.

**Klutz82** - But? But she's dead, right? We'll see. I like getting into Zel's head and kicking stuff around.;)p  
**Gerao-A** - I reveal nothing!  
**Seygram 13** - You're brilliant, you know? Dynast didn't really have many options at that point, though, and I think he was starting to lose it. Imagine years of planning screwed up by the one thing you'd forgotten to take into account... What has really happened to him, though? That remains to be seen. Thanks for your amazingness as always. :)  
**Lyra Pelgina** - Hi, welcome abroad! And AAH! What on earth possessed you to do that? Your poor brain! Here, I give this to you as a reward and thanks! Hope you like!

-------

Part XV- De Profundis (_Out of the Depths_)

"_I must have retribution, or I shall destroy myself. And retribution not somewhere in the infinity of space and time, but here on earth, and so that I could see it myself."_

_- "The Brothers Karamazov," Dostoevsky_

-------

How long had it been since the first time he'd laid eyes on her? Gods, it had to have been a lifetime ago.

Zel shook his head a little and almost smiled as he reached a hand that trembled fiercely out to rest on her hair. No, longer than that. They'd done and seen more than most people would in a hundred years.

How long had it been since the first time he'd heard her voice as more than just that of an annoying little princess? Ah...he didn't know. It wasn't something that could be consciously remembered, because it had been an unconscious decision.

Unconscious decisions seemed to work better for him than the ones he knowingly made.

Because when he was awake and thinking, he made people hurt.

He hurt them so badly that the gods looked down on him and took them away before he could make it better again.

They'd done that now.

He was kneeling in her blood. He could feel it seeping into his beige pants, spreading out across the fabric. He could smell it's sharp metallic odor, the scent of life and death.

_Do you see what you've done? When you're awake and thinking, you make decisions like this! _

But...but it had been the only decision he could have ever made. How long could he have let her live here with a Dark Lord before going completely insane that he'd abandoned her?

_You see? There wasn't anything else I could have done..._

Except to not have let it happen in the first place.

Too late.

His eyes burned, and sudden floods pushed forward to put the fires out. He didn't so much feel the tears sliding down his face as see them make gentle water stains as they landed on his thigh, and on the blue fabric that covered her shoulder. He sniffed, holding back his tears once, twice...and then they wouldn't obey and came out in a violent sob as his fingers combed through her dark hair. There wasn't any other way to inform the world of the intense, unquenchable sorrow that had consumed his body in such a short time.

His arms raised her from her crimson pool and crushed her close to him, head tucked under his chin where she would be safe and protected and...dead.

There weren't any words to bring her back, were there?

"Oh, gods, Amelia..."

His tears were all the more bitter when realization slowly dawned on him that although he'd tried to set it right, he hadn't been the one to avenge her. Xellos...Xellos had killed her as well. And Lina had taken his victory away from him. Lina had gotten to give Dynast the final blow.

And what had Zelgadis Graywords done to save Amelia?

Nothing, he'd done nothing.

Even the sense of retribution was denied him.

He could hear soft voices behind him. Gods, they must be pitying him. Damn them, they'd never understood. They'd never understood before, how could they expect to now?

Amelia's body rose and fell against him in rough patterns with his breathing. And though his knees were hurting, his arm cried out in agony, and her warm blood was endlessly dyeing every inch of his clothes, he wanted nothing more than to stay there and hold her forever.

"Zelgadis-san."

It was the voice of the man who shouldn't have been there. And as quickly as he'd decided he could never let go of her, Zel gently laid Amelia down and then whirled on Xellos Metallium, knocking him to the ground.

"YOU BASTARD!" He punched the Mazoku, the deep purple bruise vanishing quickly with his healing abilities, encouraging another strike, which Zel happily obliged. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING, TOUCHING HER?!"

"Zelgadis-san, wait a minute!"

"NO! GODDAMMIT, WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE MY REVENGE AWAY FROM ME?!"

"ZEL, STOP!"

Gourry caught his arm as it came down for another strike and pulled his friend off the Mazoku.

"Gourry, let go of me before I hurt you too!"

"Try it and see what happens to you, Zel." Lina leaned down in front of him.

"Don't. Even. Speak. To. Me."he growled, and struggled against the hold. "Let me kill him for killing her."

"Zelgadis-san.."Xellos sat up, "I tried to tell you this before. You wouldn't have been able to kill her yourself."

"Why couldn't you let me try?!"

"I did let you try. You came very close, too, but my helping you was the only chance."

"I don't care! LET GO OF ME!"

"I'm not going to, Zel."

"Dammit Gourry! Don't you understand?! No, how could you? LET GO!" In truth, Zel could have easily broken the swordsman's hold, but the frantic sobbing returned with a vengeance and he simply sagged downward. "Don't you understand what you've taken away from me? Lina...It was supposed to be my hit...I was supposed to kill him..."

"I...I know, Zel."her voice was quiet. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry really doesn't help. It's never helped! I'M SORRY AND LOOK WHAT IT'S GOTTEN ME!" his hands clenched on his blood-stained pants. "Look what it's gotten me...Don't you even care that she's dead?"

"Of course I care!"Lina was aghast. "Do you think it's easy for me to stand here and see her over there?"

"Zel, you know that if we could bring her back..."

The chimera didn't answer, just shook his head as he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes.

"There is a way."

"You're a liar." Zel was quick to jump on Xellos's statement.

"I'm not lying, Zelgadis-san. There is a way. I can bring her back, but..."

"Why would you want to bring her back? What was she to you?"Zel pulled his hands away and fixed red eyes on his hated ally.

"I could ask you the same thing. You never seemed to know yourself."

Zel moved to stand up, and Gourry forced him back down.

"You're not helping, Xellos."

"I would be, if you'd give me the chance. Admittedly, this is for my own reasons as well, in that my mistress has given me standing orders to see that none of you come to harm, including our fair friend here." Picking up his staff, he walked over and crouched by the fallen girl, careful not to let her blood touch him. He studied her a moment, then spoke again. "What you should understand about what's happened here is that this was not Amelia's death."

"What the hell are you taking about?" Lina's voice was devoid of it's usual bite as she stared at the little princess.

"It may have been her body's death, but the person that is Amelia is still alive. You see..."he reached out and brushed a piece of black hair from her face. "In order to make her a Mazoku, Dynast used a very powerful spell called 'Soul Shatter', which in effect removes a person's soul from their body. And since your human soul is the thing that defines who and what you are, you can understand that this means Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun is not dead."

"So what does that mean?"Gourry asked.

"It means that if I have something of hers from her life before this one, I can call her soul back into her body, and bring her back."

"You...Zel, did you hear that?!"Lina nudged him.

"I heard it. I don't believe it."

"Zel! If you want her back, it's our only chance!"

Without looking up, Zel said "There'll be some kind of catch."

"Well...yes, there is."Xellos admitted. "I will be using a Mazoku spell, and it's one that I personally have never used. And...she won't be what she used to be. She can't be."

"So she'll be just as evil as she was now. Wonderful."

"I didn't say that. What I meant was that the spell should restore her to her former self as much as possible, but you can't go through something like that without being changed. They may be very minor changes. But the point is simply this." Lavender eyes that showed no sign of lying fixed themselves on Zel. "If you want her back you have to trust me and let me do this."

A moment to decide. Another conscious decision.

_Let this one turn out better than the last..._

"What have we got to lose."

"Excellent. Now, I need something of hers."

The sorceress and the swordsman each patted themselves down and found nothing.

"I don't have anything." the red-head shrugged.

"Neither do I...Hey, Zel! You have that necklace of hers, right?"

"It was a bracelet, and no, I don't have it. I told you back in Seyruun, I lost it."

"You don't have anything?" Xellos was clearly a little surprised. "Wait, what about this ring?"

"Her ring!" Lina perked up. "She's still got it?"

"Yes, right here, on her wedding finger. I know for a fact she had this in Seyruun."

"Then that's it!"

"No."

A pause.

"Zel, it's the only thing we-"

"No, it won't be that ring. That ring started it all."

"We don't have another choice!"

"I WON'T LET YOU USE THE RING THAT TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME TO BRING HER BACK!"

"Zel..." Lina grit her teeth and knelt in front of him, taking hold of both his shoulders. "It's the only chance we have. Listen to me!" He didn't answer, and she tried to shake him. "Listen to me, you idiot!"

"...fine. Do it."

Gourry looked up from his sullen comrade and nodded to Xellos.

"Do the spell."

The Mazoku nodded, and lifted Amelia's limp arm, sliding the ring off her finger.

"Stand back."

Xellos looked down at the body on the floor. He'd had only the barest instruction of this spell from his mistress, and that had been centuries ago. He sighed, and for a moment, regretted that he couldn't disobey her orders to make sure all the Slayers came out of this alive. Nevertheless, he was sure she had greater purpose to this, and he wasn't going to go against her plans.

Closing the ring in his right hand, he concentrated on the feeble energy it produced, conjuring images from when he'd traveled with the girl...anything, even the "Life is Wonderful" song. The call for her soul went out across time and space, stretching across the boundaries of eternity, seeking for a lost princess.

"Where are you..."he murmured, reaching farther, to the darker depths of the universe where the damned played.

For a moment, he was sure his skills as the greatest of the Mazoku priests had failed him, and then a small voice very far away said "here." Grasping the essence of the voice, Xellos smiled the slightest bit, and as the ring began to warm in his hand, he set down a knee and leaned over the princess, pressing the diamond band against the hole he'd made in her chest.

Of course, Lina, Gourry, and Zel could see none of what transpired besides the violet-haired priest suddenly kneeling down. They couldn't even hear the words he was whispering, but from the way the red jewel in his staff glowed, it was clear something was going on.

And then it seemed for an instant as if all the air had been sucked from the room. The three gagged and tugged at their collars, then forgot how to move as they witnessed a flash of light over the corpse that was brighter than a thousand suns, and yet darker than the blackest pitch.

When it subsided, they found they could breathe again, and Xellos raised himself unsteadily to his feet.

"Reclamation."he said. "I've brought her back."

"You..."

Although his footing was still unsure, Xellos bent down and cradled the girl in his arms. She was still limp, but the barest tint of color was coming back to her cheeks.

"I've never used that spell, but it took hold. I had a hard time finding her- Dynast's spell worked exactly the way it was meant to. But she's back."

Zel was on his feet in a moment, bounding over to Xellos and reaching for Amelia. The Mazoku side-stepped the chimera and shifted the weight he held.

"I can't let you have her yet. She's not well in the least, and she needs to get out of here. I'll take her back to the city where you rented your boat."

"NO! Give her to me!"

"Don't be unreasonable!" Xellos laughed. "If I gave her to you, she'd die. She needs to be out of here and safely in a bed, and you can't give her that."

"And you will?" he scoffed. "I don't believe that!"

"Zelgadis-san, I have assured you that I won't let any harm come to her. Now calm down and let me take her."

"Then...then let me go with you!"

"I can't take two people at the same time.You'll just have to wait. Don't worry, she'll be in good hands."

And saying nothing more, he faded out.

"DAMN YOU!" Zel screamed, punching the ground where Xellos had stood.

He scrubbed at his face viciously -stupid tears, why did they keep coming back?- and was rewarded with a powerful sting from the cut on his face. He held his hand over it, and half-heartedly did a healing spell, but the pain didn't subside.

"Zel, you'd better go."

Gourry's gentle voice didn't move him in the least. He'd been denied his right again.

"Zel, come on."

"What is wrong with you?" Lina tugged on his arm. "We won her back! If you want to see her, you've gotta go!"

"It doesn't matter, Lina. Nothing I do matters. That stupid ring saved her, and I don't even get to be the one to take her out of here. If we've won, why do I feel like I lost? Don't you think it was my right to make this all better?"

The look in his eyes made Lina swallow hard to keep from weeping herself. She tried to speak, but when she couldn't, she simply dropped down beside him, hugging his arm.

But Gourry would not be deterred.

"It was your right, Zel. Yeah, you should have been the one to save her, and have the last hit and everything. But you didn't, and there isn't anything we can do to change the past. However, you do have one more, very, very vital role to play in this- the most important part of all, which only you can do.

"You have to be the first one she sees when she wakes up. You have to be next to her, and you have to tell her what you've figured out. You have to do that. And to do it, you have to leave now. Just use that spell and fly."

"Are you crazy?" his lover turned to him. "He can't possibly Ray-Wing himself over two weeks worth of ocean."

Gourry shrugged.

"He has to try."

Lina looked back at Zel, noticing his wounds for the first time.

"Gourry, he can't. He got hit with that sword."

"So what?"

"So it's a Mazoku sword, and if it even managed to cut him, it's serious. Zel, you need some white healing, fast."

"I tried doing it myself. It didn't work."

"Then that's even more of a reason why he has to go." Gourry took his injured arm, motioning Lina around to the other. Together, they lifted him up. "Come on, Zel, you have to do it."

And then...he completely surprised them by flashing a very small and weak, but perceptible smile.

"Did I ever say I wasn't going to?"

Feeling more than relieved, his friends let go of him, and the moment their contact ceased, the shamanist was off, running and skidding out of the hall, heading for the balcony where they'd come in.

Alone, Lina and Gourry looked at each other.

"You know he's going to kill himself getting there."

"Nah. He'll stay alive just for her. You know it."

Lina smiled and walked into her fiancee's embrace again.

"Let's get back to Dhitney's ship and sleep for a month."

"Sounds like a great idea."


	17. 16 Back to Me

Woo, this is kind of late. That's the magic of finals, I guess. Sorry that it's short. Parts of this chapter were influenced by LinaFriend's tour-de-force "Nightmares in the Apocalypse," which you should definitely read if you can still find it.

**Klutz82** - He made the right decision. ;) And even Zel can cry, if pushed far enough, long enough. Hee!  
**Lyra Pelgina **- No no, that's Gourry, the surprising voice of reason. ;) He keeps it under wraps, you know? And thank you so much! I'm really glad you've enjoyed it. It's a very special story for me. !! Would you really review my other stuff? I'd like that so much! I don't think anyone reads them anymore!  
** Kristall **- Sorry for the delay! Finals and lots of papers to write... You'll get some sense of Amelia's change here, but more will come in the next chapter. Aww...I'm not the best, but you're way too kind. ;)  
**Hoshi-chan1** - Oh, there's quite a bit more to go, don't worry. ;)  
**Gerao-A **- Do you think so? Hmm...that would be a secret, it would.  
**Seygram 13** - Ah, QP's site. Of course. Man it's been a long time since I was there. Still, even if you are just gathering facts, it's really great to know that you're interested enough to look into it. And you have Xellos down. ;) Why else would he be so helpful if he didn't have a plan like that up his sleeve? Amelia ends up a little different than that, but you can bet Seyruun probably won't be too happy. Heh heh heh...

-------

Part XVI- Back to Me

"_Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until in our lonely despair of God's will comes wisdom, through the awful grace of God."  
- Aeschylus _

-------

It hurt.

Oh, it hurt so badly.

Nothing but ocean and sky, nothing but the hiss of the wind outside the spell bubble.

No one would know if he died out here and dropped into the water, no one would find him.

It hurt.

But it hurt for her, and so it was all right.

He had no idea how long he'd been flying, only that it had been hours upon hours, and he'd never held up a spell for this long. He was sure this was what Filia must have felt like when they kept urging her faster in their pursuit of Dark Star.

He wanted to throw up the blood of over-exertion that was clogging his throat.

He wanted to just let go and sleep forever.

But he wanted Amelia.

And that want canceled out everything else.

He had to get to her.

_Come on, Graywords, pull yourself together. It can't be that much farther._

Except that it was. Day became night became day and he was still flying.

Food...how long had it been since he'd eaten?

Tired...how many days had it been since he'd slept?

Amelia...how much had it taken to make him see that he loved her?

It had taken more time and effort than the other two, and so she won out again.

He suspected some of the fatigue came from the sickening inner trill of the scrapes the black sword had made in his stony skin. Mazoku sword... He would have to find a professional healer back in Merrid. Before or after Amelia? That was silly. After, of course.

Amelia was his number one priority, and he was not going to take another four months to get back to her.

But what was he going to say to her? How could he start?

_I can't just walk in and say "Amelia, I think you should know that I..." It just isn't that easy. There's too much that needs to be said before that._

And so he thought about what he needed to stay, and the ocean waves moved methodically underneath him.

He kept flying until he was sure his lungs would explode.

He kept going until he could hardly see.

Was Amelia worth not breathing, not seeing?

She was worth more than anything, and he'd been given this blessed second chance to see that.

And she was going to know that.

And so he kept flying.

-------

_I... exist..._

_Existence is a state of being, not a state of mind, for I understand that I have existed although I was not me._

_I... don't understand..._

_Comprehension comes only with analysis, and analysis will take time. I will have to have it explained to me._

_But... who will explain?_

_The people who will explain are the people who have caused me to be again. They are my friends and family._

_Was it... them?_

_It had to be them. There was no one else. They had the power to bring me back into myself._

_And yet... not myself..._

_I am changed. I had to be changed in order to come back to a world that is not the same one I left._

_I lived... in nightmare._

_I dreamt things that would have sent dreamers into mad convulsions. I dreamt things that made me want to cry._

_I still... want to cry..._

_But I want to cry safe in the arms of someone who knows me. Knows me for what I was and what I am now. Knows me and accepts me for it._

_Dare I... hope?_

_Hope is what kept me alive in dark places. Hope is all I have. The last time I abandoned it, look what happened to me._

_Does hope permit...anger?_

_Am I still angry?_

_Am I still angry?_

_Anger... fear... hate... I remember..._

_Am I still angry?_

_Do I remember... love?_

_If I can remember his face when his face meant love, then I remember it. Am I still angry?_

_When I wake up... I'll know..._

Amelia's eyes fluttered for a moment, and then closed fully again.

_But not yet._

-------

The ground.

Thank every god that ever existed, the ground.

Merrid never looked so good.

Zel let the spell bubble dissolve around him, then collapsed against the side of one of the small town's buildings.

He'd left his cloak back in Dynast's castle, and it was freezing.

He'd made a two week trip in one night and two days, and he was sick from the journey and his injuries.

He needed Amelia. If this was going to kill him, he had to see her before he died.

Well, he knew he wasn't going to die, but... stupid legs, why didn't they want to hold him up?

More than shaking, he stumbled out into the main drag, stopping the first person that he saw.

"The...infirmary?"

The middle-aged woman took one look at him -covered in blood, dirty, dishelved, half-mad- and backed away a little.

"There really isn't an official one."

"Wha..but...there's a...a girl..." Zel didn't know how much longer he'd be able to speak coherently. Everything was jumbled and screamed for the bliss of sleep. "Sick...Where..."

She backed up a little more, but pointed behind her to one of the inns.

"Arika...the owner of the inn...she's a healer. Everyone who's sick goes there..."

Zel didn't even bother to thank her, but sprinted as well as he could to the inn, staggered to the bar, and rasped the same statement again.

"There's ...a girl...black hair...sick?"

"Ah..." the man -no, boy- behind the counter regarded him strangely. "You'll have to ask mom."

"Hmm?" the woman herself - very attractive in her late forties- entered the room from a door off to the side. "Is there a problem?"

"This man here-"

"A girl..." the effort brought tears to Zel's eyes. "Black hair...Here?"

"Pretty thing? Late teens? A man with purple hair brought her...in?"

Arika's sentence turned into a startled question as Zel's legs decided to give up and he slid to the floor.

"Thank...gods..."he tried to pull himself back up. "See... her..."

"I think you need a bit of healing yourself." she knelt down at his side and tried to pull him up.

"Nono..."he mumbled. "I've got it..." The door she'd come through must have been the way to Amelia. If he could make it there...

Fate decided it would let him, and he half-ran, half-fell to the door, pushed it open, and managed to make it to Amelia's bed before collapsing on the side.

She was breathing.

She was asleep and flushed with fever, but she was breathing, thank L-sama. He'd made it.

And then Zel passed out.


	18. 17 Talitha Cumi Arise Maiden

Yo yo, sorry for the delay, finals and coming home and last minute shopping like I've never done before. Enjoy the next few days and all that, I live you with a holiday cliff-hanger. ;) Just for the record, this chapter title is one of my very favorites for secret reasons, and thanks again to all my amazing reviewres.

** Lyra Pelgina** - Sorry this one took longer! I was distracted. And thanks for reading my other stories. The writing is different, beacause...well, there's a four year space in between them. ;) Anyway, I'm glad you liked that too! Here is your update, sorry for the wait!

**Klutz82** - I like that part too. :) hugs

**Hoshi-chan1** - Here it is! Woooo!

-------

Part XVII- Talitha Cumi (_Arise Maiden_)

_"Nothing is as wonderful as it seems beforehand."  
-George Eliot_

_------- _

"...No honey, we don't know her name yet, but I'm hoping we can find out soon enough."

The voice was smooth and almost sultry, not young, but by far, not old.

So it couldn't have been Lina at all. Hmmm..

Sleep was still heavy on his eyes, but he forced them open, squeezing them shut almost immediately as bright light cut into his vision and sent off explosions in his head.

"Ma, he's waking up."

That was a child's voice, so that meant that Gourry wasn't around either. Determined to figure out who these strangers surrounding him were, he forced his eyes open again and nearly fell out of bed when he saw not one or two but four faces looking down at him. Three were boys, ranging in ages from what seemed to be about...ten to nineteen. And there was one woman, smiling down at him as long vermillion hair that was grayed around the edges fell over her shoulders.

"Whooooaaaaa...." the youngest boy, with dirty-blonde hair stared down at him. "I thought he was dead!"

Dear gods, where the hell had he ended up?

"Boys, back up and give this gent some air."the woman spoke and pushed the larger boys away by the shoulders. "I thought I taught you it wasn't polite to stare." Winking at Zel, she sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. "No manners at all, ne? Of course, you wouldn't know about that. It's not every day a man like yourself comes crashing into my house with less that ten words before he up and passes out. You made for a lot of excitement here, sugar."

Zel really didn't know what to say to that. He felt uncomfortable enough being in this strange place, but now he knew he was blushing too. Deciding that the first step was to sit up and get his bearings, he attempted to do just that, and was rewarded with a scathing pain in his left arm when he used it to raise himself.

"Careful there!" she chirped. "You've been in quite a tussle, and you're not all healed yet."

"Who are you?"

"Figures you wouldn't remember. You came charging in here like a bat out of hell and I can't imagine you got a single word I said. I'm Arika Coupland, my handsome young man. Who might you be?"

He'd never stammered over his own name, but then again, he'd never had a much older woman coming onto him before.

"Z-zeldigas..."he shook his head. "Zel_gadis_ Graywords."

Across the room, the boy who looked to be the middle one leaned over to the slightly taller male next to him and muttered "I wish she wouldn't do that. It always spooks them."

"Zelgadis, it's a pleasure."she smiled brightly, then grabbed his chin and tilted his head to the side. "Now let's see how you're shaping up."

"Buh?"

"You, sir, are a very lucky man. You..."She seemed to notice something and turned to her sons. "What are you guys still doing here? There's an inn to be run! Dkkar, get your brothers moving!"

The tallest boy, with long hair and glasses, ushered the other two out, and then Zel was left alone with Arika. He didn't know whether that should have scared him or not.

"Those boys..."she shook her head, then reached toward his cheek and pulled something off- a bandage. "As I was saying Zelgadis, you're very lucky. Both that you survived whatever you got into, and that you came to me, best healer north of Seyruun." she prodded his stone skin, and didn't even pause when he winced. "This was infected like I have never seen. You've been playing with dark magic, haven't you?"

"To say the least of it, yes."

"Didn't your mommy tell you not to play with sorcery?"

"I-"

"I'm kidding. You are obviously a magic user. No one else could have gone through this and survived if they didn't have some kind of talent like that. Besides,"she placed her finger against his cut and murmured a few soft words before raising her voice again. "I could tell you'd tried healing it before. You didn't, of course, know what you were dealing with." Arika moved her attentions to his arm. "And neither did I. Hmm...But I did do a wonderful job, and it shouldn't be much longer before it stops hurting."

She finally pulled back and with a quick nod, placed her hands on her knees.

"Firm body, pretty face...Yeah, you'll heal just fine."she patted his leg through the sheets. "And now that you're up, maybe you can tell us who this mystery girl is, since you were in such a hurry to see her."

Zel turned so fast he nearly tumbled out of the bed for the second time. Amelia! He'd completely forgotten she was here! He leapt out from under the covers and to the bed mere feet away. Gods, he'd almost though it had all been a dream...but no, here she was. She was still unconscious and bright with sickness, but she was gloriously alive.

Zel couldn't resist stroking her cheek and felt tears welling up in his eyes. It had taken so much to get here, so much to let him know that this one motion was probably the only reason he'd been born.

"Amelia..."

"Amelia, eh?" Arika echoed behind him. "Amelia who?"

"Amelia Wil Tesla de Seyruun."he said gently, letting his hand travel higher to comb through her black bangs.

"Say what? Seyruun? I have the princess of Seyruun lying here?" she sounded flabbergasted. "You have got to be kidding me. Seyruun probably doesn't even know about us up here! What's going on?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Then tell me."

"It's a very, very long story." Zel tried to make his voice sound as uninterested as possible.

"You know what? I really don't care. I want to hear it, and if I don't get to hear it, I'll start charging you for the three days you were asleep."

The chimera whirled around.

"Three days?!"

"Ay-yup. You were sick as a dog." she grinned. "Now come on into the dining room, we'll have some dinner, and I get to hear your story, alright?"

"But Amelia..."

"The Princess has slept for five days and she's not going to wake up yet. Oh, and one other thing..." She turned behind her to a shelf and picked up a pile of fabric. "I fixed up your clothes. You might want them before you go out."

Zel's mouth opened and closed several times as his face was set on fire.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sugar, I'm a healer and I've got three sons. It's nothing new to me." she dropped the clothes into his arms."See you outside."

As he pulled on his clothes like his life depended on it, Zel was very glad Amelia had decided not to wake up just yet.

-------

It was snowing outside, and more than a little bit dark, but in the main hall of Arika's inn, the fire was warm, and Nijil, the middle and sassiest of Arika's sons, proved to be a very good cook.

Zel off-handedly wondered where the time had gone. It was light out when he'd started his story -from the very beginning with Rezo- and he wasn't even done with the fight yet. And although he'd started only with Arika, gradually each of her children -Dkkar, Nijil, and Mikale, respectively- had joined them. The chimera felt a little bit silly; who made him into a story teller and when did he become so open? But they were all watching him so intently, he couldn't stop now.

"And I..uh...well I had to ...er..."

"You had to realize that you loved her in order to kill her so that you could save her!"Mikale, in all his ten-year-old wisdom, slapped his sleeve-covered hand on the table and nearly gave Nijil a heart attack.

"Ah...yeah, that was it..."

"So let me get this straight."Nijil casually shoved his younger brother aside. "You killed her because you love her?"

"Um..."

"Because that sounds really stupid."

"I..."

Dkkar sighed, pushed his glasses up his nose, picked up a discarded chicken bone, and bounced it off Nijil's forehead.

"Haven't you been listening? Of course he had to kill her. There wasn't any other choice. If he loved her, he couldn't let her live like that. So he had to sacrifice her to save her, do you get it?"

"It's still stupid."

"Yeah, it kind of is." Zel had to agree. Doing it had felt horrible, and saying it felt just plain weird. "Well...to make a long story short, I had tried to kill her with a sword and a spell through the heart, but the fruitcake got her from behind."

"Yes." Arika nodded sagely. "That would explain why she had three holes in her chest. I was hoping you'd mention that."

"I...were they hard to fix? Her wounds, I mean. Did you have trouble bandaging them?"

"Bandaging, no. And surprisingly, they weren't bleeding anymore either. I had some trouble knowing quite what to do with someone who should have been dead, especially when the person who gave them to me disappeared right away."She sipped on her coffee and rum mix. "It did interest me that one of the wounds was almost completely closed, though. The one right in her sternum."

"I was getting to that. Cutting down the story, Lina and Gourry killed the priests, and then we all took on Dynast. Lina conveniently got the last hit, and then we had to deal with Amelia."

"Wait!"Mikale gripped the table intensely. "You mean Lina-san took away your victory?"

"Yeah, you could put it like that."

"That's terrible! How could she do that to you?!"

"She...didn't know?"

"Hmph." the child slouched back in his chair. "Doesn't make it right."

"Shut up and let him talk."Nijil elbowed him again and chewed on a toothpick. "So you killed him and...?"

"Amelia was dead too, so Xellos used a Mazoku spell to call back her soul and...sealed her soul inside her body with her ring."

As if to remind him of what everything had cost him, Zel felt his own chest twist, as if something heavy were lodged to the right of his heart. The prices he'd had to pay for his stupidity...

"So what?" asked not Nijil, but his mother.

"So what?!"Zel was floored. "So the thing that brought her back wasn't from me! I couldn't do a thing to save her! And now she has something from that other guy in her body forever!"

"But what does that mean? Was he the one that traveled up here to get her? Was he the one who fought for her? Was he the one who nearly killed himself to be at her side? No. And in the end, it's not going to matter whose ring went where, but who loves her the most. And that's you."

Zel flushed and looked down at his hands.

"I wish she knew that."

"She'll know soon enough." Arika said smugly.

"Um..it's not going to be easy to tell her..."

"But you will, won't you?" Goodness, Mikail was expressive. He looked absolutely appalled at the thought that Zel might stay silent.

"Yeah, Graywords."Nijil grinned, the toothpick looking rather silly as it pointed directly upwards from the corner of his mouth. "It would be pretty sad if you did all that and then didn't tell her."

"...I'll tell her."

"Boys, stop pressuring him. It's not like any of you know how to act around girls yet."

Dkkar cleared his throat.

"With the possible exception of Dkkar."

"Hey!"

"Hush. Now it's late, and you should get to bed. Perhaps we'll get some paying customers tomorrow. Shoo, off to bed."

"But mooooooom!"Mikale pleaded. "He's not even done yet!"

"There really isn't much more to tell. He healed her, brought her here, and I followed them." Zel shrugged.

"The end!"Arika declared. "To bed, to bed, to bed!"

Nijil got up with a scowl and stalked to their part of the inn, followed closely by Dkkar. Mikale lingered a moment to kiss his mother good night, and then turned to Zel with a stern look.

"Zel-san, you'd better tell her when she gets up."

"I will."he smiled warmly at the child.

Mikale bounced off to bed, and the chimera was left alone with Arika once more. They sat silently for a while, Arika studying him as she finished off the last bits of her drink. At last she slammed the mug on the table and leveled her gaze on Zel.

"You've got quite a story there, Zel-kun. I admit I didn't know what to expect when your Xellos character dropped that bloody girl off and you came bursting in here. I thought I might be stuck with her forever, but it's good to know that she's got a lot of people looking out for her."

Zel nodded a little.

"Yes. And thank you for taking care of her. I don't know what I would have done..."

"Probably gone completely mad."

"No question." he shifted a little. "Do you think I should see if she's awake?"

The woman laughed gently.

"I saw you getting more and more antsy throughout the story. I know you want her to wake up, but you have to give it time. She's been to hell and back. She might sleep another week."

Zel sighed raggedly.

"I don't want it to take that long..."

"Now don't lose your head over just waiting for her to wake up." Arika's voice had turned a little grave. "You are not out of this yet."

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head a little, and folded her arms across her chest.

"Call it intuition, but I don't think you're going to have a very easy time with her when she wakes up. And I know you know it'll be difficult, but from hearing your story, hearing everything she's gone through...It isn't over yet." she glanced up at his incredulous expression. "Don't make that face at me. Zel, listen to your own story. This girl died being angry with you twice. And just because she's been healed doesn't mean she can forget that. Yes, you love her now, but she's not going to know that. And I just want you to have a little bit of warning that this might not be as wonderful as you expect it to be."

"I don't care. I still want her to wake up."

"I do too." she sighed. "Believe me I do."

Silence again, and then Arika stood up, walked behind the counter, opened a little drawer and pulled something out.

"Amelia's clothes were unsalvageable. This is the only thing she was wearing that wasn't completely destroyed."

Zel rose and walked over, and as he drew closer, realized what it was -it was the blue stone that had been tied around Amelia's...Amedyn's neck.

"I don't want that. I don't think she will either."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." the healer reached over, pulled up Zel's arm and placed the necklace in his hand. "See what she thinks when she wakes up."

Rolling his eyes a little, Zel stuffed it into his pocket.

"Now, now, now, don't get sassy on me." Arika scolded. "I already have Nijil, I don't need another one of you."

She winked, and then gave him a little shove on the shoulder.

"You need to get back to bed."

"But the dishes..."

"Pshah! It's my inn, and I'm perfectly capable of doing my own dishes." she leaned across the bar and pressed her lips to his cheek. "G'night, sugar. And good luck, 'cuz you may need it."

Blushing again, Zel raised his hand, then walked back to the room that served as the infirmary. Opening the door, he found the room very dim- the single lantern that had been lit earlier was struggling valiantly to provide light, but it wasn't succeeding overly well. Oh well, that didn't matter. What mattered was that there was still a living body in bed next to it.

Although part of his mind told him to just lie down and wait for her to awaken, the other half told him to go over to her. That side won out, and the shamanist carefully made his way over to her, and gently sat down on the edge of her bed.

Her breathing was soft and measured coming from her slightly parted lips. Her face looked entirely calm and though he knew it was improper, Zel found himself unable to keep from cupping her cheek and slowly bending down to kiss her. It was going to be his first kiss, and...no. No, not while she was sleeping. It wasn't right.

Shifting his aim, he bent down and placed the softest of all kisses on her forehead. For a second, he imagined that she sighed as his lips touched her skin. And then he realized she _was_ sighing.The sigh of someone walking up from a long, long sleep.

He pulled back instantly, and watched as her eyes fluttered, then began to raise gently.

"Z...Zelgadis-san?" her voice was a whisper as her eyes opened fully.

At first he thought it must have been a trick of the candle's shadows that her eyes seemed lighter than before. Then, with agitation slowly overcoming him, he reached over and turned up the lantern's flame.

"Zelgadis-san?" Amelia blinked.

Oh gods.

Her eyes were still gray.


	19. 18 Just A Girl

Hey, thanks for everyone's patience. I was out of town with no internet, and before I was out of town I was kind of sick. I'm really sorry to have held things up! But this is a reeeeaaally big one, and I think it'll have a lot of things a lot of people are waiting for. Laughter! Tears! Drama! Angst! Only two more chapters after this one...it's been a wonderful ride.

** Klutz82 -** Thanks, sweetie. I like the boys too. Especially Nijil. ;) And I'm glad you enjoyed Zel's moments of affection. He's getting better, isn't he? Whatever are you scared for? Heh heh heh...  
**Gerao-A **- It's okay, I was on vacation too. I still appreciate it! :) And Amelia's eyes turned gray when Dynast took her. What might that mean....hmmm....  
**Lyra Pelgina -** It seemed important to lengthen it at the time! You'll be away from that cliff-edge by the end of this one, I promise. :) And take your time on the MiroSan stuff. They're not going anywhere. I'll be grateful whenever you get the chance.  
**Sailor Leo -** Thank you very much! I tried really hard to not have people act crazy-like. Xellos/Amelia, huh? Now that's a pairing I haven't seen in a long time. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. ;) Thanks so much for reading!

-------

Part XVIII- Just A Girl

_"And now I cannot speak  
I've lost my voice  
I'm speechless and redundant  
Cos I love you's not enough  
I'm lost for words..."_  
-_"Redundant," Green Day_

_------- _

_Say something._

_Say anything. _

_It can't be as bad as you think. She's calling you what she always called you._

_Say something._

_It's her._

Zelgadis swallowed hard and looked at Amelia.

"I...uh...I lost your bracelet."

Oh _that_ was brilliant. What a stupid thing to say. Like she'd even be thinking about her stupid bracelet right now. She'd just woken up! Why was he such an idiot?!

"My bracelet?"she shifted to be out of the bright light. "...You mean the pink and blue..."

"That one. Yeah."

"Oh."

She blinked again, and noticed in her stupor that the chimera's eyes had not wavered from hers.

Eyes...

"What's wrong with my eyes, Zelgadis-san?"

"Nothi-"

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Amelia sat up quickly and before Zel even had time to blush, she was pawing at the bandages on her chest. "What...what is this? What happened to me?" Her hand was flat on the bandage on her sternum, and for a moment he feared she might tear it off. Instead she just concentrated on the wall behind him.

Then, barely grabbing the sheets for modesty, she leapt out of the bed and hurried over to that wall, where a mirror hung. Strange...Zel hadn't remembered seeing one there before.

Amelia looked at herself. Gray eyes looked back. Agony, darkness, loss of self filled her mind and she gagged, but because she hadn't eaten in months, all she managed to do was cough a few strands of blood into her hand. When that was done, she turned back to Zel, silver fire blazing in her pretty face.

"This is your fault."

Her words were sharper than daggers, filled with an emotion beyond hate. No single combination of letters and intonations had ever made him want to cry so much. She blamed him. She probably had no idea what had happened, but that didn't matter; she still knew it was all because of him.

"Amelia, I-"

"I don't want to hear it!"she faced the mirror again, and did pull the bandage in the center of her chest off, gazing at the red wound that was almost closed. She caressed it more, almost violently, and a small part that wasn't entirely healed opened, and bled anew. She didn't seem to notice. "I don't understand...And...where's my ring? What happened to my ring?!" She sounded almost frantic.

"Your ring is..."

"I feel sick." Amelia interrupted, and promptly fell against the wall, sliding down into a heap of flesh and sheets on the floor.

Zel was frozen for a moment. That had to have been one of the strangest and most awful conversations in his life. And what was he supposed to do now? Being touched by him was probably the last thing she wanted, but there was no way he could leave her on the floor like that. Moving slowly to her side, he gently lifted her into his arms, shocked at how much lighter she was than she'd been a mere five days ago. Her head lolled back over his arm, and her mouth continued moving, barely forming words. What was coherent was nothing Zel wanted to hear.

He set her down on the bed carefully, and replaced the torn bandage, holding his hand firmly over it to stop the bleeding again. When it seemed to have slowed, he slipped her under the covers and pulled them up to her chin. An afterthought, Zel reached up to touch her cheek, but as if on cue, she rolled onto her side away from him.

Defeated and denied again.

The familiar feeling of his heart being clamped in a vice was back in full force as he flopped down on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Arika had been far too right. He should have known she wouldn't forgive him.

He should have known that it would never stop being all his fault.

-------

It was the weight of something being set down on her foot that woke her up. Amelia lifted her heavy eyelids and took in the window illuminated with the gorgeous morning sun, and a woman with red hair standing over her. At first she thought it might be Lina, but as soon as she spoke, it became very clear it was someone else entirely.

"Well good morning, dear! I didn't know you were awake!"

"Mmm?"Amelia rubbed her eyes and raised herself on her elbow.

"We were beginning to worry about you." the woman knelt down and placed her hand on Amelia's forehead. "But your fever's broken now, and it looks like you're in the clear."

"Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but..."

"No, princess, I'm being rude. Call me Arika, inn-keeper and healer. I fixed up these nasty holes in you, but you seem to have done something to this one..." Arika looked at one of the now-reddened bandages.

"How did you know I was a princess?" Amelia asked, more than a little bewildered.

"Your friend told me."the healer pulled the bandage off without so much as a warning and cast a healing spell again. "I wonder how you did this. Did you wake up before?"

"I..." Amelia was a little taken aback at Arika's forwardness, but the spell was soothing to the pain in her chest, and she was happy to let it continue. " Think I might have...last night sometime." She squeezed her eyes shut and thought hard. "Yes, I...did, but I don't remember what I..."

"Did you wake up before Zel fell asleep?"

"Before..." Memories began to trickle back, and her eyes hardened. "Yes. Yes I did."

"Hmm...I don't like that look, sugar puff. I take it things didn't go as well as he'd hoped."

"No."

"Well I'm sure you'll tell me at breakfast, but dredging up badness is not our first priority this morning . What is is getting you into the bath and having Nijil make you some of his quality toast. You could stand to gain a few pounds back."

The princess' head was swimming. This woman talked so _fast_...

"Wait...Nijil?"

"One of the demons that I call my sons." Arika scooted over to the door and called another name out it before turning back to the girl. "We had to dispose of your things, so I brought you one of my sweaters." She pointed at the weight on Amelia's foot -a folded mound of dark green wool. "It might be a little big, I wore it when I was pregnant with Mikale."

"Thank you very much..." Amelia dragged it over and pulled it on, laughing a little as she discovered just how big it was.

She put it on just in time, as a young man with long dark hair and glasses poked his head into the room.

"Yes, mom?"

"Dkkar, the princess needs to be carried to the bath. If you would..."

"Oh no!" Amelia started to get out of bed. "Please, A...Arika-san, I can walk!"

"No no no no no. And no. Dkkar?"

Smiling, he crosses the room and scooped the little princess into his arms.

"It's an honor, my lady." he said, and Amelia could do nothing but blush.

She felt safe for the first time in months. And she felt human for the first time in...oh, she didn't even know how long... or why it mattered so much. Of course, Arika was right. What the issue of the moment was concerned her getting into a bath, and who was she to argue if a handsome boy was going to carry her there?

It only occurred to her later that she was secretly wishing he was someone else.

The same marvelous sun that had met Amelia greeted Zel himself a little later.

-------

If the sun were a person, he would have slapped them.

The whole goddamn world hated him. He was even more certain of it now. Now that he'd failed with Amelia again. What did that make it? Four? Five?

"Shiiiiit...."

With more than a little effort, he pushed himself into a sitting position on the side of the bed, holding his head in his hands. To top off how horrendous he was feeling, he'd slept in his clothes, and he hated doing that.

Basically, he decided, he would have been happier if he were dead.

Something within him stirred and he raised his head to see Amelia...who wasn't in her bed anymore.

He leapt to his feet. She was gone? Where could she be?! His train of thought scurried over these thoughts for a few seconds before rationality reminded him that she had probably woken up again and gone outside. It was a good thing his brilliant brain thought of this stuff.

Sighing, Zel made his way to the door and left the room, to be greeted with the site of Amelia sitting at one of the inn's tables with Arika and sons, clearly enjoying herself. Her hair was wet, and it was unquestionable that she'd just come out of the bath. Her small body was swimming in a big green sweater, but somehow it suited her. She looked happy, and alive, and...and beautiful. And from the way Dkkar and Nijil were looking at her, it was clear he wasn't the only one that felt that way.

Jealousy flared within him, and despite the fact that he knew it would turn out badly, he stalked over to the table and stood behind her.

"Good morning Zel-san!" Mikale chirped.

Amelia choked on her slice of toast, and had to be whacked on the back several times by Arika before she recovered.

"Amelia-san, what's wrong?" the little boy obviously didn't get it. "Aren't you happy to see him?"

"Mikale-kun, I..."

"Zel-saaaaaan!" he whined. "Did you forget to tell her you loved her?"

Amelia started choking again, Dkkar sighed, Nijil rolled his eyes, and Arika reached over to pat her son on the head.

"Mikale love....we need to talk."

"But Zel-san didn't-"

"I think you're a little confused, Mikale-kun." Amelia spoke gently. "Zelgadis-san isn't in love with me."

Behind her, Zel flinched as if he'd been struck.

"You didn't hear him talking about you! He told us a whole big story about you, and about how he loved you, and how he had to kilmmph!"

No one seemed to mind Nijil shutting up his little brother and hauling him out of the chair.

"Whoops, guess it's time to do the dishes, right small fry?"

"Njmm!"

"Glad you agree."

The two disappeared into the kitchen, and Dkkar was quick to follow them, bearing all the dishes they'd conveniently forgotten. Arika made some excuse about "Oh, whoops, gotta run to the...bye!" and then they were alone.

As soon as it happened, Zel was struck by the difference in the air around her. Her presence was...changed, to say the least. She didn't even have to turn around for him to know that she was smilingly bitterly as she spoke, an expression that was completely new to her face.

"I think it's funny. You must have told them some story for Mikale-kun to decide that you love me."

"Amelia, I don't think that that's the first thing we should-"

"It's not the first thing we've said to each other. We talked last night, remember?"

"That wasn't a conversation. That was you blaming me for...for something I deserve."

He hoped his words would at least make her look at him, but she continued staring out the inn's distant front windows.

"I know you do. I...don't know why. It seems like there's something huge that I just can't remember. I mean, obviously there is, because this is not Seyruun, and I am not physically all right. But I don't know what happened. All I know is that it stems from you. From me too, but..."

Deciding he had no other choice, he sat down beside her, watching her intently.

"You're right. I won't deny it. But because you don't know what' s happened-"

"Means that I have no right to judge whether or not you really do love me now." She laughed a little. "Isn't this amusing."

"I really don't think so."

"You know, I don't either." Amelia was playing with her hands; her right hand kept trying to twist an invisible band around ring finger of her left. "Where are Lina-san and Gourry-san?"

"Hopefully on a boat."

"A boat to where?"

"Here. Merrid."

"I've never heard of it."

"I thought Arika would tell you."

"So I'm sitting here in a town I've never heard of, full of holes and with gray eyes. And now you love me. What a bizarre world I came back to." Unconsciously, her mind asked _Back from where? _and she had no answer.

"Amelia..."

"I want to go to sleep again." she stood up suddenly and pushed her chair back, heading for the room. "I'd prefer it if you didn't come in."

Just like that, the door slammed, and the conversation was over.

And Zel was rather glad that he was alone, because then no one had to see him cry again.

-------

If it had asked her, she would have gladly married the sky. Amelia couldn't remember the last time she'd seen anything so perfect, so blue, such a sheer, cold, majestic color. It made her more than happy that she was alive again.

But what did again mean?

When had she died?

Oh, she knew something had happened. She'd woken up with three holes in her body, one of which constantly called out for her hand. She'd noticed herself unconsciously rubbing the wound in her chest, almost as if there was an object inside that she wanted to get to. What was it? She'd never had nervous habits like that before...

She'd hoped Arika could tell her what happened as the older woman took her shopping the day after she'd woken up. But the healer stubbornly maintained that she was not the one to ask. Amelia wanted to get it out of her, but figuring that Arika and her sons had already gone to enough trouble at her expense, she let the matter drop, and happily accepted the warm, heavy sweaters and leggings that her savior bought for her. They were blue, like her precious sky.

Blue like her eyes used to be.

What had happened to her eyes?

Two days after she'd awoken, Mikale had convinced her to help him build a snowman. Although she still felt light headed when she stood for too long, she complied, and ended up having a wonderful time with the child. But he kept bringing up "Zel-san" and whenever he did, Amelia found that she needed to quickly change the subject.

Zel was connected with what had happened, but she couldn't talk to him. She just couldn't.

And she had refused to make eye contact with him since she'd risen. She'd forced him to move out of the infirmary wing of the inn, and take a room upstairs. She got up from the table whenever he came near and very nearly covered her ears every time she heard his voice. She couldn't take it.

Whatever had happened was because of him.

And sooner or later, she knew they would have to speak. She would have to find out why her eyes were gray now; why, although she was certain that she always dressed in white, she'd bought blue sweaters instead. She would have to learn why it was that when she hazarded a glance at him, Zel looked like he was slowly dying.

The princess would ponder this late, late into the night, hand pressed against her chest, fingers turning a forgotten ring around her finger.

Nervous habits...

Gray eyes...

_Zelgadis-san is dying, just like I did. But when? When did I die?_

And just when she'd counted a week since her eyes had opened, just when she decided that like it or not, she'd have to face her man of stone, just when she couldn't stand not knowing any longer, Lina and Gourry burst into the inn on a windy night.

Saved.

-------

"Amelia-san!"Nijil called from out in the midst of the sea of people the inn's dining hall had become.

Amelia looked you from behind the bar, where she had taken to helping out as a thank you to Arika for saving her. Not to mention the fact that Dkkar had been called away on what he termed "very urgent business" and there was no one else to pour the drinks.

"I need...um...Just a sec!"

The princess giggled. Nijil was adorable for his fourteen years- a cocky little brat most of the time, but he seemed to be less catty around her. Dkkar had helpfully suggested that his younger brother had a crush on her, and Amelia had barely had time to blush before Mikale interrupted that she belonged to Zel.

Thinking of that, she had to sigh again, and almost unwillingly, cast her eyes to the corner of the room where Zel was sitting in his usual table, head in his hands. She knew she was the reason he was doing it, but for the life of her, she couldn't bring herself to talk to him. Shaking her head, she sought out Nijil, frantically taking notes on drink orders as he was called by a dozen people at a time.

A sudden rush of cold air indicated that the door had been opened again, this time by a pair, both looking very cold, and very, very tired.

"That was the longest trip of my life..."the smaller person moaned.

"It was shorter than the way there. I think that's because Dhitney was afraid you would eat her boat."

"Yeah, well....HEY KID!" Lina Inverse tossed back her hood and shouted at Nijil. "WHERE IS THERE A-"

"LINA-SAN!"

Lina barely had time to look up before a mass of...something launched itself over the bar and crashed into her, screaming her name.

"What the...AMELIA?!

Looking down, Gourry let out yell.

"It IS Amelia!"

"WAH!" The fire-haired sorceress wrapped her arms tightly around her friend and swung her around. "Amelia!"

"Lina-san!"she turned to her embracee's constant companion and wrapped him in a hug that put her father to shame. "GOURRY-SAN!"

"Amelia...it's good to have you back."he smiled into her hair as he bent his taller body over her.

"Let me look at you!"Lina quickly wiped away some tears and pulled her around by the shoulders, immediately freezing. "Amelia...your...you eyes..."

Of course.

"I...know, Lina-san." Amelia couldn't help sliding those eyes towards the floor, not wanting to see the stares she knew she was getting. "They were like that when I woke up."

"Huh? Her eyes? What's wrong with them? OW!"

"They're gray, you idiot!"

"Oh...Why is that a big deal?"

"Because her eyes were blue, don't you remember? And then they turned gray when Dynast turned her into..."

"Dynast turned me into what?"

Lina and Gourry's jaws dropped simultaneously.

"You don't know?"they asked in perfect unison.

"No." An embarrassed blush heated her cheeks. "I have no memory of what's happened to me. The last thing I remember...is...is something that hurt like the end of the world, and then just...darkness." Her hand found its place and began to rub her sweater against her fresh scar tissue. "I know I was taken by Dynast...that much is clear, but I don't know why, and I don't know what happened after that."

"Well didn't Zel tell you? If he didn't, I am going to kick him so hard, he'll-"

"Amelia and I haven't spoken."

Gourry very nearly had a new hat made out of Lina when the chimera's voice came out of nowhere. Climbing off her lover, she gave Zel the look of death, punched him in the face, and then hugged him.

"We worried that you'd died."she whispered.

"No...not yet."

As Lina released him, he clasped hands with Gourry.

"I'm glad to see you two made it back in one piece."Zel mananged a smiled for his friends. "I wish I could say the same for myself."

"I don't get it. You two haven't spoken? Well why the hell not?"

Gourry, attempting to be the more tactful of the two, merely regarded the princess and the chimera. Her eyes were still downcast, and she seemed uncomfortable by the mere presence of Zel. The shamanist himself could hardly keep his eyes on Lina as she yammered at him how they'd run out of food and wood on Dhintney's boat; he was looking at Amelia with such longing, such sorrow... And it didn't take a man greater than Gourry Gabriev to realize that Amelia had no idea what part Zel had played in not only her agony, but her all-important rescue.

"Lina." His hand came down on his sorceress' shoulder, silencing her mid-word. "Food is going to wait. I think that we need to talk to Amelia."

Suddenly exceedingly nervous, Amelia started to back away, much to the swordsman's dismay.

"I'd love to, Gourry-san, but I...uh...have to help at the bar! I'll save a room for you and we can talk after closing! Ja!"

With that, she scurried back to the bar, just in time to receive Nijil's drink orders. Left still standing in the doorway, Lina, Gourry, and Zel looked at each other.

"You look like you've been through hell and back, Zelgadis Graywords."

"I have, Lina. In more ways than you can imagine. Come on, I have a table."

-------

Arika had been introduced.

Mikale had seen that he approved.

And Lina and Gourry were welcomed to the inn, showing their appreciation by eating and eating and eating almost beyond their normal scale. The boys were fascinated, and Zel could only shrug in response to their awe. Hell, he still hadn't figured out how they could pack so much away and not look any different when they stood up. He suspected it was one of the world's great mysteries.

Nearing midnight, the dining hall was finally clearing out, and people began to head to their rooms. From the way she was starting to lean heavily on his shoulder, Gourry could tell that his fiancee was more than ready for bed. But shaking her gently, he reminded her of important business, and excused themselves from Zel and Mikale.

"Are you going to help Princess Amelia fall in love with Zel-san like she's supposed to?"

Gourry smiled warmly at the child.

"We'll do our best."he said, and then they went over to the bar and declared Amelia off-duty before dragging her into her room.

How long he waited for them to come out, Zel didn't know. Arika had offered to sit with him, but she was at last forced to retire herself, leaving him with only a coffee pot and empty mugs for company. Sometime after his mother had left, Dkkar came in, pulling his very urgent business -a very familiar ship captain- behind him. Dhitney stopped to exchange pleasantries with Zel before her boyfriend pulled her away, and then silence closed in once more.

He was very close to falling asleep when the door to the infirmary finally creaked open and a haggard looking Lina stepped out, flanked closely by Gourry. Zel stood up quickly, knocking his chair over, and bounded over. He regarded his friends, and sighed.

"It didn't go well."

"How could it? She had to relive four months of horror. That's not an easy thing for a person to do."

"But,"Gourry supplied, catching Lina as she started to drift to the floor. "She did say that she would talk to you now."

"I..."

"No. No to whatever you were going to say." the blonde man shook his head and pointed behind himself to the door. "Just go."

Zel nodded mutely, and giving a brief wave goodnight, stepped into the room.

The lights were dim, and from the way the shadows danced on the form on the bed, she almost didn't look real. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, and her face was buried in the arms folded on top of them, making her look even smaller.

"Ame...Amelia..."

Seconds crawled by before she raised her head, and the tear-stains that he knew would be there became a solid fact.

"Well...I guess it is probably time for us to talk, ne Zelgadis-san?"

Nodding again, he walked over and took a seat on the edge of her bed.

"I...They told you."

"They told me."her voice was raw, and from this closer vantage he could see her eyes were bruised from crying. "They told me and now I don't know what to think."

"Don't know what to think about what?"

"About me. About what happened. About Xellos-san. About you." She drew her hands insider her long sleeves and hugged her knees closer. "I was Mazoku, Zelgadis-san. Do you know what that means? Yes of course you do, but do you know what that means for me? I was the polar opposite of everything I've dedicated my life to. I was pure, unrelenting evil. I served a Dark Lord. Me, the princess of Seyruun. Gods...I should just forfeit the crown now, shouldn't I?"

"No, you-"

She shook her head to stop him.

"It's funny how I started to remember before they started talking. I remember Grau-san, and Grou-san, and I remember that awful sword...that sword they said I used against you. I remember, but it's all shadowy." she paused to give a hollow, bitter laugh. "Isn't that just perfect? My shadow life."

At this moment Zel wanted to reach over and pull her to him, to hold her and tell her that a shadow life was all it was, and it didn't matter in the least. But it did matter...and he had no right to touch her.

"And that Xellos-san saved me. That I was brought back to life by a Mazoku spell. That's...that's bothersome enough, but to know that now I have this thing sealed inside me, put there by someone who has double-crossed us more than once." She was crying again, how could she not? Zel let her cry and made no moves to comfort her. "And you! You're the root of everything that happened here! It's so horrible of me, and yet...it isn't, because I'm right. I'm right, aren't I? Aren't I?"

Zel nodded.

"Because you didn't love me. Or...well, if I listen to Lina-san, you did love me. You always have. But you never said a word. You never gave me any indication that I was anything more than just a girl to you...." Amelia wiped her eyes on her shoulder and folded her arms across her chest, leaning back into her propped-up pillows. "It somehow seems like...I don't know, some kind of poetic justice that I hated you so much. That I died hating you not once but twice. Lina-san and Gourry-san said that I told you I'd kill you. I swore I'd kill you. I couldn't stand the sight of you."

"It's true. You...you fought me like I never...like I never..."he didn't know what else to say.

"I don't know, Zelgadis-san. I'm so confused. I died hating you, and yet from the first moment I wanted you to come and save me. I couldn't ever stop loving you, not even when I hated you...But...but maybe that's the point. I mean, everyone always says love is the worst and the best thing that can happen to you. And maybe you need to know how to hate someone in order to really love them." she shook her head. "I'm not making any sense. It's just that... I'm trying to explain why I've avoided you, why I couldn't talk to you, why why why, when the moment I realized that you were the one who woke me up was the happiest instant I've felt in...what seems like a million years. I don't know what to do, or what to say, or where to start.

"They told me that...you tried to do everything, and you ended up having it all taken away from you. Gourry-san said that you didn't figure everything out until the last minutes...but that was when it really counted, wasn't it?"

Zel didn't respond, busy replaying Dynast's words over and over in his head. A decision no man should ever have to make.

"You gave up your cure to save me."

Yes, he had done that. He'd given up his life's work for her life to continue.

"You flew across this whole ocean in...in two days for me."

All for her. He wouldn't have lasted another day had he not made that trip.

"I...am astounded to say the least."

So was he. And yet...epiphany in the form of the flickering candle came to him, and told him that there really hadn't been a choice. In countless worlds, in any possible reality, there could only be one option, and that option was her.

"I kind of wish you'd say something. Just so I know what you're thinking."

What he said came out of nowhere, and he himself was surprised to hear.

"I remember the night you disappeared, I was thinking about when we first met. About Sairaag and Zanaffar. And I was thinking about how the second time we cast the Rah-Tilt together...for a moment, I thought it flickered in a heart shape. It was just an instant, and I was sure that I had imagined it. I guess I was reminded of that because I Rah-Tilted you through the heart in Dynast's castle." he shrugged a little. "I had been going to cast an Elemekia Lance, but...it change the moment I touched you. I don't know if that means anything to you."

"I don't know yet."she responded softly.

"You don't ever have to."

"Lina-san said you almost went crazy on the boat."

"I almost went crazy this last week."

"She said you thought I was dead."

"You were dead. Er, sort-of. I just...it was this feeling I got. It wouldn't leave. It was just this idea that I was too late. Too late for what, I didn't know then, but..."

"Too late to realize that you..."

"That I love you."

Amelia began to sob again, and Zel felt his heart break for what had to be the five hundredth time. It had just slipped out, and now he wished with all his soul he could take it back. If "I love you" wasn't enough, then there was nothing else to say. He was helpless while she cried, unable to think, or act, or speak.

He shifted around on the bed, trying to get a more comfortable angle, and was surprised when something hard in his pocket pressed into his side. Reaching inside, he pulled out the Mazoku necklace that Arika had saved. Biting his lip, he held it out to her.

"You wore this when you were Amedyn."

She scrubbed at her eyes again and tried to focus on the object in his hand. He expected her strike his hand and send it flying, to demand that he crush it in his stone grip. But instead she lifted it carefully out of his hands, and studied it. And then, as his heart exploded, she reached behind her neck and fasted it back into place.

"What are you doing?!"

"Please, Zelgadis-san..."her voice was even more raspy. "I can't explain it, but it...seemed like the right thing to do. I know you don't like it, and Lina-san, and Gourry-san aren't going to like it. But I...We learn from what we experience, right? And who can say...that even if I went through hell...that I didn't learn anything. That any of us didn't learn anything."

"You...you're right."

"Besides..."it was an afterthought. "It'll keep me from tearing open this wound again." She fixed her gray eyes on his blue ones. "Does it bother you that it's Arret-san's ring?"

"Of course it bothers me, how could it not? Amelia, what I wouldn't give for it to have been your bracelet, or something else, anything..."he swallowed hard, and thought of something Arika had said. "But I guess it doesn't matter whose ring it is. It's who loves you the most."

"And that's you."

"...That's me."

A knee came down and rested flat on the quilt. The other came to rest on top of it, and a hand pushed a body forward.

"Zelgadis-san."

It wasn't a question or the beginning of a sentence. It was just his name, and as she spoke it, a thousand barriers and unspoken words and feelings between them were shattered. He crushed her to him, and was rewarded by her arms winding around his back.

"This isn't over, Zelgadis-san."she mumbled into his shoulder. "I know that we're still going to hurt each other... in too many ways...the same way we always have."

"The same way love always does." As he spoke, his eyes closed and he inhaled the scent of her hair, and his hand touched the clasp of her necklace.

"Thank you for coming to save me."her voice was like breathing, and he didn't know how he'd lived without it.

"No...thank you for saving me." said Zelgadis Graywords as he tilted Amelia's chin up, and finally, finally kissed her.


	20. 19 E Pur Si Muove

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY!

I hope none of you thought I abandoned you or this story. The problem was that the last time I tried to upload this, it all broke and nothing went up. And my health hasn't been so great recently, so doing the entire thing again was a huge effort. I really hate this site sometimes. In any case, my sincere apologies for the long wait.

Because this is the end!

I'm uploading this, the last chapter, and the epilogue together, because they go together, and because, well...I really think the epilogue stands on its own. I hope I haven't lost any of you with the delay because I wanted you to know how much each one of you has meant over the course of this. This was and still is, in my opinion, the greatest work of fiction I've ever written. This story is very personal to me, but it's also an old story from an old fandom. That it found new life here and new readers makes me incredibly happy. I've loved reading your comments and hearing your ideas. Thank you all so much for this.

**Seygram 13 -** Missed you last time around! I wonder that too. A lot, in fact. I'm not sure she'll be such a pariah if no one knows, and it's highly possible that no one outside of her father and her friends will know, although it's certainly something I've thought about. But that's a story for another time. You've been really incredible, thank you for everything.**  
e-chan16 -** Sorry for the wait! And sorry for the sad! I promise no more Zel crying! gives you a cookie  
**Gerao-A - **I would say things are looking up, but that's all my lawyers have advised me to release. Thanks so much for reading, you guys.  
**Lyra Pelgina -** AAARGH, sorry for the wait! Why do I suck so? There's only a little more, I'm sorry to say, but I hope it meets with your approval. :) Thanks for everything. hugs  
**Klutz82 -** I didn't mean to make you cry! I mean, I'm kinda glad you did, because then it means you were really into the story and it was emotional, but...hands you tissues I wish there was more for you, and I'm sorry for making you wait. You've been so awesome. hugs I'm really gonna miss you.  
**Raven Summersong **- Thank you! Thank you a hundred times!  
**Hoshi-chan1 -** Thank you. hugs I'm glad you came back for the end. :)

Oh, and one other thing, I love e-mail and I check it all the time, so if anyone ever wants to talk about what they think happens afterwards, or my own impressions of where the story goes, please just send me a note. I'd love to hear from you. :)

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Part XIX- E Pur Si Muove (_Still, It Moves_)

_"Life's but a walking shadow..."  
-Macbeth_

-------

"Did you really defeat Dark Star all by yourself, Lina-san?"

Lina grinned at the wide-eyed Mikale, expertly ignoring the way Gourry practically facefaulted into the horse he was saddling at sheer disbelief of her arrogance.

"Of course I did!"

"Ahem."

"Alright, Gourry helped."

"Ahem."

"So did Zel."

"Lina-san..."

"And Amelia."she sighed, and glared at them all. "You guys always have to have some of the glory, don't you? Sheesh."

"Lina, if we hadn't been behind you in that last battle, Valgaav would have killed your sorry ass in seconds."Zel countered back with his own stone look across his coffee mug.

"Language, Zelgadis-san!"Amelia admonished him.

"Don't worry about it, Princess."Nijil piped up from where he stood behind the another horse. "Mom swears all the time."

"I do not!" Arika was aghast. "I merely express myself in colorful terms."

"Colorful enough to make the sailors blush." Dkkar patted his mother's shoulder and winked at Dhitney, who stood on her other side.

"You sure I can't come with you, Lina, Gourry?" she laughed helplessly. "My own family seems to be turning against me."

"If you've handled them this long,"Gourry tousled Mikale's hair. "I think you'll be fine. Besides, you haven't seen Lina on her bad days."

Mikale's eyes widened.

"You mean...these...weren't her bad days?!"

"Shut up." Lina grumbled.

Amelia giggled gently, wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, glancing up at Zelgadis and receiving one of his rare, warm smiles in return. She blushed, and smiled back, then wandered over to Lina and Gourry to give them their farewell hugs. Although they'd only been in Merrid two days since their return, the pair was setting off for Seyruun ahead of their companions to tell Phil his daughter was safe. Amelia also suspected, however, that although she wouldn't admit it, Lina wanted to plan her wedding.

"You stay safe, alright?"Lina hugged the small princess tightly before passing her to Gourry for a bear-hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"You have a good trip too, alright?"Amelia grinned and winked one of her silver eyes, flashing Lina their victory sign.

"You know it!"Lina jumped up on her mount and waved good-bye to Arika and sons. "Thanks for everything, and Amelia, we'll see you soon! YAH!" She snapped the reigns and took off down the road.

"Ja!" Gourry offered with a little salute, and followed after her quickly.

"They're quite a pair, aren't they?"Dkkar watched them as they disappeared from view.

"You don't know the half of it."Zel shook his head, and led Amelia back inside.

Arika had insisted that they stay a few extra days just to make sure they'd both healed well. Of course, all were aware that it was more because she didn't want to see them go than anything else.

"Mom would hold you hostage if she could," Dkkar had told them after Dhitney had recounted the harrowing experience of being alone on a boat with a starving Lina and Gourry. Amelia and Zel had sympathized with her completely.

When it did come time for them to leave, almost a month after Xellos had dropped off Amelia in Arika's care, the healer was loathe to let them go. She made sure they had enough food for an army or three days with their companions, and she'd forced more sweaters and pants on both of them, not to mention a smart black riding cloak for Amelia and leather gloves for Zel that she insisted should be worn by someone who was about as handsome as her late husband had been.

"I want you to come back and visit, and you know what, I don't give a damn if it's stupidly far from Seyruun." Arika had held back tears as she hissed at Zel. "And I expect wedding invitations."

"I...uh..."Zel flushed furiously and tugged on his collar.

"You don't have to answer, sugar, I just wanted to see you blush one more time."she kissed him , and then pushed him aside for Amelia. "You have a man there who loves you, and he may have a hard time showing it, but if you never trust anyone else, trust me on this."

"I know, Arika-san."Amelia smiled faintly, her cold-pink cheeks darkening.

"That's my girl."

Hugs were exchanged between Amelia and all the boys, and she obliged Nijil a kiss on the cheek; the boy had never smiled so broadly.

Mikale checked the horse's saddle about three times, and each time around made Zel promise to take good care of Amelia. Zel promised that he would.

Shortly after, they were racing through clear air and dusty snow, Amelia a comfortable weight on his chest as she sat in the saddle in front of him.

Arika watched them go and ran a hand through her long hair as she shook her head.

"Those two..."

"You know, momma," Mikale spoke up. "I've decided that if Zel-san ever does anything really stupid like letting her go again, I'm going to walk down to Seyruun and teach him a lesson."

Arika laughed and pulled her son into a hug.

"Something tells me that that's the last thing you have to worry about."

-------

"They're on their way back to her kingdom?"

"Yes, mistress. She seems to have recovered remarkably well."

"Wonderful. I would have absolutely had your head if you had failed me. You know that, of course."

"Eheh...of course I do. Which is why I did the spell, as you said I might have to."

"You did well, Xellos."

Purple hair brushed past his beaming face as he bowed to his mistress.

"Thank you, Beastmaster-sama."

"You know you aren't done with them yet, though."

"At this rate, I doubt I ever will be."

"You're catching on." Xellas Metallium winked at her protege.

All he could do was sigh.

-------

Water was dripping somewhere far away.

No, it wasn't water, nor was it any great distance.

It was blood dripping from his own mouth. It had been doing that for...for...

How long had he been here in darkness, on his hands and knees, coughing up black bile and ebony blood, feeling like he had been torn apart?

Of course, he had been torn apart, that much was certain.

Releasing an unearthly sound of anguish from his throat, he pulled back to rest on his knees and ended up slumping onto his side, gasping. He was almost glad his priests couldn't see him now; they would certainly have been hysterical.

Well, he hoped they were burning in some special hell just for them.

Betrayers.

He coughed again, and more fluids clogged his throat. It was a miserable feeling, and he hated it.

Running his hand down his torso, he could feel the open flesh where the Sword of the Gods had cut through him, destroying his fine clothing, robbing him of the perfect dignity he'd maintained for eons upon eons.

Damn them all.

No, damn himself, because it was his own mistake in his own equation that had ruined everything. The inconstant variable...how could he have been so stupid?

He lay cursing himself for what seemed like forever, and then, a faint hint of something from another world appeared in the back of his mind.

The sword.

His perfect treasure, his demon sword, had been left behind.

The idea heartened him somehow. Oh, he didn't know what it would mean for the future, but it gave him hope that there would be a future. And when the time came, he'd know where to get his best weapon, and then... then he'd remember to factor in all the variables.

Still, that would take time. This wound was not going to heal easily, and he knew that there was no power in the world that could hasten it. No matter.

Dynast Grausherra faded into his true form and reminded himself that he was very good at waiting.


	21. 20 Epilogue No Matter Where

Epilogue- No Matter Where

_"What would I do if I had not met you?  
Who would I blame my life on?"  
-"Falsettos," William Finn_

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Amelia sat watching the people flow in and out of the inn. Goodness, it certainly was a popular place in town. She almost felt a little bit uncomfortable. It was the first large township she'd been in for months, and she was beginning to realize that people made her the slightest bit nervous. Well, maybe not these people, but the anticipation of the people, namely the Imperial Court in Seyruun, was enough to rouse storms of butterflies in her stomach.

Nevertheless, the thought of home was an exciting prospect. She wondered if Lina and Gourry had yet arrived, if her father knew yet that she had survived death twice and had come back to him.

She wondered if he knew how much his little girl had changed.

Her fingers found the perfect blue stone at her throat, and began to push and pull it back and forth along its cord. Where was Zelgadis? He'd gone out to get supplies while she waited for a table here, and now that she had one, she'd been sitting at it alone almost an hour, ordering nothing but little drinks, and the hostess was obviously getting quite irritated.

"Now look, missy..."

Amelia nearly jumped a foot in the air as the young woman slapped her hands down on the table in front of her.

"I know you said you were waiting for someone, but it looks like I need this table, and if all you're gonna do is sit here and order coffee..." Sparky paused and processed this, then leaned across the table and right into Amelia's face. "You're her, aren't you?" She sounds almost giddy. "You're the girl he was looking for! Of course you are!"

"Huh?"

"Blue guy, lavender hair, nice voice..."Sparky pulled back and nodded sagely. "Yup. You're definitely his girl."

Amelia blushed furiously. Who was this woman?

"Your friend was in here a few months ago, asking for directions. He was looking pretty hard for you, girl. And I'm glad to see he's finally found you." She halted again. "Wait a minute...You're the girl he was looking for...for Seyruun! WAH! YOU'RE THE PRINCESS!"

The entire room quieted down and Amelia could feel all eyes on her. She wanted to crawl under the table.

"Princess Amelia, I am so very, very sorry I was rude, I should have known it was you but you've been missing for ages, and...oh, that would figure in with the blue boy finding you, wouldn't it? Oh. Duh. But, please, Princess, forgive my rudeness! The table's all yours as long as you need it!"

With that, Sparky dashed off to her kitchen, calling to the rest of the staff that they had a very important guest. Many members of the crowd continued to stare at her, and Amelia could hear some mumbled conversations.

"I heard the princess was dead..."

"...Thought she had blue eyes.."

"...Supposed to be married to some prince who thinks she ran away from him..."

"...Eaten by spiders was the news I got. Really, really big spiders."

Amelia decided to tune it out as best she could, but as luck would have it, Zel returned at the moment, and relieved some of the staring eyes.

"What's going on here?"he asked as he sat down across from her and pulled his mask down.

"Your...waitress friend...is a little bit loud."

"Who? Sparky?"

"I guess. She said she knew me from your description from a few months ago."

"Oh. Did she?"

"Uh-huh."she reached for her coffee cup and then pulled her hand back as she saw Zel watching her strangely. "What?"

"Since when do you drink coffee?"

"I...I don't know...I just felt like it, I guess." She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "What took you so long?"

"I was...getting something."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"It had to have been something. You were gone forever."

"It's nothing."

"Tell me what it is."

"Okay, it's something."

"Zelgadis-san..."she pursed her lips in a pout that sent his blood boiling and he had to admit, he'd begun to forget her eyes were ever blue. The gray made her seem...almost more grown up. And that was a silly thought because she _had_ grown up. She'd passed her eighteenth birthday in Dynast's castle; the girl he'd known since she was fourteen was a bona fide woman now.

Eighteen...The age at which princesses got married.

Well, Zel had something to say about that.

"Amelia, I...I don't know if you want this. If you want to deal with it. If you ever want to see something like this again."

"What is it?"she raised an eyebrow. Zel rarely rambled like this, and she figured he had to be extremely nervous about whatever it was he had for her.

"It's um...well, it's because you have this thing that you do..." _Good gods, I sound like an idiot.._ "Because of...oh, hell. Here."

He reached into the pouch on his belt and set down a small diamond ring.

"It's to...uh...replace the one you lost. I mean, not that you lost it, but...You have this habit of trying to play with it and it's not there, so I thought..."

"Zelgadis-san...are you..."

The entire room fell silent again, and wary of their audience, they scooted their chairs in closer to the table and spoke in hushed tones.

"Are you asking me to..."

"I..."

"You?"

"I don't know."

Amelia, and approximately sixty other people faceplanted into their tables.

"You bought me a diamond ring and you don't know?"

Steeling himself, Zel picked up the ring and took her left hand, sliding it onto her third finger.

"I said that I bought it to replace the old one. You can interpret that however you want."

"I think...that maybe we need to discuss this in private. When we get to Seyruun."

The groans were audible, and Zel had to restrain himself from going ballistic on the whole lot of them, damn eavesdroppers. He concentrated instead on her hand in his, the way the light flickered in this stone -a stone that he'd bought, he, Zelgadis- and knew that this was right. The best decision a man should ever have to make.

"I think that I'm not very hungry anymore."Amelia stood up. "I'd like to continue home. I want to get there soon."

The faintest hint of a smile touching the corners of his mouth, Zel stood up too, and together they walked through the door. As they exited, they heard Sparky bemoaning the loss of good publicity, and smirking a little, Amelia slid her hand into Zel's.

They were on their horse again in minutes, trotting easily down the trade route to Seyruun.

"You know I like this ring better. It's smaller, but it seems...brighter. Nicer. A better ring overall."

"I'm glad you like it."Zel let his left hand drop the reigns and wrapped his arm around her. "I wasn't quite sure if you'd want another diamond ring."

"I only have one."

"You-"

"I only have one." she repeated. "And no matter where I go, or where you go, or where any other ring might be, this is the only ring I have. All right?"

"All right."Zel grinned.

"Good."she smiled, letting her hands caress her necklace again. Leaning back against him, she shut her gray eyes, and let him guide them home.


End file.
